negative, she brought with her quite a few dust bunnies, a number of centipedes, and a couple of large, extremely traumatised spiders.
"No."Astrid placed one hand firmly on the back of my neck.
"But-"
"Billy!" Astrid bent over and hissed into my ear. "We are in a human neighbourhood. If I ever have to explain to another one why you are chasing the wildlife in human form, I swear I will put catnip in your underwear for the next fifty years!"
She hopped off the car as the front door burst open and Susan came running out, looking horrified and wailing. "Stay here. Calm zombie-girl down before we end up drawing attention."
"Astrid." When she turned back I asked, "Have you ever heard a noise like that?"
She nodded. "About once a month. You get hair balls, Billy. It's gross."
She went off to comfort Ruth, who was flickering - something she only did when either extremely frightened or angry. Catching a glimpse of her face, I was betting on the pissed off option.
I did what any sane man does when confronted with an angry red-head, and headed off to calm the zombie.
"I don't know what happened," Susan said again."She wanted to see the house, so I showed her. Then we went down to the basement and everything went nuts."
"Nuts in what way?"
"The lights started flickering on and off. Then the washer lunged across the floor at us. I was running for the stairs when the main light exploded, and there was this big dark shadow and then something yanked Ruth through the wall."She sniffed. "I thought - I guess I thought she was dead."
"Susan," I said. "She's a ghost. Trust me on this, she's already dead."
She sighed. "I know. But she looks like a living person most of the time, and - and she was nice to me, okay? That doesn't happen very often nowadays."
"Okay. Why did you run? What scared you so much down there?"
"I told you," she said. "The washing machine tried to get us."
I must have looked as confused as I felt.
"Billy," she said. "I can't heal. If that machine had hit me and broken my leg, I'd be crippled as well as undead. "
"Has-" my throat was suddenly dry. "Has this thing attacked you before?"
She nodded. "I stopped going down there after the last time, and it wasn't as fast or as scary then as this time. I thought maybe nothing would happen with Ruth being there." She shrugged. "I guess it doesn't mind an audience."
I rubbed a hand over my mouth and stared at my client. "Susan, you aren't being haunted. This thing is trying to kill you." Permanently. Or even worse, trap her in the basement with it, as something to play with.
Four
O nce I'd filled the girls in, things started moving pretty fast.
We decided that the safest thing would be to check our client into a little motel down the road. Although the action had stayed in the basement so far, none of us wanted to take the chance of it staying that way.
Susan went back inside to pack a bag. Ruth went with her, which neither Astrid nor I were crazy about, but we couldn't think of a good reason to stop her. If it was too dangerous for our partner, we had no business sending our client back in, and we knew it. Didn't mean we had to like it, though.
We were back on the car, sitting quietly. One of the best things about Astrid – no unnecessary chatter. We've been friends for a long time. Neither of us feels the need to talk just to fill the air.
Astrid suddenly straightened and snapped her fingers. "Mike," she said, and I groaned.
"Really?"
"Know any other reliable mediums?"
I grunted and Astrid nudged me in the ribs. "It's not his fault he's allergic, you know."
"He sneezed on me, Astrid. Repeatedly." And not in a place I could easily clean, either. Oh, no. He'd managed to hit the back of my neck. At full volume.
It was beyond disgusting.
"He needed five stitches," Astrid said.
"And if he'd done that to you, he'd have needed a body
"No."Astrid placed one hand firmly on the back of my neck.
"But-"
"Billy!" Astrid bent over and hissed into my ear. "We are in a human neighbourhood. If I ever have to explain to another one why you are chasing the wildlife in human form, I swear I will put catnip in your underwear for the next fifty years!"
She hopped off the car as the front door burst open and Susan came running out, looking horrified and wailing. "Stay here. Calm zombie-girl down before we end up drawing attention."
"Astrid." When she turned back I asked, "Have you ever heard a noise like that?"
She nodded. "About once a month. You get hair balls, Billy. It's gross."
She went off to comfort Ruth, who was flickering - something she only did when either extremely frightened or angry. Catching a glimpse of her face, I was betting on the pissed off option.
I did what any sane man does when confronted with an angry red-head, and headed off to calm the zombie.
"I don't know what happened," Susan said again."She wanted to see the house, so I showed her. Then we went down to the basement and everything went nuts."
"Nuts in what way?"
"The lights started flickering on and off. Then the washer lunged across the floor at us. I was running for the stairs when the main light exploded, and there was this big dark shadow and then something yanked Ruth through the wall."She sniffed. "I thought - I guess I thought she was dead."
"Susan," I said. "She's a ghost. Trust me on this, she's already dead."
She sighed. "I know. But she looks like a living person most of the time, and - and she was nice to me, okay? That doesn't happen very often nowadays."
"Okay. Why did you run? What scared you so much down there?"
"I told you," she said. "The washing machine tried to get us."
I must have looked as confused as I felt.
"Billy," she said. "I can't heal. If that machine had hit me and broken my leg, I'd be crippled as well as undead. "
"Has-" my throat was suddenly dry. "Has this thing attacked you before?"
She nodded. "I stopped going down there after the last time, and it wasn't as fast or as scary then as this time. I thought maybe nothing would happen with Ruth being there." She shrugged. "I guess it doesn't mind an audience."
I rubbed a hand over my mouth and stared at my client. "Susan, you aren't being haunted. This thing is trying to kill you." Permanently. Or even worse, trap her in the basement with it, as something to play with.
Four
O nce I'd filled the girls in, things started moving pretty fast.
We decided that the safest thing would be to check our client into a little motel down the road. Although the action had stayed in the basement so far, none of us wanted to take the chance of it staying that way.
Susan went back inside to pack a bag. Ruth went with her, which neither Astrid nor I were crazy about, but we couldn't think of a good reason to stop her. If it was too dangerous for our partner, we had no business sending our client back in, and we knew it. Didn't mean we had to like it, though.
We were back on the car, sitting quietly. One of the best things about Astrid – no unnecessary chatter. We've been friends for a long time. Neither of us feels the need to talk just to fill the air.
Astrid suddenly straightened and snapped her fingers. "Mike," she said, and I groaned.
"Really?"
"Know any other reliable mediums?"
I grunted and Astrid nudged me in the ribs. "It's not his fault he's allergic, you know."
"He sneezed on me, Astrid. Repeatedly." And not in a place I could easily clean, either. Oh, no. He'd managed to hit the back of my neck. At full volume.
It was beyond disgusting.
"He needed five stitches," Astrid said.
"And if he'd done that to you, he'd have needed a body
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