It's. Nice. Outside. by Jim Kokoris

knows who you are.”
    â€œWell, that makes two of us.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Anyway, I don’t want to have the ‘how do they get your ass to inflate like that?’ conversation right now.”
    â€œYou didn’t have to be rude. He’s a nice guy.”
    â€œNice guy.” Mindy rolled her eyes. “Just stop it.”
    â€œStop what?”
    â€œStop trying to fix me up with some guy, okay? It drives me nuts.” She grabbed her purse, rummaged through it, then slapped a black American Express card down on the bar.
    â€œI wasn’t trying to do anything, but okay, I’ll shut up.” I picked up the card and handed it back to her and placed my own pedestrian green American Express card down.
    â€œDo you have my key?”
    â€œI’ve got it here somewhere.” I began emptying my pockets. “I know I have it.”
    â€œOh, fuck!” Mindy jumped off her barstool. “Ethan! Stay over there. I’m coming! Stay right there!”
    â€œWhat?” I looked up just as Ethan, in bare feet and boxers, darted across the lobby toward the bar. With his knees locked and his long skinny arms flapping about, he looked like an electrocuted stick figure.
    â€œMindy! Here! Mindy! Here! Hello! Hello! Hello!”
    â€œOh, Jesus!” I bolted from my chair, but Mindy reached him first, covering him with a hug.
    â€œHi, buddy! Let’s get back to your room, okay?”
    â€œWhere. Mom. Be?”
    â€œShe’s not here. Come on. Let’s go. Dad, give me the key.”
    â€œCold. Out.”
    â€œThat’s because you’re almost naked.”
    â€œYes. Ma’am!” He laughed and kept hugging her hard, his face beaming. He loved Mindy.
    I stroked his hair and squeezed his shoulder. I was trembling. I had no idea how he had gotten out. “The door mustn’t have closed all the way, or he figured out how to open it or something. He’s never done this before. Never!”
    â€œHe’s fine,” Mindy said.
    Ethan, one arm still around Mindy, reached out and pulled me close. The three of us were now in a small, tight circle. I suddenly feared where things were heading.
    â€œOh God,” I said.
    â€œWhat?”
    In an off-key voice, Ethan began, “Family. Family! Family! U! …”
    Mindy’s eyes grew wide. “Not the family fight song, please. I’m tired.”
    â€œSing!” Ethan yelled.
    â€œFuck!”
    â€œJust do it,” I said. “He won’t stop until we do.”
    â€œDad, I can’t, come on! Not here.”
    â€œYou’re an actress, act,” I whispered between gritted teeth. “No one’s here anyway.”
    â€œDad!”
    â€œSing!”
    â€œDo it,” I said. “Please.”
    So we held hands and sang, “Family! Family! Family! U.S.A!” Over Mindy’s shoulder, I saw the bartender, frozen in the act of wiping a glass, his mouth agape.
    â€œThere’s still only one verse, right?” Mindy asked when we were finished.
    â€œYes.”
    â€œGood, let’s beat it.”
    I handed Mindy her key. “I shouldn’t have left him,” I said again.
    â€œEverything’s fine.” She lead Ethan away. “Just get Red Bear. She’s probably going to hit on that bartender.”
    *   *   *
    After I put Ethan back to bed, I went into the bathroom, and hit speed dial. Mary surprised me by answering.
    â€œOh God,” she said.
    â€œWhat happened? Is it true? What is going on?”
    â€œIt’s off. She’s not going through with it. She caught him. He was cheating. Apparently, she’s suspected for a while, and then she caught him.”
    â€œUnbelievable!”
    â€œShe caught him in the pool with Penny.”
    â€œJesus, not Penny!” I said even though, at that exact moment, I hadn’t a clue who Penny was. Then, “The pool?”
    â€œThe