Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore Page A
Authors: Christopher Moore
Tags: Humor
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can't let them think that they can reach him directly." He fumed and started out of the room.
"Sebastian," she said and the Sorcerer paused and looked over his shoulder at her. "What about the pilot? What if Malink is right about the pilot being on his way?"
"Don't be stupid, Beth. The only way to control the faithful is to not become one of them." He fumed to leave and was struck in the back of the head by a high-velocity whiskey tumbler. He fumed as he dropped to the floor grasping his head.
The High Priestess was standing by the bed wearing nothing but a fine golden chain at her hips and an animal scowl. "You ever call me stupid again and I'll rip your fucking nuts off."
21 – How the Navigator Got from
There to Here
Watching the sharks circle the boat, Tuck felt as if he was being sucked down the vortex of a huge bathroom drain.
"We need a better weapon," Tuck said. He remembered a movie once where Spencer Tracy had battled sharks from a small boat with a knife lashed to an oar. "Don't we have any oars?"
Kimi looked insulted. "What wrong with me?"
"Not whores. Oars!" Tucker pantomimed rowing. "For rowing."
"How I know what you talking about? Malcolme always say oars. 'Bloody oars,' he say. No, we don't have oars."
"Bail," Tuck said.
The navigator began scooping water with the coffee can as Tuck did his best to bail with his hands.
A half hour later the boat was only partially full of water and the sharks had moved on to easier meals. Tucker fell back onto the bow to catch his breath. The sun was still low in the morning sky, but already it burned his skin. The parts of his body not soaked with seawater were soaked with sweat. He dug into the pack and pulled out the liter bottle of water he had bought the day before. It was half-full and it was all they had.
Tuck eyed the navigator, who was bailing intently. He'd never know if Tuck drank all of the water right now. He unscrewed the cap and took a small sip. Nectar of the gods. Keeping his eye on Kimi, he a took a large gulp. He could almost feel his water-starved cells rejoicing at the relief.
As he bailed, Kimi sang softly in Spanish to Roberto, who clung to his back. Whenever he tried to hit a high note, his voice cracked like crumpled parchment. Salt was crusted at the comers of his mouth.
"Kimi, you want a drink?" Tucker crawled onto the gas tank and held the bottle out to the navigator.
Kimi took the bottle. "Thank you," he said. He wiped the mouth of the bottle on his dress and took a deep drink, then poured some water into his palm and held it while Roberto lapped it up. He handed the bottle back to Tucker.
"You drink the rest. You bigger."
Tucker nodded and drained the bottle. "Who's Malcolme?"
"Malcolme buy me from my mother. He from Sydney. He a pimp."
"He bought you?"
"Yes. My mother very poor in Manila. She can't feed me, so she sell me to Malcolme when I am twelve."
"What about your father?"
"He not with us. He a navigator on Satawan. He meet my mother in Manila when he is working on a tuna boat. He marry her and take her to Satawan. She stay for ten years, but she not like it. She say women like dirt to Micronesians. So she take me and go back to Manila when I am nine. Then she sell me to Malcolme. He dress me up and I make big money for him. But he mean to me. He say I have to get rid Roberto, so I run away to find my father to finish teach me to be a navigator. They hear of him on Yap. They say he lost at sea five year ago."
"And he was the one that taught you to navigate?" Tucker knew it was a snotty question, but he had no idea what to say to someone whose mother had sold him to a pimp.
Kimi didn't catch the sarcasm. "He teach me some. It take long time to be navigator. Sometime twenty, thirty year. You want ream, I teach you."
Tucker remembered how difficult it had been to learn Western navigation for his pilot's license. And that was using sophisticated charts and instruments. He could imagine that reaming to navigate by the
"Sebastian," she said and the Sorcerer paused and looked over his shoulder at her. "What about the pilot? What if Malink is right about the pilot being on his way?"
"Don't be stupid, Beth. The only way to control the faithful is to not become one of them." He fumed to leave and was struck in the back of the head by a high-velocity whiskey tumbler. He fumed as he dropped to the floor grasping his head.
The High Priestess was standing by the bed wearing nothing but a fine golden chain at her hips and an animal scowl. "You ever call me stupid again and I'll rip your fucking nuts off."
21 – How the Navigator Got from
There to Here
Watching the sharks circle the boat, Tuck felt as if he was being sucked down the vortex of a huge bathroom drain.
"We need a better weapon," Tuck said. He remembered a movie once where Spencer Tracy had battled sharks from a small boat with a knife lashed to an oar. "Don't we have any oars?"
Kimi looked insulted. "What wrong with me?"
"Not whores. Oars!" Tucker pantomimed rowing. "For rowing."
"How I know what you talking about? Malcolme always say oars. 'Bloody oars,' he say. No, we don't have oars."
"Bail," Tuck said.
The navigator began scooping water with the coffee can as Tuck did his best to bail with his hands.
A half hour later the boat was only partially full of water and the sharks had moved on to easier meals. Tucker fell back onto the bow to catch his breath. The sun was still low in the morning sky, but already it burned his skin. The parts of his body not soaked with seawater were soaked with sweat. He dug into the pack and pulled out the liter bottle of water he had bought the day before. It was half-full and it was all they had.
Tuck eyed the navigator, who was bailing intently. He'd never know if Tuck drank all of the water right now. He unscrewed the cap and took a small sip. Nectar of the gods. Keeping his eye on Kimi, he a took a large gulp. He could almost feel his water-starved cells rejoicing at the relief.
As he bailed, Kimi sang softly in Spanish to Roberto, who clung to his back. Whenever he tried to hit a high note, his voice cracked like crumpled parchment. Salt was crusted at the comers of his mouth.
"Kimi, you want a drink?" Tucker crawled onto the gas tank and held the bottle out to the navigator.
Kimi took the bottle. "Thank you," he said. He wiped the mouth of the bottle on his dress and took a deep drink, then poured some water into his palm and held it while Roberto lapped it up. He handed the bottle back to Tucker.
"You drink the rest. You bigger."
Tucker nodded and drained the bottle. "Who's Malcolme?"
"Malcolme buy me from my mother. He from Sydney. He a pimp."
"He bought you?"
"Yes. My mother very poor in Manila. She can't feed me, so she sell me to Malcolme when I am twelve."
"What about your father?"
"He not with us. He a navigator on Satawan. He meet my mother in Manila when he is working on a tuna boat. He marry her and take her to Satawan. She stay for ten years, but she not like it. She say women like dirt to Micronesians. So she take me and go back to Manila when I am nine. Then she sell me to Malcolme. He dress me up and I make big money for him. But he mean to me. He say I have to get rid Roberto, so I run away to find my father to finish teach me to be a navigator. They hear of him on Yap. They say he lost at sea five year ago."
"And he was the one that taught you to navigate?" Tucker knew it was a snotty question, but he had no idea what to say to someone whose mother had sold him to a pimp.
Kimi didn't catch the sarcasm. "He teach me some. It take long time to be navigator. Sometime twenty, thirty year. You want ream, I teach you."
Tucker remembered how difficult it had been to learn Western navigation for his pilot's license. And that was using sophisticated charts and instruments. He could imagine that reaming to navigate by the
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