Into the Fire by Donna Alward

fingers trembled and she clasped them together in her lap. “Dad, I just came from the hospital. He loves what he does, so how could I ask him to quit? I’m scared. When he was gone last night, I couldn’t sleep. And when Constable Givens came to the door…” She shuddered. “I’m not sure I’m up to that. Not after Becca. Because I love him. And I don’t ever want to get that knock on the door. I don’t know how I’d survive it.”
    “Oh, sweetie.”
    “So that’s it. I’m a big coward and I know it. Truthfully, I’ve been looking at my options, and more and more it seems like going away might be the best plan. I’ve been looking into the vet-tech course at the college.”
    He reached over and patted her hand. “That sounds more like running away than a solution, Ally.”
    “Maybe. Maybe it’s just too hard being in the same town. It can feel awfully small around here.”
    Ernie sighed. “Well, whatever you decide, we’ll support you. And first thing is going to be buying you breakfast. Seems to me you always liked the ham and egg panini here.”
    The thought of it made her stomach growl. The two slices of frozen pizza were long gone and she was suddenly starving. “It’s a deal,” she answered, reaching for the door handle.
     
    Ally knew she couldn’t put the talk off. Chris had said he loved her. She’d honestly thought she could handle it all this time, but she’d been wrong. Her dad might call it running away, but she knew leaving was best. Otherwise they’d just be torturing each other, wouldn’t they?
    Chris was in a private room for the night, awake, alert and finishing up his dinner when she walked in. The room smelled of cafeteria food, and she saw remnants of mashed potatoes on his plate.
    His arm was wrapped but not casted, and he had it elevated in a sling as he sat up in bed, still in the hospital johnny shirt. The bruise on his cheek had deepened to a nasty purple, and there was a cut on his forehead. But the smile on his face when she walked in lit up the room. Her heart gave a welcome leap at the sight of it, but was soon chased off with despair over what she’d ultimately come to say.
    “I didn’t expect to see you tonight,” he said, pushing the tray away awkwardly. “How’s Moose?”
    “He’s had a long walk followed by a shameful number of treats. I’ll go over and let him out again before I go home, but do you think he’ll be all right overnight?”
    “I’ll be home in another twenty-four hours if all goes right,” he answered. “He’ll be okay for one night, I think.”
    “I’d take him home with me if I could.”
    “I know that.” He patted the bed. “Come sit down.”
    She pulled a chair close to the bed instead, and saw the moment his eyes grew wary.
    “This isn’t going to be good, is it?” he asked.
    She paused, unsure of how to start. But she didn’t expect Chris’s anger to flare.
    “Goddammit, Ally. If it was always going to be like this, why the hell did you let things go as far as they did?”
    “I don’t know,” she answered. But she did know. Because she’d wanted him so much. Because she’d fooled herself into believing it was okay.
    “Do you love me?” he asked.
    “Don’t ask me that,” she replied, staring at the bed sheet. “Loving you has never been the problem.”
    “It was okay until this.” He lifted his bandaged arm a bit. “Hell, it’s just a broken arm. I’m going to be fine.”
    She looked up. “This time.”
    “You never wanted me to become a firefighter. You told me that you couldn’t marry me because you didn’t know what you wanted, but what you meant was you didn’t want me.”
    “That’s not true!”
    “Ally,” he said gently, “Why do you think I came back here and volunteered rather than going somewhere else with a bigger, paid department? I wanted to be near you.”
    “Then that was your mistake,” she replied.
    “Most of the time there isn’t even any danger,” he said. “You’d