issues.
I couldn’t help but laugh, even though I suspected it was aimed at me. Lying back on the sand, I felt small amounts of it trickle down the neck of my shirt. The clouds above were moving so fast it was almost hypnotic. Every once in a while a star would peek through for a moment before its light was swarmed and choked out by the roiling mass.
A few guys stood around a huge cooler of punch that was on a table to one side of the fire. I saw Matt and Leroy from the soccer team lift the lid and pour something in the top. I shook my head. No more punch for me. I had enough problems keeping my body and brain in check without any … additives.
Matt caught my eye and walked over. Swinging myself upright, I checked my watch out of habit. It was getting late, but it didn’t matter. I knew whose dreams I wanted to watch and I was going to make it happen. He sat down between me and the fire. We’d been friendly at practice and games last season, but I wasn’t here for conversation and he was blocking my view.
I picked up a jagged rock about the size of my fist and squeezed it for a moment. The rough edge dug into my palm a little and I loosened my grip. Pulling it across the sand, I dug a crevice in the ground between us. We were divided. I was separated from everyone else. Couldn’t he see that and just leave me alone?
“So, what’s up with you, man?” Grabbing a handful of sand, he let it fall through his fingers, ruining my line. When half of it blew back into his face, I forced myself not to laugh.
“Meaning?”
“You haven’t been showing up to practice and Jeff seems pissed.” He turned to face me.
“And?”
“Look, I just wanted to warn you. He says if you don’t get it together before the season starts, he’s going to talk to Coach Mahoney about replacing you.” He looked out at the water and fidgeted. “I just think you shouldn’t be a co-captain if you don’t even bother to show up.”
I watched him for a moment before leaning back to get a better view of Mia. “You want my spot, Matt? Is that it?”
His face turned bright red and I could see I’d hit my mark. “Screw you, Parker. I was just trying to help.” He stood up and walked back to the fire.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care about soccer. With the way my grades were falling, it had always been my best shot at getting into college even though I’d never really believed I’d live that long. Now, with Mia, there was a chance I could survive even longer than I’d hoped—and that possibility was so much more important than Matt wanting to take my place as a starter that it was almost ridiculous to waste time thinking about it.
My gaze pulled back to Mia, again and again. She was like a magnet. I was planning to stop her when she left, but the fear that she’d get away without making eye contact suffocated me. I couldn’t approach her with Addie standing there though. Her anger was bad enough from a distance. I couldn’t stand to feel it close-up, especially since I deserved it.
I pulled my shoulders up tight and then released them, trying to relax the tense knots in my neck as I pushed the guilt aside. I needed to focus on Mia.
She wore a big jacket she’d probably borrowed from Jeff. I liked the way her small hands barely poked out from the long sleeves. If I hadn’t been so drawn to her dreams—and if I ever decided to break my own rule about girls—I might’ve been interested for other reasons. As it stood, one addiction at a time was plenty.
I didn’t realize I’d been staring at her for several minutes until I caught Jeff’s eye as he released one of the cheerleaders. He walked toward Mia, moving to block my view. Taking her hand, he tried to pull her toward the bonfire. She froze up and didn’t move a step. I could see her legs trembling and she shook her head violently. Addie laid a hand on Jeff’s arm and smiled, said something in his ear, and turned him back toward the fire. Jeff laughed, shrugged, and
I couldn’t help but laugh, even though I suspected it was aimed at me. Lying back on the sand, I felt small amounts of it trickle down the neck of my shirt. The clouds above were moving so fast it was almost hypnotic. Every once in a while a star would peek through for a moment before its light was swarmed and choked out by the roiling mass.
A few guys stood around a huge cooler of punch that was on a table to one side of the fire. I saw Matt and Leroy from the soccer team lift the lid and pour something in the top. I shook my head. No more punch for me. I had enough problems keeping my body and brain in check without any … additives.
Matt caught my eye and walked over. Swinging myself upright, I checked my watch out of habit. It was getting late, but it didn’t matter. I knew whose dreams I wanted to watch and I was going to make it happen. He sat down between me and the fire. We’d been friendly at practice and games last season, but I wasn’t here for conversation and he was blocking my view.
I picked up a jagged rock about the size of my fist and squeezed it for a moment. The rough edge dug into my palm a little and I loosened my grip. Pulling it across the sand, I dug a crevice in the ground between us. We were divided. I was separated from everyone else. Couldn’t he see that and just leave me alone?
“So, what’s up with you, man?” Grabbing a handful of sand, he let it fall through his fingers, ruining my line. When half of it blew back into his face, I forced myself not to laugh.
“Meaning?”
“You haven’t been showing up to practice and Jeff seems pissed.” He turned to face me.
“And?”
“Look, I just wanted to warn you. He says if you don’t get it together before the season starts, he’s going to talk to Coach Mahoney about replacing you.” He looked out at the water and fidgeted. “I just think you shouldn’t be a co-captain if you don’t even bother to show up.”
I watched him for a moment before leaning back to get a better view of Mia. “You want my spot, Matt? Is that it?”
His face turned bright red and I could see I’d hit my mark. “Screw you, Parker. I was just trying to help.” He stood up and walked back to the fire.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care about soccer. With the way my grades were falling, it had always been my best shot at getting into college even though I’d never really believed I’d live that long. Now, with Mia, there was a chance I could survive even longer than I’d hoped—and that possibility was so much more important than Matt wanting to take my place as a starter that it was almost ridiculous to waste time thinking about it.
My gaze pulled back to Mia, again and again. She was like a magnet. I was planning to stop her when she left, but the fear that she’d get away without making eye contact suffocated me. I couldn’t approach her with Addie standing there though. Her anger was bad enough from a distance. I couldn’t stand to feel it close-up, especially since I deserved it.
I pulled my shoulders up tight and then released them, trying to relax the tense knots in my neck as I pushed the guilt aside. I needed to focus on Mia.
She wore a big jacket she’d probably borrowed from Jeff. I liked the way her small hands barely poked out from the long sleeves. If I hadn’t been so drawn to her dreams—and if I ever decided to break my own rule about girls—I might’ve been interested for other reasons. As it stood, one addiction at a time was plenty.
I didn’t realize I’d been staring at her for several minutes until I caught Jeff’s eye as he released one of the cheerleaders. He walked toward Mia, moving to block my view. Taking her hand, he tried to pull her toward the bonfire. She froze up and didn’t move a step. I could see her legs trembling and she shook her head violently. Addie laid a hand on Jeff’s arm and smiled, said something in his ear, and turned him back toward the fire. Jeff laughed, shrugged, and
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