Insight by Jolene Perry

We’re still walking up the hill to his house. “How can you tell the difference?”
    “I can’t.” I stop. Emotion pours through me. He’s just hit on the most frustrating and absurd thing about it all. “I can’t tell the difference. If I see someone crash in a car, I don’t know if the car crash still just weighs on their mind or if it’ll happen later that day or later that month! Or maybe not ever. Maybe things will change and that crash will never happen. Or seeing my dad’s fiancé in a hospital bed and having no idea how she gets there!”
    Or I see a girl at our school die, only I think she just passed out and I don’t know what to do with that either. And I saw myself in the middle of a situation from both you and your cousin, only I have so little to go on, I can’t even make guesses as to what it might be. Oh! And we apparently are going to kiss. My heart’s pounding again.
    “Sucks.” His voice is quiet. Sympathetic. “Like what purpose would it even serve then?”
    “I don’t know. Special torture?” I start walking again.
    “Wait, where are we going?”
    “You said you wanted to experiment. Maybe if I touch a few people you know or just anyone, I can tell you what I see , and you can decide if you believe me or not.” Am I seriously doing this? I can’t even remember the last time I had a conversation this long, much less one where I talk about what I do. He knows. He knows . He may not believe me, but the words left my mouth.
    “So, now it does matter if I believe you?” He likes the idea of that, his smile is back and so is the teasing look around his eyes.
    Landon’s smile is for me. My chest swells.
    I desperately want him to believe me. I want him to feel whatever he feels in the kiss that I see. The realization of that has been sneaking in, but now it hits me hard.
    I want him to know , and I want him to believe me.
    “I still think the easiest thing would be for you to tell me what you see when you touch me.” He wags his brows.
    “Nope.” And I have to keep my cheeks from turning red at just the thought of it.
    “Fine.” He leans closer. “But especially when I’m bored, I have this great habit of getting what I want.”
    I breathe in. Juicy fruit gum. My heart pounds hard for a completely different reason. What would it be like to kiss him? Will we actually get that far? “Good for you.” I don’t mean it to come out snappy, but it does. I don’t want to be thinking about his breath or how his mouth would taste. Not right now. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
    “Can you tell me about someone we both know?” he suggests.
    I think back to last week at school. “Mrs. Hobbs.” I nod. “She touched my shoulder and I saw her crying over a huge orange cat.”
    Landon bursts out laughing. “Are you kidding me?”
    “No.” Why is this so funny? And maybe this is where his fascination ends, and the teasing begins.
    “Sorry.” He’s still laughing. “It’s just, I always think about Calvin and Hobbs when I’m her in class ‘cause she’s Hobbs, and then you said something about an orange cat.”
    “It wasn’t a tiger. Does that help?” I cross my arms across my chest. Why am I even trying?
    “I’m sorry.” He shrugs, still chuckling. “I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere, though.”
    “Landon!” His mom waves from next to the house.
    “Hey,” he whispers. “Do you think you could act normal?”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?” I kind of want to smack him for that comment.
    “It means that you have this ‘screw you’ look plastered all over your face most of the time, and it doesn’t really suit you. I mean, I guess if I saw crap, I’d be like that, too. But you’re too pretty to be scowling all the time.” He looks from me to his house a couple times. “Let’s go meet my mom.”
    “I’ve met your mom.” I’m still offended by the ‘screw you look’ comment. Though, I shouldn’t be. It’s actually what I try to do. It just