Inside Out by Lauren Dane

some crime stats, and the neighborhood you’re in has a really low crime rate, especially violent crimes. You’re three floors up, which makes the fact that you have all those windows much less of a problem.”
    “It’s not that. It’s not a fear like that. It’s ...” She chewed her lip for a moment. “I know all those things. I appreciate that you looked. I feel safe in the building. I feel safe at work. I don’t go around worried all the time. Even when I’m at work and a client goes crazy, I can handle it.”
    “Because you’re an eminently capable person. Hello.”
    “Ha. Not so much, not all the time anyway.”
    “So what do you mean then?”
    “This is embarrassing.”
    “Then don’t go on if you don’t want to. I don’t want to put you on the spot. I just wanted you to know I was around to hear whatever you wanted to say. Or not.”
    She chewed her lip for long moments, and then she blurted, “Sometimes, totally out of the blue, I go to the grocery store in the middle of the day, and I get so freaked out I can’t get out of the car. I don’t like that . . . that uncertainty in my life.”
    Ah, there it was. Control, or lack of it. That’s what drove her now, and he got it. He could help her take control.
    He exhaled softly, taking her hand again, sliding his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. Funny how fragile she felt and what a contrast it made with how strong she really was. “Give yourself a break. First and foremost, Ella, beautiful and strong, let yourself be fucked up. A little. It’s okay.”
    She blinked several times and took a shuddering breath.
    As much as he loved his friends and celebrated their upcoming wedding, he wished quite fervently that he and Ella were in a more private place better suited to such a conversation. The last thing he wanted was to set her off balance so she’d have to explain it to anyone or feel embarrassed over it.
    She’d opened up to him in a way he was totally certain she had not to very many others. He fought back a tide of emotion. Pride in her, that she’d opened up to him, that she was so amazing. Awe at how strong she was and that she didn’t seem to get it. Anger at her ex. Fear that he’d never be able to get her past this place. Fear that he’d never have her.
    Suddenly the idea of not having her was simply unbearable.
    “I can help you. If you let me. If you want me to. I can help you with part of the fear.”
    Her breath caught. “How?”
    “A place can be safe, but this isn’t about a place, is it? Sometimes it’s just you, and then what? Is that it?”
    Tears glistened in her eyes. He nearly shut up, not wanting her to hurt more.
    “How about you let me give you some self-defense training? One-on-one. I can give you the tools to open that fucking car door and go shopping. Or at least another reason to try.”
    When she answered, her voice was small but lined with steel. “I am so very tired of being afraid and debilitated.”
    He wanted to kiss her so badly he had to swallow it back. When he’d first seen her come out, the lush plum-colored dress hugging every inch of her body, her breasts showcased pretty damned spectacularly, he’d choked on the sparkling water he’d been drinking. She wasn’t one to dress up very often or to wear more than a hint of lip gloss. But there she was, her hair shiny and smooth, her eyes and lips done up, wearing a dress that snatched the breath from him. She was breathtakingly beautiful. What he’d been the most touched by, though, was the way she’d been. More carefree than he’d seen her in years. Enjoying herself, being with her friends and, if he wasn’t wrong, aware that she looked pretty and enjoying that.
    She was blossoming, and it looked just right on her. “All right then. I know you’re busy, but how about we try for three times a week? Do you exercise regularly?” He was pretty sure she did. Her body was toned. He knew this because sneaking looks at her body was one of