care of yourself! I can’t intervene anymore, no matter how much I may want too. I always told you that you belonged to me but now I have to let you go. I love you Natalie,” he said as he carefully laid me down in my bed.
“Please don’t go!” I cried, barley able to speak, my voice cracking, as the lump in my throat grew, making it hard for me to breathe. He leaned over and kissed me again.
“Be strong. Breathe,” he ordered as he faded in front of me.
“NO!” I shouted, crying hysterically. The nurses rushed in and held me down while one of them injected me. I crashed down on the bed unable to close my eyes, feeling the room spin, I sunk deeper and deeper into the abyss, the emptiness that took over me was beyond any pain I had ever felt. The despair was intolerable. The pain was excruciating. I faded into the drug induced nothingness.
9. LETTING GO
The psychiatrist decided to delay my release, as my condition seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. I couldn’t pick myself up out of this depression. I was having trouble talking. I couldn’t eat or sleep without assistance. The doctors feared I might become too dependent on the medication but they didn’t know what else to do with me. My psychiatrist was confused by my sudden turn. I wasn’t allowed visitors anymore. My mother was only allowed a short amount of time with me and it had to be supervised by a counselor. I think they thought my parents may be the cause for my condition.
I was lying there on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep again when I heard a quite knock on my door. It slowly opened and closed, not making a sound. I saw someone standing in the shadows. My heart leaped when I thought it might be Adam. Hayden appeared in front of me.
“Hi,” he said, casually like he always sneaks into my hospital room in the middle of the night.
“Hi, if I knew company was coming I may have showered and dressed,” I tried to smile.
“You look and smell wonderful,” he joked.
“So seriously, how have you been?” he asked looking me over, taking in my pale skin, the dark circles under my eyes, all the needle holes on the top of my hands. I’m sure I must have looked a mess. I haven’t looked in the mirror since Adam left me.
“I’ve been better,” I said, not sure how much he knew and not sure how much I wanted to tell him.
“I would love to get you out of here Natalie, soon. What do you say? How about you fake sanity for a few days and once they release you I’ll take you to my place in the city for some recuperation?” he offered. It did sound appealing since I had no reason to go back to my old house anymore and I did not want to be constantly monitored by my parents in their new house. It was the best offer I had right now. He didn’t live with a parent, which was definitely a plus. I could not handle any rules now and what I could gather from this devil man was that he wasn’t into rules either. He was staring at me now, watching for a reaction on my blank face. I better say something soon before he thinks I really am too crazy. I smiled. He smiled back at me, relieved.
“Excellent. Here is my number. Call me as soon as they say you can go. They’ll probably call your parents as well, so I’d like to be here before them. You can call them when you’re settled and tell them your decision,” he ordered, taking control of the situation. I liked that.
“Thank you, but Hayden if you change your mind I’ll completely understand. Apparently I can be unpredictable and a little unstable. I may not make the best roommate,” I said laughing.
“I am looking forward to it. I’ll make up a bed for you in my study. You’ll have all the privacy you need,” he said reassuring me.
“I don’t want to kick you out of your study ,” I said. I really didn’t want to be an inconvenience to him.
“I can read in my room, trust me. Please don’t worry about such silly things. I want you with me. You don’t have to
“Please don’t go!” I cried, barley able to speak, my voice cracking, as the lump in my throat grew, making it hard for me to breathe. He leaned over and kissed me again.
“Be strong. Breathe,” he ordered as he faded in front of me.
“NO!” I shouted, crying hysterically. The nurses rushed in and held me down while one of them injected me. I crashed down on the bed unable to close my eyes, feeling the room spin, I sunk deeper and deeper into the abyss, the emptiness that took over me was beyond any pain I had ever felt. The despair was intolerable. The pain was excruciating. I faded into the drug induced nothingness.
9. LETTING GO
The psychiatrist decided to delay my release, as my condition seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. I couldn’t pick myself up out of this depression. I was having trouble talking. I couldn’t eat or sleep without assistance. The doctors feared I might become too dependent on the medication but they didn’t know what else to do with me. My psychiatrist was confused by my sudden turn. I wasn’t allowed visitors anymore. My mother was only allowed a short amount of time with me and it had to be supervised by a counselor. I think they thought my parents may be the cause for my condition.
I was lying there on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep again when I heard a quite knock on my door. It slowly opened and closed, not making a sound. I saw someone standing in the shadows. My heart leaped when I thought it might be Adam. Hayden appeared in front of me.
“Hi,” he said, casually like he always sneaks into my hospital room in the middle of the night.
“Hi, if I knew company was coming I may have showered and dressed,” I tried to smile.
“You look and smell wonderful,” he joked.
“So seriously, how have you been?” he asked looking me over, taking in my pale skin, the dark circles under my eyes, all the needle holes on the top of my hands. I’m sure I must have looked a mess. I haven’t looked in the mirror since Adam left me.
“I’ve been better,” I said, not sure how much he knew and not sure how much I wanted to tell him.
“I would love to get you out of here Natalie, soon. What do you say? How about you fake sanity for a few days and once they release you I’ll take you to my place in the city for some recuperation?” he offered. It did sound appealing since I had no reason to go back to my old house anymore and I did not want to be constantly monitored by my parents in their new house. It was the best offer I had right now. He didn’t live with a parent, which was definitely a plus. I could not handle any rules now and what I could gather from this devil man was that he wasn’t into rules either. He was staring at me now, watching for a reaction on my blank face. I better say something soon before he thinks I really am too crazy. I smiled. He smiled back at me, relieved.
“Excellent. Here is my number. Call me as soon as they say you can go. They’ll probably call your parents as well, so I’d like to be here before them. You can call them when you’re settled and tell them your decision,” he ordered, taking control of the situation. I liked that.
“Thank you, but Hayden if you change your mind I’ll completely understand. Apparently I can be unpredictable and a little unstable. I may not make the best roommate,” I said laughing.
“I am looking forward to it. I’ll make up a bed for you in my study. You’ll have all the privacy you need,” he said reassuring me.
“I don’t want to kick you out of your study ,” I said. I really didn’t want to be an inconvenience to him.
“I can read in my room, trust me. Please don’t worry about such silly things. I want you with me. You don’t have to
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