In the Nick of Time by Tiana Laveen Page B

didn’t seem to have an addiction to it, not in the way many would think, it wasn’t really that big of a deal for me to leave it alone.” He took a deep breath. “I know you want an explanation for all of this, you want answers…but…I don’t have them, John. I just don’t have them.” He shook his head. “And I mean, Captain. I don’t have the right to call you by your first name anymore, like you’d tell me to do when we were alone, behind closed doors.”
    “Nick, you bastard…” The guy slammed his fist onto his desk. His lips twisted as if he were in pain. “I wish I could promise you that your job would be here, but I can’t. That depends on the board and you. What you did do at least was save your ass from getting fired.”
    Nick nodded in agreement.
    “This way,” Captain O’Sullivan leaned back in his seat and twirled in his chair, ever so slowly, “After you finish rehabilitation, the board can look at cha and we can all make a decision about it. I’m glad you came to me and you didn’t come up with a dirty test; that would have ruined everything. I don’t want that for you. You’ve worked too damn hard to get where you’re at.”
    “…I know. I knew I had to do something before it was too late. I would eventually get caught; people like me always do sooner or later. I’m not one of these guys out here thinking I’m invincible, that it would never catch up. I knew better…seen it happen too many times. In this process, I’m trying to save my job, you know? It means everything to me, Captain.”
    “Yeah… I know, Nick. I know.”
    “But I’m risking my job, too, because now everyone will know.” Another nasty dose of disgrace covered his pounding heart like tar. “And they might not trust me anymore. They might not give me the good calls, thinking I’m too much of a wuss to handle it, that I’ll go back to using because I’m just a big baby, right? Can’t handle the pressure.” His mind began to play cruel, sadistic tricks on him. For a moment, he had the urge to stand to his feet and bail, hightail it right out of there…but it was too late, far too late. He’d expired like old, rotten milk many lifetimes ago…
    “Is that what you think, Nick? You think everyone is gonna think you’re a coward? You are a person who seems to O.D. on adrenaline. Pretty wrong choice of words, considering why your ass is in my office right now. Anyway, you are a damn daredevil—no one would be afraid to put you anywhere! If somebody is waving a goddamn bomb around, threatening to blow the place up, you’d walk in like, ‘Let’s party, fucker!’”
    Nick burst out laughing. Damn that felt good…
    “It’s true!” His boss grinned real big. “Nobody in this place is going to think that of you, okay? That you’re some wimp—so just put that to rest. You’re brave. Coming to me is brave.” He jammed his fat finger into his proud, poked out chest. “Calling the right people and saying, ‘Hey, I got this problem and need help to fix it.’ It’s brave, damn it! I hate cha for this, and respect you, too. I wish you believed you could have come to me sooner though. I don’t know how long you’ll be gone, if you’re even coming back, and I don’t know how your recovery will go, but I can tell you this much: you’re gonna be missed, Nick. You’re gonna be missed a whole lot.”
    Neither man said anything for a quite some time.
    “Nick…please call me or send an email from time to time if they let you. I would like to know how you’re doing while you’re away, okay? The more I know, the better.”
    He nodded as he got to his feet.
    “I’ll make sure of it.” His hands felt empty without his hat. He’d never risen from that man’s desk without his hat in his grip, and feeling a sense of honor. But in that moment, he’d stood vulnerable, naked, and afraid. Yes, afraid…
    Scared out of his goddamn mind.
    “Can you do me a favor, boss? I want you to do something for me,