of whiskey she’d taken a drink from earlier. He opened it again and took a nice long swig, and then another, and another—the first time he’d allowed himself to drink like this or have any kind of fucking pity party since he’d returned from the mission with Caleb.
But now Caleb was really starting to remember the important shit and all bets were off. He grabbed the notebook and flipped through the pages, taking his time studying Caleb’s sketches. Staring at the faces of the two men who’d repeatedly ordered the torture—the two men they’d been sent to kill.
Kell, another member of his Delta team—and Reid’s best friend—had taken it upon himself to recon them … and hadn’t been heard from in three months. This was getting out of control faster than Mace was ready for. But hell, no one promised it would be on his time line.
He turned the pages until he got to the one of Vivi’s face. Vivi smiling. Vivi serious, hunched over a computer … Vivi sleeping, hair spread across the pillows.
The guilt welled up inside of him again as he thought of her, and of Paige. Closed his eyes andthought about her tied up and at his mercy and opened them and took another drink.
Paige
.
What the fuck had he been thinking, taking advantage of her like that? It’s not that he hadn’t wanted her, that he didn’t want more. He knew, from the second he saw her take down Big Harvey, that he could love her. That he would. And that it would be the most dangerous thing he could ever do.
He also knew that he had to push her away before they got any closer. If he told her the truth, she would run. There was no way she could handle this shit. He could barely handle it himself and he’d lived it.
She’d have her truth, she would leave and he’d be alone again. Wouldn’t have to worry about keeping his own secrets from her fucking magic hands.
He kept the bottle pressed tightly to his side, unlocked the door and checked in with Caleb. Cael, who had a shit-eating grin on his face and called, “I’ll close up if you’re still busy.”
Asshole
.
Mace climbed the staircase, and the farther he got from the pounding music, the faster his own thoughts came rushing back to him.
He fought an urge to search his friend’s room to see if he’d drawn anything else but resisted, turning the knob to his own room instead. He’d taken over the master suite after his grandparents died—it had a bedroom, a small side room and its own big bathroom. Lots of space for a guy used to living out of a bag.
The door to the master bathroom was closed and he heard water running. Under different circumstances, he’d be in there with her, but not tonight.And so he went into the guest bath and washed up and met her as she came out of his bathroom, wearing his T-shirt and a pair of his sweats, and dammit, he liked her in his clothing.
The first thing she did was look at his face and the bottle of whiskey he still clutched. He took a defiant swig and then another before he sat on the edge of his bed, wishing he could pass out before they had this conversation.
“You’re not okay, Mace, so don’t try to pretend with me,” she said simply. Not unkindly, and it was all he could do not to tie her to his bed and not keep there until neither of them could see or walk. But that would be easy … and for him, easy was never the best option. Easy made him suspicious, and he was too hardheaded to change now.
“Can’t tell you, Paige. I can’t, and I want to … need to. Fuck.” His voice rougher than it had been before.
“I’m good at keeping secrets, Mace,” she whispered.
Yeah, usually so was he. But he wanted to unburden himself so badly. How was that fair to her, though? She already had so many burdens of her own to bear.
And still, she wanted to know everything.
“Those pictures … the two men Caleb drew over and over …”
“You know them too.”
“Yeah, I know them.” He laughed softly, even though there was
But now Caleb was really starting to remember the important shit and all bets were off. He grabbed the notebook and flipped through the pages, taking his time studying Caleb’s sketches. Staring at the faces of the two men who’d repeatedly ordered the torture—the two men they’d been sent to kill.
Kell, another member of his Delta team—and Reid’s best friend—had taken it upon himself to recon them … and hadn’t been heard from in three months. This was getting out of control faster than Mace was ready for. But hell, no one promised it would be on his time line.
He turned the pages until he got to the one of Vivi’s face. Vivi smiling. Vivi serious, hunched over a computer … Vivi sleeping, hair spread across the pillows.
The guilt welled up inside of him again as he thought of her, and of Paige. Closed his eyes andthought about her tied up and at his mercy and opened them and took another drink.
Paige
.
What the fuck had he been thinking, taking advantage of her like that? It’s not that he hadn’t wanted her, that he didn’t want more. He knew, from the second he saw her take down Big Harvey, that he could love her. That he would. And that it would be the most dangerous thing he could ever do.
He also knew that he had to push her away before they got any closer. If he told her the truth, she would run. There was no way she could handle this shit. He could barely handle it himself and he’d lived it.
She’d have her truth, she would leave and he’d be alone again. Wouldn’t have to worry about keeping his own secrets from her fucking magic hands.
He kept the bottle pressed tightly to his side, unlocked the door and checked in with Caleb. Cael, who had a shit-eating grin on his face and called, “I’ll close up if you’re still busy.”
Asshole
.
Mace climbed the staircase, and the farther he got from the pounding music, the faster his own thoughts came rushing back to him.
He fought an urge to search his friend’s room to see if he’d drawn anything else but resisted, turning the knob to his own room instead. He’d taken over the master suite after his grandparents died—it had a bedroom, a small side room and its own big bathroom. Lots of space for a guy used to living out of a bag.
The door to the master bathroom was closed and he heard water running. Under different circumstances, he’d be in there with her, but not tonight.And so he went into the guest bath and washed up and met her as she came out of his bathroom, wearing his T-shirt and a pair of his sweats, and dammit, he liked her in his clothing.
The first thing she did was look at his face and the bottle of whiskey he still clutched. He took a defiant swig and then another before he sat on the edge of his bed, wishing he could pass out before they had this conversation.
“You’re not okay, Mace, so don’t try to pretend with me,” she said simply. Not unkindly, and it was all he could do not to tie her to his bed and not keep there until neither of them could see or walk. But that would be easy … and for him, easy was never the best option. Easy made him suspicious, and he was too hardheaded to change now.
“Can’t tell you, Paige. I can’t, and I want to … need to. Fuck.” His voice rougher than it had been before.
“I’m good at keeping secrets, Mace,” she whispered.
Yeah, usually so was he. But he wanted to unburden himself so badly. How was that fair to her, though? She already had so many burdens of her own to bear.
And still, she wanted to know everything.
“Those pictures … the two men Caleb drew over and over …”
“You know them too.”
“Yeah, I know them.” He laughed softly, even though there was
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