In My Head by S.L. Schiefer

my mom’s back. Giving her the support she clearly needs to go forth with this conversation. If it’s this hard for her to even begin, I’m not sure I really want to know what this has to do with.
    “Mom . . . listen . . .” She cuts me off though.
    “No, Lyla. You’ll sit there and you’ll listen to me. This is not something I ever thought I would have to tell you. So you’ll let me get it out then you can speak.” My mom never raises her voice, or talks to me the way she just did. So, being the good child I am, I zip my lips shut with my fingers and metaphorically throw away the key.
    Ben and my dad chuckle at my antics. They really shouldn’t be surprised.
    “Baby, I’m so sorry you have to find this out this way.” She stops and sucks in a deep breath. “After your father and I got married, we tried for so long to have kids. But we were never able to. Even after three failed In Vitro attempts we didn’t give up hope. We started looking into adoption through the state. We didn’t want a small agency, where teen moms were supposed to just hand pick their ideal family for their child. I have a friend who worked in the office in Columbus, and I put out word to her. And after what seemed like way too long, she finally called me. Telling me they were given this angelic, sweet baby girl.
    “I knew with this phone call that you were it. I didn’t even need to meet you or hold you to know that you were the baby that was meant to be ours. So we jumped into our cars and met my friend. The process to adopt would take a while, but we were already licensed to foster so we were able to take you home right away. When I first held you in my arms, you were such a tiny little thing. You barely ever cried, you just sat in my arms gazing up at me. Like you knew right in your heart that I was your momma.”
    Tears have filled my eyes and as they slide down my cheeks, I don’t even move to wipe them away. I never in a million years thought that this would be the thing that my parents needed to tell me. I never felt there was something they weren’t telling me, something that they kept locked up tight.
    “All of that brings me to why I was forced to tell you this today. My friend still works for the same office, and she called me this morning after I got back home from picking up the kids. She said that your biological father came in and talked to her a couple days ago. She knew exactly who he was, remembered him and your mom coming in so many years ago. It seems that he’s cleaning himself up. Going through some sort of twelve step program, and one of the things he needs to do is make peace with his past.” She finally looks at me.
    “I never would have told you this. I didn’t feel it was necessary, you are our daughter. I wanted to protect you from the hurt it would have surely caused. But, your biological father, I know he needs this. He needs to know you’re okay. So he can move on with his life.”
    My dad finally speaks. “Lyla, if you want to meet him all you have to do is say the word. We’ll get you the information you need and you can do with it what you will. But I want you to know that I don’t regret keeping this from you. Ever since we brought you home, you have belonged to us. We provided you with the life you deserved. We loved you with all our hearts and souls from day one. This isn’t a competition, but just remember that he probably isn’t the person you think he is.”
    “Why don’t we let Lyla make that decision for herself. She’s stronger than you give her credit for. Get the information she needs, so that way she has it if she decides to meet him. It’s up to her to feel him out and see what kind of person he is. Not you guys. And I don’t agree with your decision to keep this from her at all. I think it was shitty of you guys, I respect the hell out of you guys, but you should have been honest with her long ago.” Ben stands up from the couch and leaves the living room, going out to