I'm Your Man by Timothy James Beck

laughed but said nothing as I went to the kitchen and came back with the rest of the wine. I refilled our glasses, and Dexter, disgusted that my trip had netted him nothing, jumped from Gretchen’s lap and ran to the back of the apartment.
    â€œAnyway,” I went on, “once Daniel knew it was something I wanted, we started talking more seriously about it. Although our relationship was exclusive, we knew things can happen. Circumstances can change. Since we were both healthy and had just gotten negative HIV tests, we went together to a lab and put—What did you call them? Our swimmers?—on ice. A reserve for the future, if we ever decided to go for it. Somewhere along the way, Daniel changed his mind. But my point is, I have a perfectly healthy, viable sample in storage.”
    Gretchen’s expression had gradually brightened with joy, and she said, “Would you be willing to let me have it?”
    â€œI can’t give you an answer right now,” I said. “You said you’d want the father to be involved. I’d want that, too. I’m not just talking about birthdays and holidays. I mean I’d expect to play an active role in raising a child. You and I would have to agree on what that means.”
    â€œWe can talk about everything, Blaine. Any concerns you have. We can draw up legal documents if you need them to feel like you’re making the right decision. But please promise me you’ll consider it!”
    â€œIf I wasn’t considering it, I wouldn’t have told you about my sample,” I said. “But you just sprung it on me. I need some time to think about it before I give you an answer.”
    â€œJust let me know when you’ve decided, okay? Say maybe by tomorrow?” We both laughed.
    â€œI’ll see what I can do,” I assured her.
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    I was able to think about little else over the weekend. I felt as if Gretchen was throwing me a lifeline. My instincts told me to grab it, but it seemed like a decision that shouldn’t be made on impulse. Especially when I was already dealing with other changes: the end of my relationship, a shift in my career, and the possibility of moving.
    Violet helped alleviate some of that anxiety when I met her for dinner Sunday night, proving not to be a hard sell about changing jobs. I wanted to think that she couldn’t resist the allure of working for me, but her fear of remaining behind with Evelyn, the Gargoyle of Breslin Evans, and her gaggle of goons, had probably cinched the deal. I privately decided that I was going to build a bonus plan into her compensation package. She was worth every dollar we would spend on her.
    She also agreed to do a background check on Gavin. If I decided to hire him, she assured me that she could help bring him up to speed on my needs. And between the two of them, they could make my search for an apartment easier if I decided to move.
    If Gretchen and I had a baby, I’d need a bigger place. After I went home, I entered “artificial insemination” into my computer’s search engine and maneuvered my way through lesbian stories of bringing up baby. Until Debi and Dora’s detailed account of getting pregnant, including pictures, made me back away from the computer and go to bed.
    A few nights later, the phone was ringing when I got home from the gym. I managed to evade Dexter’s best efforts to trip me, grabbing it before the machine could.
    â€œHey, it’s Adam. You sound breathless. Did I interrupt something steamy that would require full and immediate disclosure?”
    â€œI did just leave the steam room at bodyWorks. All your boyfriends were asking where my big, dumb jock friend is,” I joked. Although Adam was a member of my gym and worked out there whenever he was in the city, neither of us, to my knowledge, had ever tricked with anyone from there.
    â€œDamn. If you’d only known I was flying in this afternoon, you could have