decorators.… Don’t be silly, dear, I
am
having fun.” She supposed she could have called to tell him the minute she found out about the baby but it had slipped her mind. Well, tonight would be time enough. Of course he’d understand that soon they would have to stop going to bed together. Soon, quite soon. She put down the phone and then picked it up again. She’d phone Miss Varney, her saleslady at Mainbocher, and make an appointment for tomorrow. No … for this afternoon. Why wait?
“Not nurse
my son
? No, darling, I couldn’t possibly have said that.”
“Lily, darling, come on, don’t you remember? I distinctly heard you telling Minnie that all the stuff about antibodies in mother’s milk was some American fad and fresh air and a good nanny were what counted.”
“Perhaps. I’m sure you’re right. But what does it matter since I’ve changed my mind? Where is that nurse with my son? She should have been here five minutes ago. Zachary, could you please go and find her? I’m terrified the hospital and staff might give him a bottle of formula for their own convenience … they hate mothers who nurse. It makes more work for them.”
While Zachary roamed the corridors of
Doctors’
Hospital looking for a nurse, any nurse, Lily fretted impatiently in her bed. Tobias had been born three days before, an easy birth, and as soon as she had seen him, with his little pointed cap of blond curls, his fat cheeks and perfect body, she realized that she had never loved before. Not her parents, not ballet, not Zachary, not herself. The last thing she had expected was to be taken by surprise by a wave of maternal emotion but she had spent the entire day after the birth weeping because her son was not by her side but in the nursery with the other babies. He
was
her, he was
part of her body
, how could they take him away as if he didn’t belong to her? It was simply too late to arrange for “rooming-in,” keeping the baby in her own room in a little crib, her doctor explained. Every other mother in the hospital it seemed had opted for rooming-in and they didn’t have the necessary equipment for half of them. If only she’d asked for it a few months ago, he had said, as if, a few months ago, she could possibly have
known
her baby would be Tobias?
Of
course
she’d had a boy. All that nonsense that people talk about not caring about the sex of a child so long as it’s healthy! Everyone knew in the heart of hearts that the first child should be a boy. Cavemen knew it and so had all humans since then.
“Here he is!” Zachary said, pushing open the door for the nurse, “and he sounds hungry. I tracked him down by the noise.”
“He needs to cry, it’s good for his lungs,” Lily said, sounding as expert as her mother before her, holding her arms out greedily.
“Shall I leave you and Father alone with the baby?” the nurse asked.
“I don’t need you now, thank you, nurse. Zachary, darling, would you mind? I’m rather new at this … I think I’d like a little privacy. Come back in, oh, an hour or so. He does enjoy taking his time.”
“You’re sure?” Zachary tried not to sound as deeply disappointed as he felt. “Won’t you need anything?” He looked at her lovingly, propped up on half a dozen pillows, their silk cases thickly encrusted with fine old lace, as were the sheets and coverlet she had brought from home. Lily had never looked so angelic as she did at this minute with her hair spread over her shoulders. At her ears were the enormous sapphires set in diamonds he had just given her from Van Cleef and Arpels—sapphires for a boy. The box that had contained the necklace and the bracelets that completed the parure lay open on the table beside her and the jewels themselves were heaped near the lamp, captured dreams of a midsummer’s night.
“If I do, darling, there’s a perfectly good bell right here on the bed table and I’ll ring it, I promise. Now go, both of you, before my son
am
having fun.” She supposed she could have called to tell him the minute she found out about the baby but it had slipped her mind. Well, tonight would be time enough. Of course he’d understand that soon they would have to stop going to bed together. Soon, quite soon. She put down the phone and then picked it up again. She’d phone Miss Varney, her saleslady at Mainbocher, and make an appointment for tomorrow. No … for this afternoon. Why wait?
“Not nurse
my son
? No, darling, I couldn’t possibly have said that.”
“Lily, darling, come on, don’t you remember? I distinctly heard you telling Minnie that all the stuff about antibodies in mother’s milk was some American fad and fresh air and a good nanny were what counted.”
“Perhaps. I’m sure you’re right. But what does it matter since I’ve changed my mind? Where is that nurse with my son? She should have been here five minutes ago. Zachary, could you please go and find her? I’m terrified the hospital and staff might give him a bottle of formula for their own convenience … they hate mothers who nurse. It makes more work for them.”
While Zachary roamed the corridors of
Doctors’
Hospital looking for a nurse, any nurse, Lily fretted impatiently in her bed. Tobias had been born three days before, an easy birth, and as soon as she had seen him, with his little pointed cap of blond curls, his fat cheeks and perfect body, she realized that she had never loved before. Not her parents, not ballet, not Zachary, not herself. The last thing she had expected was to be taken by surprise by a wave of maternal emotion but she had spent the entire day after the birth weeping because her son was not by her side but in the nursery with the other babies. He
was
her, he was
part of her body
, how could they take him away as if he didn’t belong to her? It was simply too late to arrange for “rooming-in,” keeping the baby in her own room in a little crib, her doctor explained. Every other mother in the hospital it seemed had opted for rooming-in and they didn’t have the necessary equipment for half of them. If only she’d asked for it a few months ago, he had said, as if, a few months ago, she could possibly have
known
her baby would be Tobias?
Of
course
she’d had a boy. All that nonsense that people talk about not caring about the sex of a child so long as it’s healthy! Everyone knew in the heart of hearts that the first child should be a boy. Cavemen knew it and so had all humans since then.
“Here he is!” Zachary said, pushing open the door for the nurse, “and he sounds hungry. I tracked him down by the noise.”
“He needs to cry, it’s good for his lungs,” Lily said, sounding as expert as her mother before her, holding her arms out greedily.
“Shall I leave you and Father alone with the baby?” the nurse asked.
“I don’t need you now, thank you, nurse. Zachary, darling, would you mind? I’m rather new at this … I think I’d like a little privacy. Come back in, oh, an hour or so. He does enjoy taking his time.”
“You’re sure?” Zachary tried not to sound as deeply disappointed as he felt. “Won’t you need anything?” He looked at her lovingly, propped up on half a dozen pillows, their silk cases thickly encrusted with fine old lace, as were the sheets and coverlet she had brought from home. Lily had never looked so angelic as she did at this minute with her hair spread over her shoulders. At her ears were the enormous sapphires set in diamonds he had just given her from Van Cleef and Arpels—sapphires for a boy. The box that had contained the necklace and the bracelets that completed the parure lay open on the table beside her and the jewels themselves were heaped near the lamp, captured dreams of a midsummer’s night.
“If I do, darling, there’s a perfectly good bell right here on the bed table and I’ll ring it, I promise. Now go, both of you, before my son
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