If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) by C.A. Johnson Page A

and I quote, ‘get this girl out of me’ end quote.”
    Barrington
laughed out loud totally able to envision Perri saying that.
    When
Journey was able to stop laughing, she said, “Seriously, man, our girl did
great. You’d have been proud of her, Barrington. You know Perri for all her
talk, she didn’t complain once during the labor.”
    “No?”
Now that Barrington had a hard time believing, especially after hearing his
mother’s labor stories.
    “Un-hun.
She got her release by squeezing the living daylights out of my hand.”
    Barrington
chuckled.
    “Yeah,
man; I’m telling you Perri had my hand numb.” She laughed, too. “I’ll tell you
what though; as excited as she was no one would have known Perri was going through
the whole birthing process as a single mom.” Journey smiled. “She loved Imani
from the moment she knew she was carrying her.”
    Barrington
nodded, feeling a wave of envy that Journey got to see it all and jealousy
because he knew it should have been him in that labor room coaching Perri
through every step in order to get their precious daughter here for both of
them to share and enjoy the beauty and joy her life no doubt would bring to
each of them. It should have been his hand Perri squeezed until it was numb.
Forcing himself to remember that now he could create some beautiful memories of
his own where his daughter was concerned, he swallowed his pride.
    “I
feel you.” Barrington grew silent in thought. “If I’d only known . . .” he said
to no one in particular.
    “And
if you had, Barrington. Would things really be so different now?”
    “I’d
like to think so, Journey.”
    “But
you don’t know for sure do you, Barrington?”
    “I
guess not,” he answered honestly.
    “Everything
happens for a reason.” Journey shrugged. “Maybe the real reason that brought
you out to the mall today is the same reason that brought Perri here. Because
it’s finally time for the two of you to come on one accord where Imani is
concerned and raise your daughter together; even if it is in separate homes.”
    “Maybe,”
was all Barrington offered as he compared this particular Perri to the former
one he’d previously known; it blew his mind how she’d changed in a major way.
“My baby’s different now,” he stated, unsure of how to approach her.
    “You’re
always going to see Perri as yours, aren’t you?”
    “What
do you think?”
    “That
you two need to stop being so silly and have a serious one-on-one
conversation.”
    “You
know your girl’s too complicated to agree to a simple conversation with me.”
    “I
won’t touch that one.” Journey raised her hands. “Why do you say she’s
different now?”
    “You
know what I mean, Journey. Before Perri would always pout if she didn’t get her
way, but now . . .” he stopped not sure how to explain it.
    “What
about now?” Journey encouraged Barrington to finish his thoughts.
    He
shrugged. “She’s seasoned now. More refined, I think is what I’m saying.” He
thought a moment longer. “Or maybe I’m trying to say she’s too damn guarded.
Oh, hell, I don’t know how to describe her now. She’s just different, you know.”
    Journey
laughed. “Yeah, the Lord will do that for you.”
    “The
Lord?” he repeated robotically. Her comment sank in and his mouth fell open.
“You mean Perri’s . . . she’s religious now?”
    Laughing,
Journey corrected, “No, not religious. Perri’s saved; about six months now. But
that’s her testimony so I’ll let her tell it.”
    “Wow,”
Barrington said. “A lot has happened since I last saw her then.” He wasn’t sure
how he felt about Perri being a ‘church girl’ now. But he supposed as far as
her being the mother of his only child, having Jesus was a good thing. It just
wasn’t for him. Not that he couldn’t use some Jesus; according to his mother
everyone needed him and that was the reason why folks have an empty void that
can’t be filled unless it’s Jesus who