Identical by Ellen Hopkins Page B

apparently the chief
    of a small tribe of geeks. When
    I draw my glare even with his eyes,
    he turns his back to me, lowers
    his voice, and says something
    to his not-so-braves that makes
    them all laugh out loud.
    Something inside me snaps,
    almost audibly. I slam
    my locker, take dead aim at
    the geeklets’ chieftain. Straight
    up in his face, “Something funny?”
    His eyes dart back and forth
    among his stick figure friends.
    But no one comes to the rescue.
    Uh. No. Not really. Then he tries
    to draw strength from numbers.
    We were just talking about girls
    and what they do for attention.
    He pulls himself up as tall as he
    possibly can. What do you do?
    If his buddies think about
    laughing, the look on my face
    must make them think twice.
    Ice-cold anger pulses in my veins.
    I can feel it in my temples. And
    something else, too. Something
    brand-new. “Anything I do is no
    business of yours, you little shit.
    But if you want my attention,
    here it is.” That something new—
    courage—brings my palms flat
    against his shoulders. Hard.

Hard Enough
    To make him stumble backward,
    bump his head against a post.
    I’ll probably get in real trouble
    for this, but at the moment I couldn’t
    care less. “Enough attention?”
    This time his friends do laugh.
    Shaun’s face turns the color
    of strawberry jam. What the fuck
    is your problem? Not my fault
    you’re a trashy little skank.
    Suddenly a hand is at my elbow
    and a voice falls into my ear.
    C’mon. This is beneath you. Ian!
    He turns on his brother. You shut
    your mouth and keep it that way.
    Ian puts his arm around my
    shoulder, guides me away from
    the dissolving drama. Dueling
    emotions take aim inside me.
    Relief. Hurt. Happiness. Fury.
    We turn a corner and at the far
    end of the building, few eyes
    to see, Ian pulls me into his chest.
    My eyes sting and my legs go weak
    and I let myself gather his strength.
    The first bell rings and I start
    to pull away, but his arms grip
    tighter. Tell me what happened.
    He looks down into my tear-
    blurred eyes, and next thing
    I know we’re kissing. Really,
    truly kissing, like it’s from the heart
    and we really mean it and there’s no
    one else, never will be. Finally I have
    to come up for air. “I love you.”

It Just Slipped
    Out of my mouth, and the strange
    thing is, I really mean it. But still,
    I feel all jumbled up inside,
    like someone put my brain in
    a blender, turned it to “crush.”
    Ian’s eyes tell me he feels the same
    way. I love you, too, you know I do.
    But you always have me walking
    on eggshells. Oh, if you would just
    let me love you the way I want to…
    Fire. Ice. Honey. Salt. Eiderdown.
    Iron. Every fiber of me twitches
    confusion. I love him, and he loves
    me. So, then, “Why did you tell
    your brother that I sleep around?”
    He draws back, but only a little,
    only enough to look deep into
    my eyes, show me the sudden
    anger in his. I never said any such
    thing. Did he tell you I told him that?
    “He said he heard you say I’m
    into other guys. Why would
    you say that? And who did you
    say it to?” Before he can craft
    an answer, the second bell rings.

Saved by the Bell
    The hallways
flood with bodies,
faces, voices, hustling
here and there. Locked
together, despite the inner
wedge, Ian and I draw a few
stares. Definitely not the right
time to continue such an intense
conversation. Can we talk about it
later? asks Ian, knowing I have little
choice but to respond positively. He walks
me to class, right arm protectively around my
waist. Despite smarting at the wound of his careless
words, I decide I like how I feel, joined to him in such
an overt way. Especially when we turn the corner and
come face-to-face
with Madison
and, just over
there, Shaun.

I’m Generally Not Big
    On smirking. But noticing
    how the smiles drop from both
    Shaun’s and Madison’s faces,
    I can’t seem to
    help
    it. Booyah! Major smirk.
    It gets better. Madison is no
    more than two feet away
    when Ian