apparently the chief
of a small tribe of geeks. When
I draw my glare even with his eyes,
he turns his back to me, lowers
his voice, and says something
to his not-so-braves that makes
them all laugh out loud.
Something inside me snaps,
almost audibly. I slam
my locker, take dead aim at
the geeklets’ chieftain. Straight
up in his face, “Something funny?”
His eyes dart back and forth
among his stick figure friends.
But no one comes to the rescue.
Uh. No. Not really. Then he tries
to draw strength from numbers.
We were just talking about girls
and what they do for attention.
He pulls himself up as tall as he
possibly can. What do you do?
If his buddies think about
laughing, the look on my face
must make them think twice.
Ice-cold anger pulses in my veins.
I can feel it in my temples. And
something else, too. Something
brand-new. “Anything I do is no
business of yours, you little shit.
But if you want my attention,
here it is.” That something new—
courage—brings my palms flat
against his shoulders. Hard.
Hard Enough
To make him stumble backward,
bump his head against a post.
I’ll probably get in real trouble
for this, but at the moment I couldn’t
care less. “Enough attention?”
This time his friends do laugh.
Shaun’s face turns the color
of strawberry jam. What the fuck
is your problem? Not my fault
you’re a trashy little skank.
Suddenly a hand is at my elbow
and a voice falls into my ear.
C’mon. This is beneath you. Ian!
He turns on his brother. You shut
your mouth and keep it that way.
Ian puts his arm around my
shoulder, guides me away from
the dissolving drama. Dueling
emotions take aim inside me.
Relief. Hurt. Happiness. Fury.
We turn a corner and at the far
end of the building, few eyes
to see, Ian pulls me into his chest.
My eyes sting and my legs go weak
and I let myself gather his strength.
The first bell rings and I start
to pull away, but his arms grip
tighter. Tell me what happened.
He looks down into my tear-
blurred eyes, and next thing
I know we’re kissing. Really,
truly kissing, like it’s from the heart
and we really mean it and there’s no
one else, never will be. Finally I have
to come up for air. “I love you.”
It Just Slipped
Out of my mouth, and the strange
thing is, I really mean it. But still,
I feel all jumbled up inside,
like someone put my brain in
a blender, turned it to “crush.”
Ian’s eyes tell me he feels the same
way. I love you, too, you know I do.
But you always have me walking
on eggshells. Oh, if you would just
let me love you the way I want to…
Fire. Ice. Honey. Salt. Eiderdown.
Iron. Every fiber of me twitches
confusion. I love him, and he loves
me. So, then, “Why did you tell
your brother that I sleep around?”
He draws back, but only a little,
only enough to look deep into
my eyes, show me the sudden
anger in his. I never said any such
thing. Did he tell you I told him that?
“He said he heard you say I’m
into other guys. Why would
you say that? And who did you
say it to?” Before he can craft
an answer, the second bell rings.
Saved by the Bell
The hallways
flood with bodies,
faces, voices, hustling
here and there. Locked
together, despite the inner
wedge, Ian and I draw a few
stares. Definitely not the right
time to continue such an intense
conversation. Can we talk about it
later? asks Ian, knowing I have little
choice but to respond positively. He walks
me to class, right arm protectively around my
waist. Despite smarting at the wound of his careless
words, I decide I like how I feel, joined to him in such
an overt way. Especially when we turn the corner and
come face-to-face
with Madison
and, just over
there, Shaun.
I’m Generally Not Big
On smirking. But noticing
how the smiles drop from both
Shaun’s and Madison’s faces,
I can’t seem to
help
it. Booyah! Major smirk.
It gets better. Madison is no
more than two feet away
when Ian
of a small tribe of geeks. When
I draw my glare even with his eyes,
he turns his back to me, lowers
his voice, and says something
to his not-so-braves that makes
them all laugh out loud.
Something inside me snaps,
almost audibly. I slam
my locker, take dead aim at
the geeklets’ chieftain. Straight
up in his face, “Something funny?”
His eyes dart back and forth
among his stick figure friends.
But no one comes to the rescue.
Uh. No. Not really. Then he tries
to draw strength from numbers.
We were just talking about girls
and what they do for attention.
He pulls himself up as tall as he
possibly can. What do you do?
If his buddies think about
laughing, the look on my face
must make them think twice.
Ice-cold anger pulses in my veins.
I can feel it in my temples. And
something else, too. Something
brand-new. “Anything I do is no
business of yours, you little shit.
But if you want my attention,
here it is.” That something new—
courage—brings my palms flat
against his shoulders. Hard.
Hard Enough
To make him stumble backward,
bump his head against a post.
I’ll probably get in real trouble
for this, but at the moment I couldn’t
care less. “Enough attention?”
This time his friends do laugh.
Shaun’s face turns the color
of strawberry jam. What the fuck
is your problem? Not my fault
you’re a trashy little skank.
Suddenly a hand is at my elbow
and a voice falls into my ear.
C’mon. This is beneath you. Ian!
He turns on his brother. You shut
your mouth and keep it that way.
Ian puts his arm around my
shoulder, guides me away from
the dissolving drama. Dueling
emotions take aim inside me.
Relief. Hurt. Happiness. Fury.
We turn a corner and at the far
end of the building, few eyes
to see, Ian pulls me into his chest.
My eyes sting and my legs go weak
and I let myself gather his strength.
The first bell rings and I start
to pull away, but his arms grip
tighter. Tell me what happened.
He looks down into my tear-
blurred eyes, and next thing
I know we’re kissing. Really,
truly kissing, like it’s from the heart
and we really mean it and there’s no
one else, never will be. Finally I have
to come up for air. “I love you.”
It Just Slipped
Out of my mouth, and the strange
thing is, I really mean it. But still,
I feel all jumbled up inside,
like someone put my brain in
a blender, turned it to “crush.”
Ian’s eyes tell me he feels the same
way. I love you, too, you know I do.
But you always have me walking
on eggshells. Oh, if you would just
let me love you the way I want to…
Fire. Ice. Honey. Salt. Eiderdown.
Iron. Every fiber of me twitches
confusion. I love him, and he loves
me. So, then, “Why did you tell
your brother that I sleep around?”
He draws back, but only a little,
only enough to look deep into
my eyes, show me the sudden
anger in his. I never said any such
thing. Did he tell you I told him that?
“He said he heard you say I’m
into other guys. Why would
you say that? And who did you
say it to?” Before he can craft
an answer, the second bell rings.
Saved by the Bell
The hallways
flood with bodies,
faces, voices, hustling
here and there. Locked
together, despite the inner
wedge, Ian and I draw a few
stares. Definitely not the right
time to continue such an intense
conversation. Can we talk about it
later? asks Ian, knowing I have little
choice but to respond positively. He walks
me to class, right arm protectively around my
waist. Despite smarting at the wound of his careless
words, I decide I like how I feel, joined to him in such
an overt way. Especially when we turn the corner and
come face-to-face
with Madison
and, just over
there, Shaun.
I’m Generally Not Big
On smirking. But noticing
how the smiles drop from both
Shaun’s and Madison’s faces,
I can’t seem to
help
it. Booyah! Major smirk.
It gets better. Madison is no
more than two feet away
when Ian
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