If you give this up, I have no need to even acknowledge your existence."
"And if I accept?"
"You don't have it in you. Simultaneously feeling the pain of your subjects isn't even the worst of my tests. If it's too much for you..."
But I wasn't feeling it simultaneously. I was feeling it before they did. Long enough to intervene, if it was ever needed, but I didn't know it until the third time it happened. In Marlee's case it might have helped keep her safe.
I wondered if Vida misspoke, if I misunderstood her, but just thinking it made her expression change the slightest bit.
"It's not simultaneous, is it?" she demanded.
Did she hear that thought? Did it matter?
The afternoon sun came back on like a light, and I stumbled a little from the sudden brightness. The glowing band felt heavy against my wrist, heavier than it had ever been. I started to back away from her.
Vida laughed and put her arm around an oblivious devotee. "Yes, take your time, little girl."
She said something else but I was already heading back outside.
Chapter 27
It wasn't as easy to find Denise. She didn't have a crowd around her, so I had to wade through every group just to check. She wasn't with the car fanatics in the parking lot, or with the self-appointed bartenders in the garden, or with the smokers in the garage, or with the worker bees making sandwiches in the kitchen, not among Vida's entourage in the living room, not in any of the unlocked first floor rooms.
I found her on the second floor balcony, accessed from a TV room that had windows for walls. There was probably a fantastic view of the cove just outside but I wasn't in any mood to enjoy it.
Denise was happily chugging beer from a plastic cup. I pushed myself between two juniors just to get within speaking distance of her.
"Tell me something," I said. "What is worth all this trouble? Why disturb everything by giving people powers and making them klepto hypnotists and lightbulb smashers?"
She laughed triumphantly, tossed the cup into the air, and threw her arms around me. "Love, Hannah! I'm doing it for love."
"Do you know the kind of trouble your stunt caused, what kids like Neil end up doing if you give them that kind of...? He stole from people. He took advantage of me. My friend is torn up over him."
"She'll live. He'll learn. Nothing about the order of things will change once I distribute my gifts and pass on."
"But aren't they gods now because of you?"
Someone handed her another cup and she gulped it down. Ugh, I don't think she even know s where that had been.
"Oh no they're not," Denise said. "They just got my minor gifts. Every god has them. They'll have it all their lives and when they die maybe their grandchildren will inherit them. What you have now, that's different."
A couple dancing behind me got a little too physical, and I was reminded rudely of where I was.
"We're kids. Dumb, lost college kids," I said, loudly, and no one even cared. "You can't choose to give us this much power over anything. We'll screw it up. I can screw up at your job worse than you."
Denise grabbed onto the smooth cylinder that was the railing behind me. Just below us I could see another guy leap into the water. The people on the balcony erupted in cheers, and Denise accepted yet another random drink. This could not be sanitary.
She downed it like it was a tequila shot and blinked at me. "Do you think any of us are worth the power that we were given? I know I'm not. I never was. But I think I know what will make it better this time around, Hannah."
And it was like all the gods were at my ear right then, feeding me the answer, but only because they'd said it before in those words and others.
"We have to want it," I said.
"Right you are. Because I didn't ask for this, and I'm lousy at it. I will do all of creation a favor by bowing out now and leaving my gifts behind to those who want them."
"Vida wants them."
"Except Vida," Denise said. "You just saw my entire life,
"And if I accept?"
"You don't have it in you. Simultaneously feeling the pain of your subjects isn't even the worst of my tests. If it's too much for you..."
But I wasn't feeling it simultaneously. I was feeling it before they did. Long enough to intervene, if it was ever needed, but I didn't know it until the third time it happened. In Marlee's case it might have helped keep her safe.
I wondered if Vida misspoke, if I misunderstood her, but just thinking it made her expression change the slightest bit.
"It's not simultaneous, is it?" she demanded.
Did she hear that thought? Did it matter?
The afternoon sun came back on like a light, and I stumbled a little from the sudden brightness. The glowing band felt heavy against my wrist, heavier than it had ever been. I started to back away from her.
Vida laughed and put her arm around an oblivious devotee. "Yes, take your time, little girl."
She said something else but I was already heading back outside.
Chapter 27
It wasn't as easy to find Denise. She didn't have a crowd around her, so I had to wade through every group just to check. She wasn't with the car fanatics in the parking lot, or with the self-appointed bartenders in the garden, or with the smokers in the garage, or with the worker bees making sandwiches in the kitchen, not among Vida's entourage in the living room, not in any of the unlocked first floor rooms.
I found her on the second floor balcony, accessed from a TV room that had windows for walls. There was probably a fantastic view of the cove just outside but I wasn't in any mood to enjoy it.
Denise was happily chugging beer from a plastic cup. I pushed myself between two juniors just to get within speaking distance of her.
"Tell me something," I said. "What is worth all this trouble? Why disturb everything by giving people powers and making them klepto hypnotists and lightbulb smashers?"
She laughed triumphantly, tossed the cup into the air, and threw her arms around me. "Love, Hannah! I'm doing it for love."
"Do you know the kind of trouble your stunt caused, what kids like Neil end up doing if you give them that kind of...? He stole from people. He took advantage of me. My friend is torn up over him."
"She'll live. He'll learn. Nothing about the order of things will change once I distribute my gifts and pass on."
"But aren't they gods now because of you?"
Someone handed her another cup and she gulped it down. Ugh, I don't think she even know s where that had been.
"Oh no they're not," Denise said. "They just got my minor gifts. Every god has them. They'll have it all their lives and when they die maybe their grandchildren will inherit them. What you have now, that's different."
A couple dancing behind me got a little too physical, and I was reminded rudely of where I was.
"We're kids. Dumb, lost college kids," I said, loudly, and no one even cared. "You can't choose to give us this much power over anything. We'll screw it up. I can screw up at your job worse than you."
Denise grabbed onto the smooth cylinder that was the railing behind me. Just below us I could see another guy leap into the water. The people on the balcony erupted in cheers, and Denise accepted yet another random drink. This could not be sanitary.
She downed it like it was a tequila shot and blinked at me. "Do you think any of us are worth the power that we were given? I know I'm not. I never was. But I think I know what will make it better this time around, Hannah."
And it was like all the gods were at my ear right then, feeding me the answer, but only because they'd said it before in those words and others.
"We have to want it," I said.
"Right you are. Because I didn't ask for this, and I'm lousy at it. I will do all of creation a favor by bowing out now and leaving my gifts behind to those who want them."
"Vida wants them."
"Except Vida," Denise said. "You just saw my entire life,
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