in some stupid wedding.”
“Okay,” Nic said, taking a step back. Yeah, he didn’t understand guys who stayed in the closet, but you never know what someone else is going through. “What did you do?”
“I did what he said. I told Rory I couldn’t be his best man.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Oh man, he was devastated. More so than I even thought he would be, but not for the reasons I thought. He wasn’t mad at me, not really. It was almost like he was…terrified. Like he couldn’t get through it without me supporting him. I don’t know. Maybe I’m projecting.”
“Or maybe he really is scared. Getting married is a big deal.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
An idea suddenly came to Nic, and he grabbed Justice’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go somewhere.”
“What? Where?”
“Somewhere that you’ll feel better. Don’t worry. Just trust me.”
“Okay.”
It was all he said before allowing Nic to pull him through the park. That implicit trust was enough to send Nic’s heart pounding.
* * * *
There was a pervasive silence in the car as Nic drove them out to the marina in Bellevue where his other boat was housed. It was about a half hour drive, so there was a lot of time to kill. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Justice’s nervous hands fiddled with what looked like a beaded necklace. A rosary, maybe? Justice didn’t strike him as the religious type.
“What’s that?” Nic asked with a jerk of his chin towards Justice’s hands.
Justice jumped, startled, as if he’d been caught doing something bad. He looked down at his hands and Nic thought maybe he’d been playing with the beads unconsciously.
“Oh. Um, these are kombolói —Cypriot worry beads. They’re traditionally used for relaxation, but I use them to help control my anxiety. Sometimes I have to do counting exercises, and the beads help with that too. My mom got these for me when she went to Turkey.”
Nic was taken aback. It was the first willing mention of his family that Justice had made around him. He didn’t want to draw too much attention to it and make Justice shut it down.
“Cool. What’s it made of?”
“These are made out of amber, which is cool because it’s organic and has natural pain-relieving properties. I have another set that’s metal, that I made myself.”
Nic only nodded and the conversation dropped off. He couldn’t stop thinking about it though. He wanted to know more about Justice, but there were parts of his life that he seemed to compartmentalize, to keep hidden. While discretion was the better part of valor, Nic had never been particularly valiant, but was terminally nosy.
“Justice, can I ask you something at the risk of making you uncomfortable?”
Justice shot him a wary look but he still nodded, visibly steeling himself. “Shoot.”
Nic swallowed. He had to figure out the best way to ask without hurting Justice’s feelings. “I’ve been in relationships with closeted men before, and it always ends badly. I swore I’d never mess around with that again, but I can’t seem to stay away from you.” Out of the corner of his eye, Nic saw Justice’s eyes widen, so he hurried to get to his point. “I just want to understand, you know? How could you…why are you… Why have you gone this long without coming out?”
Justice’s brows raised and his mouth opened but nothing came out.
Damn, damn . Nic kept talking to fill the silence. “I mean, I’m not judging you, you know. I just…it seems so hard to hide who you really are. And with this Rich guy… Couldn’t you just be honest, so no one could have that kind of power over you?” Nic wasn’t trying to be mean or judgmental. He sincerely wanted to understand, because he couldn’t imagine not just being himself to the world. He guessed he was lucky that his parents just got him. They had just known , pretty much all along.
Justice’s eyes flashed, and for a moment Nic thought he’d lost him. But then he sighed and turned
“Okay,” Nic said, taking a step back. Yeah, he didn’t understand guys who stayed in the closet, but you never know what someone else is going through. “What did you do?”
“I did what he said. I told Rory I couldn’t be his best man.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Oh man, he was devastated. More so than I even thought he would be, but not for the reasons I thought. He wasn’t mad at me, not really. It was almost like he was…terrified. Like he couldn’t get through it without me supporting him. I don’t know. Maybe I’m projecting.”
“Or maybe he really is scared. Getting married is a big deal.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
An idea suddenly came to Nic, and he grabbed Justice’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go somewhere.”
“What? Where?”
“Somewhere that you’ll feel better. Don’t worry. Just trust me.”
“Okay.”
It was all he said before allowing Nic to pull him through the park. That implicit trust was enough to send Nic’s heart pounding.
* * * *
There was a pervasive silence in the car as Nic drove them out to the marina in Bellevue where his other boat was housed. It was about a half hour drive, so there was a lot of time to kill. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Justice’s nervous hands fiddled with what looked like a beaded necklace. A rosary, maybe? Justice didn’t strike him as the religious type.
“What’s that?” Nic asked with a jerk of his chin towards Justice’s hands.
Justice jumped, startled, as if he’d been caught doing something bad. He looked down at his hands and Nic thought maybe he’d been playing with the beads unconsciously.
“Oh. Um, these are kombolói —Cypriot worry beads. They’re traditionally used for relaxation, but I use them to help control my anxiety. Sometimes I have to do counting exercises, and the beads help with that too. My mom got these for me when she went to Turkey.”
Nic was taken aback. It was the first willing mention of his family that Justice had made around him. He didn’t want to draw too much attention to it and make Justice shut it down.
“Cool. What’s it made of?”
“These are made out of amber, which is cool because it’s organic and has natural pain-relieving properties. I have another set that’s metal, that I made myself.”
Nic only nodded and the conversation dropped off. He couldn’t stop thinking about it though. He wanted to know more about Justice, but there were parts of his life that he seemed to compartmentalize, to keep hidden. While discretion was the better part of valor, Nic had never been particularly valiant, but was terminally nosy.
“Justice, can I ask you something at the risk of making you uncomfortable?”
Justice shot him a wary look but he still nodded, visibly steeling himself. “Shoot.”
Nic swallowed. He had to figure out the best way to ask without hurting Justice’s feelings. “I’ve been in relationships with closeted men before, and it always ends badly. I swore I’d never mess around with that again, but I can’t seem to stay away from you.” Out of the corner of his eye, Nic saw Justice’s eyes widen, so he hurried to get to his point. “I just want to understand, you know? How could you…why are you… Why have you gone this long without coming out?”
Justice’s brows raised and his mouth opened but nothing came out.
Damn, damn . Nic kept talking to fill the silence. “I mean, I’m not judging you, you know. I just…it seems so hard to hide who you really are. And with this Rich guy… Couldn’t you just be honest, so no one could have that kind of power over you?” Nic wasn’t trying to be mean or judgmental. He sincerely wanted to understand, because he couldn’t imagine not just being himself to the world. He guessed he was lucky that his parents just got him. They had just known , pretty much all along.
Justice’s eyes flashed, and for a moment Nic thought he’d lost him. But then he sighed and turned
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