I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: Success Secrets Every Gutsy Girl Should Know by Kate White Page A

trying to make your mark. You come into contact with a chick—maybe she sits a few cubicles away or down the hall—who can only be described as a bitch. She brownnoses the boss in a gag-worthy way he fails to see through, hogs the limelight at meetings, and sneakily secures little perks and opportunities that no one else manages to score. And it annoys the freaking hell out of you.
    I first had that kind of experience when I was working in the articles department at Glamour. About two years after I moved into the department as a writer, the articles editor who ran the department hired a recent college grad—I’ll call her Jackie—as her editorial assistant. The young women who worked as junior editors and writers in the department were all generally nice and thoughtful, and everyone graciously welcomed Jackie when she arrived. But it was soon clear our new coworker was a different type of player. Jackie was loud, brash, and utterly intent on getting everything she wanted.
    There were two things in particular that I found irksome about her behavior. Right after college she had attended a fancy six-week intensive publishing program, and not only had it left her with this smug sense of entitlement, but she’d also met tons of cool, dynamic people there who were all now in entry-level positions like her. She was constantly dropping their names and where they worked and where they’d be having drinks that night. She made it sound as though they were the Bloomsbury group.
    The other annoying thing: She soon convinced her boss to let her try her hand at editing articles, something that I, as a writer, wasn’t even doing yet. And to make it worse, she always provided everyone in the department with a verbal play-by-play of her efforts—“I can’t right now,” she’d say. “I have to edit this huge health feature we’re doing this month.” How freaking pushy, I remember thinking. Clearly her boss didn’t know how to say no to her.
    Years passed before I saw what truly bugged me about Jackie. Yes, she was unpleasant to be around, but the main source of my irritation was that she was doing stuff that deep down I knew I should be doing. And that’s the thing you need to recognize about the work bitch. Part of why she galls you may be that you secretly envy her. She’s making moves and winning points in ways that you wish you could pull off yourself.
    Envy can seem like such a nasty feeling that you may find yourself trying to squelch it when it rears its ugly head or even reframing it. But envy has lots of benefits if you acknowledge it and use it right. First, you have to redirect envy—away from the other person and back to yourself. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t stand that bitch,” realize that deep down what you may be thinking is “Damn, I want some of what she’s got.”
    In my own case, I sucked at networking. I was envious of all those contacts Jackie had and how she used them. And I wanted to be editing. I just hadn’t had the nerve to ask.
    So if there’s a bitch in your midst, instead of hating on her, start taking notes. Do you wish you had some of her skills, nerve, gumption, and butt-kissing talent? Do you secretly admire her ability to go big or go home, ingratiate herself, speak up, or massage the boss’s ego? Envy can be a good thing if you flip it around and see what it’s telling you about yourself.
    Something I need to add: This book is loaded with tips on learning what you need to know, promoting yourself, going big, breaking the rules, and even engaging in the right kind of butt kissing. Read them and use them. But being gutsy doesn’t have to translate, as it did with Jackie, into being tough to be around. It’s good to have your coworkers’ respect even if they don’t always like you. That prevents them from trying to undermine you and helps creates allies for down the road. Some good rules of thumb:
    • Go after what you want but not if it clearly belongs to someone