be your friend! You were a-mazing! How good an agent am I?’
‘Charlene, I couldn’t see a thing. I completely blanked out.’
‘Oh sweetie, are you kidding? After this, the sky is the limit for you! We could get you on
Big Brother
, get your picture in
Heat
magazine, you could start dating a footballer; the world is your Bacardi Breezer!’
‘Charlene, listen to me. That last caller, I should have been able to see something, but I couldn’t pick up a thing. One minute, I’m getting flashes all over the place, then nothing. Like turning off a tap. It was scary. It was terrifying. It’s never happened to me before. Never.’
She’s not paying even the slightest bit of attention. ‘And what about that bitch Maura? Boy, she was harsh and so was the lighting. I’m going to have a serious word with Jack about her manner.’
Before I even have time to react, he’s over.
‘What can I say?’ he says, shaking my hand warmly, firmly and making direct eye contact with me. ‘A star is born.’
I’m still so shaken by the last, excruciating few minutes of my life that all I can do is stand there and smile, trying desperately to stay cool and calm and not come across like a dribbling eejit. He’s unavailable, I remind myself sternly. The sexiest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, yes, but
unavailable
.
It’s out of the question, so stop ogling him.
Shit, I better say something first though, or else it’ll look rude.
‘Ehh . . . hi. It’s . . . emm . . . nice to meet you.’ OK, not exactly the Gettysburg address, but duty done and I can skedaddle. Now. Fast.
‘I’ve been exec producing this show for a year now,’ he says, smiling down at me, warm and friendly and kind of shyly, which only makes him even cuter. If that were possible. ‘And I can’t remember ever getting a response quite like this before. You have an amazing gift, Cassandra, or can I call you Cassie, like your friends do?’
‘Ehh . . . yeah. Yes, I mean . . . umm . . .’
OK, here comes a comforting thought. Now that we’ve actually physically met, I’ve done my duty as a friend to Charlene, so after today I can avoid him like the Black Death, can’t I?
Course I can.
Yes, love it, fantastic plan.
‘The thing is, Cassie, if you were interested, I’d really like to offer you a permanent slot on the show.’
Oh shit
.
Chapter Four
THE TAROT DECK
THE STAR CARD
A RARE CARD, signifying great success. At long last, the Universe is conspiring to place you on your true path in life. A time of great abundance and joy, of finding and carving out your own personal niche. Believe it or not, you are actually being guided in the right direction. Finally, at long last, your time has come .
It’s all about you, baby .
It just mightn’t feel that way, that’s all . . .
‘AT THE RISK of having a
Dawson’s Creek
moment, I have to tell you, Cassie, you were so stupendously, awesomely stunning on that show that I feel like having a T-shirt printed saying, “My best friend just happens to be a super-cool mega TV star.”’
‘You’re lying, but bless you anyway,’ I say, mobile clamped to my ear. ‘They should hurry up and perfect the cloning process just so that everyone can have a Jo in their life.’ And I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. It’s times like this that really make me realize what a rare diamond she is. Unjudgemental, supportive and just . . . well, just my Jo.
I’ve
raced
out of Channel Seven, practically leaving a cloud of dust in my wake, I’m so anxious to put as much distance between me and Jack Hamilton/Charlene/ the whole bloody, icky situation as fast as possible. No kidding, I legged it out of there like a sprinter on steroids, jumped straight into a cab and am now en route into town and the
Tattle
office.
‘So what did you say when he offered you the gig? Were you thrilled? I mean, come on, Cassie, talk about a major vote of confidence!’
‘I was so shocked, I think my exact words might have
‘Charlene, I couldn’t see a thing. I completely blanked out.’
‘Oh sweetie, are you kidding? After this, the sky is the limit for you! We could get you on
Big Brother
, get your picture in
Heat
magazine, you could start dating a footballer; the world is your Bacardi Breezer!’
‘Charlene, listen to me. That last caller, I should have been able to see something, but I couldn’t pick up a thing. One minute, I’m getting flashes all over the place, then nothing. Like turning off a tap. It was scary. It was terrifying. It’s never happened to me before. Never.’
She’s not paying even the slightest bit of attention. ‘And what about that bitch Maura? Boy, she was harsh and so was the lighting. I’m going to have a serious word with Jack about her manner.’
Before I even have time to react, he’s over.
‘What can I say?’ he says, shaking my hand warmly, firmly and making direct eye contact with me. ‘A star is born.’
I’m still so shaken by the last, excruciating few minutes of my life that all I can do is stand there and smile, trying desperately to stay cool and calm and not come across like a dribbling eejit. He’s unavailable, I remind myself sternly. The sexiest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, yes, but
unavailable
.
It’s out of the question, so stop ogling him.
Shit, I better say something first though, or else it’ll look rude.
‘Ehh . . . hi. It’s . . . emm . . . nice to meet you.’ OK, not exactly the Gettysburg address, but duty done and I can skedaddle. Now. Fast.
‘I’ve been exec producing this show for a year now,’ he says, smiling down at me, warm and friendly and kind of shyly, which only makes him even cuter. If that were possible. ‘And I can’t remember ever getting a response quite like this before. You have an amazing gift, Cassandra, or can I call you Cassie, like your friends do?’
‘Ehh . . . yeah. Yes, I mean . . . umm . . .’
OK, here comes a comforting thought. Now that we’ve actually physically met, I’ve done my duty as a friend to Charlene, so after today I can avoid him like the Black Death, can’t I?
Course I can.
Yes, love it, fantastic plan.
‘The thing is, Cassie, if you were interested, I’d really like to offer you a permanent slot on the show.’
Oh shit
.
Chapter Four
THE TAROT DECK
THE STAR CARD
A RARE CARD, signifying great success. At long last, the Universe is conspiring to place you on your true path in life. A time of great abundance and joy, of finding and carving out your own personal niche. Believe it or not, you are actually being guided in the right direction. Finally, at long last, your time has come .
It’s all about you, baby .
It just mightn’t feel that way, that’s all . . .
‘AT THE RISK of having a
Dawson’s Creek
moment, I have to tell you, Cassie, you were so stupendously, awesomely stunning on that show that I feel like having a T-shirt printed saying, “My best friend just happens to be a super-cool mega TV star.”’
‘You’re lying, but bless you anyway,’ I say, mobile clamped to my ear. ‘They should hurry up and perfect the cloning process just so that everyone can have a Jo in their life.’ And I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. It’s times like this that really make me realize what a rare diamond she is. Unjudgemental, supportive and just . . . well, just my Jo.
I’ve
raced
out of Channel Seven, practically leaving a cloud of dust in my wake, I’m so anxious to put as much distance between me and Jack Hamilton/Charlene/ the whole bloody, icky situation as fast as possible. No kidding, I legged it out of there like a sprinter on steroids, jumped straight into a cab and am now en route into town and the
Tattle
office.
‘So what did you say when he offered you the gig? Were you thrilled? I mean, come on, Cassie, talk about a major vote of confidence!’
‘I was so shocked, I think my exact words might have
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