intentions?”
“How should I know? His true intentions are that he hopes to keep me on as a quick ball whenever he can get away.”
“Terrific,” I say dryly.
“And on his schedule he probably means to hop over during cigarette breaks.”
“The bastard.”
“I’m so unhappy.”
“I know, baby.”
“What am I going to do?”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him to get out of the house; what do you think I told him? The bastard. I reminded him I was not just an afternoon lay; his own words! So he left, I took five Valium, cried all night, called you and now I have to leave for rehearsal. With swollen eyes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? I’m lonely and depressed. He’s got me right where he wants. I love him, Steve. He knows it. I know it. I told him never to call again, that I wouldn’t see him unless he gets rid of his wife. Her or me. I’m tired of playing the Other Woman. I want top billing. He said he’ll never call again, he understands. Now you and I both know he will call again, that I will see him. Am I right?”
“I’m afraid so,” I mumble.
“What?” says Chris, wiping away another tear.
“I said you’ll probably see him again.”
“And what can that lead to?”
“The usual. Your being hurt.”
“So why do I do it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why do you think?”
“I don’t know. Maybe ... I guess. . . . Chris, it’s not as if you’ve got a choice. You gotta do what you gotta do.”
“Do you think I could ever be happy being happy?”
“Hard to say. Happiness is such a neurotic conception.”
“His fucking wife came home for Christmas. Isn’t that the lowest?”
“I’m sorry.”
“And catch this. He says he and his wife have a terrific relationship. That’s why when he cheats, he’s always discreet. Waits for her to go off on one of her business trips or something. Doesn’t want to see her hurt.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me is right!”
“How’s the revue going?”
“Slowly, but good. At least I can focus my energies there, take my mind off all this.”
“Yeah.”
“And Christmas at the end of the goddamn week. I’ve never been alone for Christmas. Spent the last five with you.”
“Okay. Let’s not get maudlin.”
“I’ll get maudlin if I want.”
“All right, get maudlin. But if you’ll just stay busy rehearsing and keep your chin up a little longer, I’ll be home and we’ll have the best late Christmas ever.”
“Are you trying to cheer me up, Steve?”
“You make it sound like a subversive plot.”
“I’m so unhappy.”
“Chris, stop it. Once you’ve got the tree decorated you’ll feel wonderful. You always do.” “There’ll be no tree this year.” “Why the hell not?”
“I’m in mourning, that’s why the hell not. Have you ever had a tree you couldn’t share with someone? Now that’s a sight to drive you to drink!” “How are the dogs?”
“Well, all right, I guess. Ruth had another fit last night.” “Bad?”
“Not good. Three or four minutes.”
“Has she been getting her pills?”
“Right on schedule.”
“That should control it.”
“Steven?”
“Yeah?”
“What am I going to do?”
“I don’t know. Pray for a blizzard in Florida that’ll shut down the rest of the tour and send me home to you.” “Wouldn’t that be fabulous?” “Fabulous.” “What are the odds?” “I wouldn’t know.”
“I have to get off. I’ll be late for rehearsal.”
“That’s my little trouper!”
“Please, Steve, I’ll vomit.”
“Not on long distance!”
“All the way to Palm Beach!”
“Okay. Try to maintain. I know it’s rough, sweetheart. But think of your career. And me. / love you.” “That really is a comfort, you know.” “I know.”
“Good-bye. Call me Christmas.”
“Right. And, Chris ... stay away from those fucking little pills.”
“I will. I’m all right. Way past doing
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