I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide by Dorian Solot, Marshall Miller Page A

is, look back at page 70. See how creative you can be: How many different ways can you find to touch your clit? With each one, just notice: Does this feel more sensitive, or less? Does it feel good? Which side feels better? Would it feel better with a slightly lighter touch, or slightly firmer? Try touching:
○Directly on the head (the tip) of your clitoris
○On the shaft rather than the tip
○On the left side
○On the right side
○Side to side
○Up and down
○In circles
○The shaft of your clitoris with a rolling motion under your finger
○With one finger
○With two fingers
○With tapping, massaging, stroking, and gentle pinching motions
○Any way you can think of!
    Wet your fingers by putting them in your mouth, or adding some water-based lubricant, and then try touching some more. Does it feel better if your fingers are wet?
    If a partner has brought you to orgasm before using his or her fingers but you’ve never been able to do it yourself, definitely experiment with touching yourself the way your partner does (or did). You can even imagine that it’s your partner touching you as you use your own fingers.
    If you want to, try putting a finger inside your vagina and experimenting with different ways of doing that. Do you like the sensation? How does it feel if your finger moves? How about if you massage with your finger in different directions: up, down, left, right, at each different angle. Your anus also has lots of nerve endings—you can experiment with touching it, too, if you want.
Trying different speeds and pressure with my hand and moving around a lot helped me learn to have an orgasm. If one spot’s not working, skip it and move on. Kind of like the SATs.
I would say exploration and experimentation are the best things to do when learning how to have an orgasm. Try everything you hear or read about. If you explore, you’re bound to find something that satisfies you.
    With each thing you do, just notice the sensations without judging yourself. If anything hurts or feels uncomfortable, stop doing that and try something else instead. You may feel very little at first, but pay attention to even the smallest sensations—they’ll grow with practice. Try not to let any preconceived notions about what you should be feeling, or what you wish you were feeling, get in the way. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and do more of the things that feel good.
I’ve found that turning my brain off and focusing on the pleasurable physical sensations makes a REALLY big difference. Sometimes this is easier to do than others. Being relaxed is also helpful.
    step four: keep touching a few times each week. experience whatever happens. don’t give up!
    Now that you’ve spent some time observing what kind of touch your body likes best, keep doing it! Try to have a self-pleasuring/self-exploration session at least a few times a week (every day is fine if you like), for twenty minutes to an hour each time. (You probably happily shop, instant message, or watch TV for that long a few times a week, if not daily; it’s a perfectly reasonable amount of time to spendon something you enjoy.) Don’t worry about trying to have an orgasm—just keep touching in the ways that feel good to you. You might find that you want to touch harder or faster as you get more turned on—if so, do it! Don’t stress or worry about trying to make yourself have an orgasm, and don’t let yourself start analyzing or judging yourself. If an orgasm comes along, great, but if not, just enjoy the pleasurable sensations.
    It’s a good idea sometimes to touch yourself with full awareness, paying close attention to the process. Some women find it also helps to touch themselves almost absentmindedly (when it’s appropriate—we’re not recommending you start doing it in the supermarket canned goods aisle!). You could touch your clit or your whole body while you’re alone watching TV or reading (whether or not what you’re reading or watching is