I Hope You Find Me by Trish Marie Dawson Page B

was
grateful he didn’t talk about our nap outside, because if he had, I
was sure I would have blushed the most unattractive shade of red
possible. So, I lost myself in the kitchen for a while, taking a
mental inventory of the canned goods, bottled water, perishables
and cooking supplies we could use for our journey into the
mountains. The fact was we had more supplies than we could ever
take with us, at least in one trip, especially if we planned to
retrieve the Jeep. It didn’t have a huge amount of storage space,
but at the time that I decided to use it…or more truthfully, at the
time I stole it from my dead neighbors, I wanted something sturdy,
not too large and with good tires. The Jeep would get us there, but
not with all this stuff.
    “We should make a list of things we
absolutely need to take with us.” I said out loud to myself. Connor
made me jump a little when he spoke from just behind me.
    “You said you have a Jeep?” He asked.
    The space around me filled with the scent of
his airy cologne. I breathed it in deeply before answering him.
    “Yeah, I only brought my backpack with me
into the City. There’s a bag of dog food in the Jeep and I threw a
few extra pairs of clothes and some boots in there. Oh, a gallon of
water too.” I didn’t turn around when I spoke to him, I didn’t
trust myself so close to him.
    “What about taking two vehicles up there?” He
asked, after a pause. He was leaning on the counter now, still just
two feet or so behind me. I could see the sleekness and nakedness
of his arm in my peripheral vision.
    “That’s probably a good idea. I was just
thinking of everything we have here.” I finally turned and leaned
against the counter opposite of him. “I mean, we have no idea if
the lodge is stocked with anything. There might be people there
already or it could be completely gutted.”
    “We don’t know much, do we?” He smiled and
gazed at me with his crystal blue eyes.
    Don’t look at his eyes, Riley, whatever
you do, or you might lose yourself in the blue. I cleared my
throat softly and glanced around the room, searching for something
else worth commenting on. I couldn’t seem to handle looking at him,
and he couldn’t seem to stop looking at me. I felt like a foolish
teenager with a crush, but it also felt forbidden. I wasn’t ready
or altogether willing, for life to move me along so quickly.
Officially, I had been single for most of the last year. I had
dated one man for a handful of months after my divorce was
finalized but I wasn’t much of a browser. Dating was a challenge
with two young children in tow, finding a man that accepted that
had been hard to find. And unlike my ex-husband, who was working on
girlfriend number three by the time our divorce hit its one year
anniversary; it was hard for me to move on. Really hard. Anything
that happened with Connor made me feel like not only was I cheating
on the dead memory of my ex, but our children as well. I didn’t
like that feeling, it made me sad in places of my heart that I
didn’t know existed.
    When I glanced back at Connor, he pushed off
the counter and stepped forward with one of his hands outstretched,
“Riley, look…” He was cut off by a loud knock and Zoey let off a
flurry of barks as she flew off the sofa and darted to the
door.
    “I’ll get it.” I said a bit too hurried, and
I felt the slightest touch of his fingers along my cheek as I
slipped past him out of the kitchen and to the door as fast as I
could.
    It was Mariah, and she asked what our plans
were for dinner. I told her it was going to be coming from a can or
a bag and she laughed. I invited her and Matt over to eat with us
without asking Connor and she promised to be back soon, with her
brother, as I watched her walk the short distance to the next
suite.
    Connor was still in the kitchen and I risked
a quick look in his direction. I couldn’t see his face but his
shoulders were slumped and his head was tilted downward. I knew he
must