situation where sudden movements would not be tolerated. Move too fast and Kerry was going to get spooked.
‘So why didn’t you kill yourself?’ he asked Kerry. ‘That’s got to be better than murdering those innocent girls.’
‘Because I’m already in hell!’ she screamed at him.
The burst of anger was so sudden and unexpected it made Yoko flinch. There was raw fury in Kerry’s face. No tears, but that’s because all her tears had been used up long ago. Winter was still giving off a vibe like this was one big game. It was the same attitude that he’d been displaying all the way through this, and it made Yoko nervous. This was not a game.
‘You don’t understand,’ she added quietly. ‘You’ll never understand.’
‘Help us to understand,’ he said gently.
Kerry gave a humourless laugh and shook her head. ‘I’m in hell and Mary Beth is in heaven and I’ll never see my baby again. That’s all you need to know.’
‘It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident.’
‘Of course it was my fault!’ Kerry yelled at him. ‘I’m her mom. It was my job to protect her. I didn’t do that and she died and it’s all my fault. It should have been me in that car, not her.’
‘And should is a dirty word. You should do this, you should do that, you should do the next thing. Every day we make a thousand decisions. Those decisions are based on the information available at the time, and they’re based on the flawed premise that we can somehow control the future. None of us can do that. There’s always a chance that a rogue variable will come into play. Like some truck driver running a red light.’
‘And what do you know about anything? You’re just a kid.’
Winter shrugged. ‘Well, I know that you knocked on the doors of your victims and when they answered they saw you standing there looking distraught. They asked you what the matter was, and you gave them some story, something about how your kid had disappeared, perhaps. They would have asked you in because they felt sorry for you, but before they could call the police, you would have pulled out a knife. Does that sound about right?’
Kerry just stared at him. Yoko was staring too. She felt she should be saying or doing something, but Winter was a dozen steps ahead and she was just doing her best to keep up. He’d stepped into Kerry’s head and was seeing everything through her eyes. It was like the time he’d turned into Valentino all over again.
‘Once you’d bound and gagged the moms you went through to the girls’ bedrooms. It was late and it was a school night so they would have been fast asleep. You watched them sleeping for a while, and then you took a pillow and smothered them. You used make-up to disguise any discolouration, then you tucked them in. But before you left you read them a story and sang them a lullaby because that’s what you used to do for Mary Beth.’
Yoko had thought that Kerry was all cried out, but that was something else she was mistaken about. A single tear rolled down Kerry’s left cheek. The distant look in her eyes made it appear as though she was having trouble focusing.
She started to sing in a whispering voice that was cracked and out of tune, and heartbreakingly sad. ‘Hush little baby, don’t say a word, papa’s going to buy you a mockingbird.’
‘And if that mockingbird won’t sing, papa’s going to buy you a diamond ring.’ In contrast, Winter’s voice was gentle and surprisingly sweet. It was in tune, too. The way it seeped through the silence seemed somehow ominous and sinister, a perversion of something beautiful.
Yoko took this as her cue to step in. ‘It’s over, Kerry. You don’t have to do this anymore.’
‘You’re right, I don’t.’
She was speaking in a flat voice that set the alarm bells ringing inside Yoko’s head. This was the sound of someone who was about to step off the ledge. The resignation in her voice was absolute. Without realising what she was doing,
‘So why didn’t you kill yourself?’ he asked Kerry. ‘That’s got to be better than murdering those innocent girls.’
‘Because I’m already in hell!’ she screamed at him.
The burst of anger was so sudden and unexpected it made Yoko flinch. There was raw fury in Kerry’s face. No tears, but that’s because all her tears had been used up long ago. Winter was still giving off a vibe like this was one big game. It was the same attitude that he’d been displaying all the way through this, and it made Yoko nervous. This was not a game.
‘You don’t understand,’ she added quietly. ‘You’ll never understand.’
‘Help us to understand,’ he said gently.
Kerry gave a humourless laugh and shook her head. ‘I’m in hell and Mary Beth is in heaven and I’ll never see my baby again. That’s all you need to know.’
‘It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident.’
‘Of course it was my fault!’ Kerry yelled at him. ‘I’m her mom. It was my job to protect her. I didn’t do that and she died and it’s all my fault. It should have been me in that car, not her.’
‘And should is a dirty word. You should do this, you should do that, you should do the next thing. Every day we make a thousand decisions. Those decisions are based on the information available at the time, and they’re based on the flawed premise that we can somehow control the future. None of us can do that. There’s always a chance that a rogue variable will come into play. Like some truck driver running a red light.’
‘And what do you know about anything? You’re just a kid.’
Winter shrugged. ‘Well, I know that you knocked on the doors of your victims and when they answered they saw you standing there looking distraught. They asked you what the matter was, and you gave them some story, something about how your kid had disappeared, perhaps. They would have asked you in because they felt sorry for you, but before they could call the police, you would have pulled out a knife. Does that sound about right?’
Kerry just stared at him. Yoko was staring too. She felt she should be saying or doing something, but Winter was a dozen steps ahead and she was just doing her best to keep up. He’d stepped into Kerry’s head and was seeing everything through her eyes. It was like the time he’d turned into Valentino all over again.
‘Once you’d bound and gagged the moms you went through to the girls’ bedrooms. It was late and it was a school night so they would have been fast asleep. You watched them sleeping for a while, and then you took a pillow and smothered them. You used make-up to disguise any discolouration, then you tucked them in. But before you left you read them a story and sang them a lullaby because that’s what you used to do for Mary Beth.’
Yoko had thought that Kerry was all cried out, but that was something else she was mistaken about. A single tear rolled down Kerry’s left cheek. The distant look in her eyes made it appear as though she was having trouble focusing.
She started to sing in a whispering voice that was cracked and out of tune, and heartbreakingly sad. ‘Hush little baby, don’t say a word, papa’s going to buy you a mockingbird.’
‘And if that mockingbird won’t sing, papa’s going to buy you a diamond ring.’ In contrast, Winter’s voice was gentle and surprisingly sweet. It was in tune, too. The way it seeped through the silence seemed somehow ominous and sinister, a perversion of something beautiful.
Yoko took this as her cue to step in. ‘It’s over, Kerry. You don’t have to do this anymore.’
‘You’re right, I don’t.’
She was speaking in a flat voice that set the alarm bells ringing inside Yoko’s head. This was the sound of someone who was about to step off the ledge. The resignation in her voice was absolute. Without realising what she was doing,
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