How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Page A

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    someone every hour of the day for a week and then come
    to class and talk about the results. How did it work?
    Let’s see. . . Here is a letter from William B. Steinhardt,
    a New York stockbroker. His case isn’t isolated. In fact,
    it is typical of hundreds of cases.

    “1 have been married for over eighteen years,” wrote
    Mr. Steinhardt, “and in all that time I seldom smiled at
    my wife or spoke two dozen words to her from the time
    I got up until I was ready to leave for business. I was
    one of the worst grouches who ever walked down Broadway.

    “When you asked me to make a talk about my experience
    with smiles, I thought I would try it for a week. So
    the next morning, while combing my hair, I looked at
    my glum mug in the mirror and said to myself, ‘Bill, you
    are going to wipe the scowl off that sour puss of yours
    today. You are going to smile. And you are going to begin
    right now.’ As I sat down to breakfast, I greeted my wife
    with a ‘Good morning, my dear,’ and smiled as I said
    it.

    “You warned me that she might be surprised. Well,
    you underestimated her reaction. She was bewildered.
    She was shocked. I told her that in the future she could
    expect this as a regular occurrence, and I kept it up every
    morning.

    “This changed attitude of mine brought more happiness
    into our home in the two months since I started
    than there was during the last year.

    “As I leave for my office, I greet the elevator operator
    in the apartment house with a ‘Good morning’ and a
    smile, I greet the doorman with a smile. I smile at the
    cashier in the subway booth when I ask for change. As I
    stand on the floor of the Stock Exchange, I smile at people
    who until recently never saw me smile.

    “I soon found that everybody was smiling back at me,
    I treat those who come to me with complaints or grievances
    in a cheerful manner, I smile as I listen to them
    and I find that adjustments are accomplished much easier.
    I find that smiles are bringing me dollars, many dollars
    every day.

    “I share my office with another broker. One of his
    clerks is a likable young chap, and I was so elated about
    the results I was getting that I told him recently about
    my new philosophy of human relations. He then confessed
    that when I first came to share my office with his
    firm he thought me a terrible grouch - and only recently
    changed his mind. He said I was really human when I
    smiled.

    “I have also eliminated criticism from my system. I
    give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation.
    I have stopped talking about what I want. I am now
    trying to see the other person’s viewpoint. And these
    things have literally revolutionized my life. I am a totally
    different man, a happier man, a richer man, richer in
    friendships and happiness - the only things that matter
    much after all.”

    You don’t feel like smiling? Then what? Two things.
    First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself
    to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were
    already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.
    Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher William
    James put it:

    “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and
    feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which
    is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly
    regulate the feeling, which is not.

    “Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if
    our cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act
    and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. . . .”

    Every body in the world is seeking happiness - and
    there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling
    your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward
    conditions. It depends on inner conditions.

    It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are
    or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
    It is what you think about it. For example, two people
    may be in the same place, doing the same thing;