How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything by Camilla Morton
Book: How To Walk In High Heels: The Girl's Guide To Everything by Camilla Morton
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Authors: Camilla Morton
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you pay someone, the more persistent they become.
A swift short sharp rebuff MUST come sooner rather than later.
Never make fun of a love-struck fool because one day it could be you.
Treat as you wish to be treated, and never date out of sympathy.
Tempting as it is to keep your options open, don’t give false hope and don’t be a tease.
Hard as it is, you have to be honest. There is no nice way to let someone down. ‘Let’s just be friends’ or ‘I value our friendship too much to have a relationship with you’ are cowardly, inexcusable and, frankly, insulting. Unless you mean it, and then you have to be cruel to be kind.
Always do the deed face to face or, if they are likely to be completely hysterical and irrational, on the telephone. Talk it through. Dumping someone via text or email is pathetic.
The direct approach is definitely favoured by Vivienne Westwood. Bella Freud witnessed her classy rebuff. In a club a man who used to hold a torch for Vivienne came bounding over, but she just lifted her arms in the air and drew a circle around herself. When asked what she was doing, she replied, ‘I am rubbing you out, sir.’ Beat that.
Remember: from Jane Austen to When Harry Met Sally , the fact that men and women cannot simply be ‘just friends’, has been amply illustrated.
How to dance and decline with etiquette
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,’ wrote Jane Austen, in Pride and Prejudice , in 1813. True before, true then, true today.
It should, however, also be written: ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good heel, must be in want of a dance partner.’
Thanks to fashion and the modern world, the gentleman with his top hat, white tie and tails ready to whisk you off your feet has become somewhat extinct. But should the situation arise you need to know how to deal with it.
Dancing is a way to show off your finest assets. Like a presenter on the shopping channel, you have the duration of one track (averaging three minutes) to show off and sell the merchandise. So no pressure. Always have a mini routine in mind.
General dancing tips, be it disco or ballroom are:
1 Stand facing your partner. If you don’t have a partner do the first number solo and aim to find one.
2 Make eye contact. This is key, as you can assess in a moment whether they actually know how to dance and will be able to take the pressure off you. Depending on the tempo and genre of music you have several options, whether to wiggle, hold hands, and so on. You may have to try out a lot of dance partners, but view it like finding the perfect fit of jeans or shoes. You have to go through a lot of ‘nearlys’ and ‘not quite rights’ before you find perfect harmony and happiness.
Remember dancing is 10 per cent skill, and 90 per cent confidence.
Always have icons in mind. Icons don’t fall (over).
Men should aspire to Fred Astaire, John Travolta and Gene Kelly.
Women should think Ginger Rogers, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Lopez, Beyoncé Knowles, and a sexy pole-dancer.
Dutch courage is often necessary but do the maths first. Where are you? Who are you with?
Is there anyone you want/need to impress?
Anyone who you work with there?
How many staircases are in the club?
Where did you leave your coat?
How dance-friendly is your bag and your look?
Above all: what shoes are you wearing? It is crucial to calculate the shoe-to-alcohol ratio.
A few basic tips to keep you in time
Invest in VH1 and MTV – watch the videos and learn.
Doing the Time Warp or Birdie Song will never EVER look cool.
If you lack coordination shimmy on the sidelines.
If you really want to dance, wear shoes you can dance in. Never go barefoot – unless on a private beach – too many hazards, such as broken glass, to avoid.
Take lessons, and don’t be shy; you have to learn to drive, so what is the
A swift short sharp rebuff MUST come sooner rather than later.
Never make fun of a love-struck fool because one day it could be you.
Treat as you wish to be treated, and never date out of sympathy.
Tempting as it is to keep your options open, don’t give false hope and don’t be a tease.
Hard as it is, you have to be honest. There is no nice way to let someone down. ‘Let’s just be friends’ or ‘I value our friendship too much to have a relationship with you’ are cowardly, inexcusable and, frankly, insulting. Unless you mean it, and then you have to be cruel to be kind.
Always do the deed face to face or, if they are likely to be completely hysterical and irrational, on the telephone. Talk it through. Dumping someone via text or email is pathetic.
The direct approach is definitely favoured by Vivienne Westwood. Bella Freud witnessed her classy rebuff. In a club a man who used to hold a torch for Vivienne came bounding over, but she just lifted her arms in the air and drew a circle around herself. When asked what she was doing, she replied, ‘I am rubbing you out, sir.’ Beat that.
Remember: from Jane Austen to When Harry Met Sally , the fact that men and women cannot simply be ‘just friends’, has been amply illustrated.
How to dance and decline with etiquette
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,’ wrote Jane Austen, in Pride and Prejudice , in 1813. True before, true then, true today.
It should, however, also be written: ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good heel, must be in want of a dance partner.’
Thanks to fashion and the modern world, the gentleman with his top hat, white tie and tails ready to whisk you off your feet has become somewhat extinct. But should the situation arise you need to know how to deal with it.
Dancing is a way to show off your finest assets. Like a presenter on the shopping channel, you have the duration of one track (averaging three minutes) to show off and sell the merchandise. So no pressure. Always have a mini routine in mind.
General dancing tips, be it disco or ballroom are:
1 Stand facing your partner. If you don’t have a partner do the first number solo and aim to find one.
2 Make eye contact. This is key, as you can assess in a moment whether they actually know how to dance and will be able to take the pressure off you. Depending on the tempo and genre of music you have several options, whether to wiggle, hold hands, and so on. You may have to try out a lot of dance partners, but view it like finding the perfect fit of jeans or shoes. You have to go through a lot of ‘nearlys’ and ‘not quite rights’ before you find perfect harmony and happiness.
Remember dancing is 10 per cent skill, and 90 per cent confidence.
Always have icons in mind. Icons don’t fall (over).
Men should aspire to Fred Astaire, John Travolta and Gene Kelly.
Women should think Ginger Rogers, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Lopez, Beyoncé Knowles, and a sexy pole-dancer.
Dutch courage is often necessary but do the maths first. Where are you? Who are you with?
Is there anyone you want/need to impress?
Anyone who you work with there?
How many staircases are in the club?
Where did you leave your coat?
How dance-friendly is your bag and your look?
Above all: what shoes are you wearing? It is crucial to calculate the shoe-to-alcohol ratio.
A few basic tips to keep you in time
Invest in VH1 and MTV – watch the videos and learn.
Doing the Time Warp or Birdie Song will never EVER look cool.
If you lack coordination shimmy on the sidelines.
If you really want to dance, wear shoes you can dance in. Never go barefoot – unless on a private beach – too many hazards, such as broken glass, to avoid.
Take lessons, and don’t be shy; you have to learn to drive, so what is the
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