the city’s food inspection agency. I asked him to bring his kit and wanted to do the inspection pre-dinner (like a restaurant, it’s cleaner at 5 p.m. than at 11 p.m.). But I also figured I’d get a more generous review after the meal. Marked on “the Chinatown curve,” I passed.
The director of a ballet school, appointed to be the mayor’s arts adviser, was so unable to speak candidly for political reasons that we quickly reached a conversational stalemate and dinner needed to be the focus of the evening.
Another awkward evening was a dinner for a group of home brewers. I figured that since they all knew each other and hung out regularly, they would slide right into conversation, but until they reached their third beer, not one of them was talkative. So even though I just had to run to the stove and reheat the ribs I’d smoked that day, they needed a long babysitting until they could safely be left alone.
I’ve hosted the occasional brunch. Even if people are coming over at noon, assume that they are ravenous. They have no time for small pre-meal bites. You’ve got to get them fed and soon.
So try to get food on the table within a half-hour. Rather than using a stopwatch, be flexible and read your guests’ moods and appetites.
----
The carrot is to bring out a dish that you’re serving, steam billowing, filling the room with the perfume of its spices. As the warm food catches everyone’s attention, you ask, “Would you join me at the dining table?” And your guests should follow you, Pied Piper style.
But maybe your first course doesn’t lend itself to this type of cheap theatrics. Maybe it’s too heavy or too hot. Maybe it’s soup.
The stick is to go into the living room and declare, “Boy, you better get your ass to the dining table,” or “Would everyone please take a seat at the dinner table?” Be authoritative and make eye contact with at least one person until he or she gets up. Beware the group mentality. If you speak to the group without singling anyone out and then leave the room before anyone rises, the whole pack might just sit there.
The Seats
For an intimate dinner party, there should not be assigned seating. Even if you don’t have formal seating assignments, guests will wait to be told. If you see them hovering, let them know, “Please sit wherever you would like.”
In some strange vestige of our patriarchal past (I hope it’s the past), guests are hesitant to take a seat at the head of the table. Unless you are royalty or a CEO, there is nothing special about the ends of the table. If anything, they are the worst seats because they are the dead ends of conversation, where you have the fewest options of whom to talk to.
As a host, I usually take the end of the table to let others converse more freely. Sit in the middle only if you feel you’re needed to help facilitate conversation. If there is a guest who will assist you between courses — if he or she has specifically volunteered — have the person seated in a position where he or she can see you in the kitchen, or at least the entrance to the kitchen. If the guest’s back is turned to you, he or she will quickly lose interest in being of assistance.
TOMATOES
When tomatoes are in season, they should be served with a minimum of manipulation. Cold gazpacho soup and a well-made tomato sandwich are two great ways to present the flavour of a tomato.
Gazpacho
Chopping tomatoes will make lumpy gazpacho. Puréeing them in a food processor or blender will make it frothy. After much experimentation and many bad directions, I discovered the secret of gazpacho in Paul Bertolli’s book Cooking by Hand . It is easy, but depends on tools. You will need a Kitchen Aid–style mixer and a food mill (aka a ricer). The slow paddle of a mixer will thoroughly separate the liquid from solid without whipping air into it.
12
tomatoes, cored and roughly chopped
12
1
shallot, peeled and finely diced
1
1/4
zucchini, finely diced
1/4
1
yellow
The director of a ballet school, appointed to be the mayor’s arts adviser, was so unable to speak candidly for political reasons that we quickly reached a conversational stalemate and dinner needed to be the focus of the evening.
Another awkward evening was a dinner for a group of home brewers. I figured that since they all knew each other and hung out regularly, they would slide right into conversation, but until they reached their third beer, not one of them was talkative. So even though I just had to run to the stove and reheat the ribs I’d smoked that day, they needed a long babysitting until they could safely be left alone.
I’ve hosted the occasional brunch. Even if people are coming over at noon, assume that they are ravenous. They have no time for small pre-meal bites. You’ve got to get them fed and soon.
So try to get food on the table within a half-hour. Rather than using a stopwatch, be flexible and read your guests’ moods and appetites.
----
The carrot is to bring out a dish that you’re serving, steam billowing, filling the room with the perfume of its spices. As the warm food catches everyone’s attention, you ask, “Would you join me at the dining table?” And your guests should follow you, Pied Piper style.
But maybe your first course doesn’t lend itself to this type of cheap theatrics. Maybe it’s too heavy or too hot. Maybe it’s soup.
The stick is to go into the living room and declare, “Boy, you better get your ass to the dining table,” or “Would everyone please take a seat at the dinner table?” Be authoritative and make eye contact with at least one person until he or she gets up. Beware the group mentality. If you speak to the group without singling anyone out and then leave the room before anyone rises, the whole pack might just sit there.
The Seats
For an intimate dinner party, there should not be assigned seating. Even if you don’t have formal seating assignments, guests will wait to be told. If you see them hovering, let them know, “Please sit wherever you would like.”
In some strange vestige of our patriarchal past (I hope it’s the past), guests are hesitant to take a seat at the head of the table. Unless you are royalty or a CEO, there is nothing special about the ends of the table. If anything, they are the worst seats because they are the dead ends of conversation, where you have the fewest options of whom to talk to.
As a host, I usually take the end of the table to let others converse more freely. Sit in the middle only if you feel you’re needed to help facilitate conversation. If there is a guest who will assist you between courses — if he or she has specifically volunteered — have the person seated in a position where he or she can see you in the kitchen, or at least the entrance to the kitchen. If the guest’s back is turned to you, he or she will quickly lose interest in being of assistance.
TOMATOES
When tomatoes are in season, they should be served with a minimum of manipulation. Cold gazpacho soup and a well-made tomato sandwich are two great ways to present the flavour of a tomato.
Gazpacho
Chopping tomatoes will make lumpy gazpacho. Puréeing them in a food processor or blender will make it frothy. After much experimentation and many bad directions, I discovered the secret of gazpacho in Paul Bertolli’s book Cooking by Hand . It is easy, but depends on tools. You will need a Kitchen Aid–style mixer and a food mill (aka a ricer). The slow paddle of a mixer will thoroughly separate the liquid from solid without whipping air into it.
12
tomatoes, cored and roughly chopped
12
1
shallot, peeled and finely diced
1
1/4
zucchini, finely diced
1/4
1
yellow
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