How to Get What You Want: Without Having to Ask (Frank Feng's Library) by Richard Templar Page A

for. However, you also need to know why the other person should give it to you. So the thing to do now is to memorize three key reasons why they should say yes.
    That’s not the same thing as three reasons why
you
want the thing. Your potential babysitter may not in the least care whether you learn Italian. Or what job you’re hoping to get as a result. They’re far more likely to be persuaded by reasons such as—you’ll owe them a big favor, you’ll mow her lawn every Saturday and your mother is prepared to do it occasionally so she won’t be letting you down if she has to skip a week once in a while.
    Your partner may love you just as you are, but he may see the sense in supporting your diet if you point out that it will make you feel more confident, you’ll be far easier to be around if you don’t have to watch him hide doughnuts, and you’ll be able to go for those long walks he enjoys if you’re leaner and fitter.
    Your boss needs to hear why you should get a pay raise: You exceeded your targets yet again, you’re now fully versed in important software that you couldn’t previously use, and you have taken on additional responsibilities.
    Now you have to make sure that when you ask you remember to state clearly these three reasons for saying yes, so the other person is in no doubt about the benefits of saying yes to you.

Rehearse It
    I’m guessing if you’re reading this book that you may not be entirely comfortable with asking for important things. If you’ve followed all the guidelines in this book, you’ve given yourself the best possible chance—you’ve persuaded the other person they’d like to say yes, and you’ve made it as easy as possible for them. All you need now is a bit more confidence.
    And confidence comes from knowing exactly what you’re doing. So before you actually meet up, rehearse and rehearse and rehearse what you’re going to say. Do it in front of a mirror, or with afriend if you can. Go over it until you really feel confident of what you’re saying, and have the right phrases or figures on the tip of your tongue.
    You’re not trying to script this word for word. That could sound stilted, which would make you feel uncomfortable. You might script the odd few words but otherwise it’s the gist you’re clear about, and the actual words can come naturally. We need to make sure that even if you’re nervous or stressed or anxious or under pressure, you don’t miss out anything important that could make a difference to the other person’s final answer. So rehearse until you know that you can
    • Remember everything you want to say, even under pressure.
    • Recall your three key points.
    • Recall specific phrases that you think will help make your case.
    • Remember any vital facts and figures you may need.
    Look, this is the moment you’ve been working toward for days, weeks, maybe months. You can’t afford to blow it all by screwing up your lines when you get there.

Rehearse Their Answer
    Right, you’ve rehearsed your lines, but what about theirs? What are
they
going to say? And actually, how can you have rehearsed all your lines without knowing how they’ll react? Well you haven’t, of course. You’ve rehearsed your opening gambit—you’ve practiced how to put your case across. But after they respond you’ll be clueless. You’ve no idea what they’re going to say, so you’ll be completely unprepared. If this is something big, they’re hardly likely to say yes right away, are they? They’ll want to talk about it, ask questions, suggest alternatives, I don’t know—anything might happen.
    Well, not quite. It’s true that you don’t know exactly what they’ll say, but you do have a pretty good idea of the options. After all, you’ve already thought through why they might say no, and what would help them to say yes. So if they don’t give you a yes, they’re almost certainly going to come up with one of the objections you’ve already considered.
    So