How to Forgive Even When You Can't Forget by Thomas Herold Page B
Authors: Thomas Herold
Tags: divorce, Abuse, Heart, Self-Esteem, forgiveness, Happiness, feelings, anger, emotion, violent, bitterness, forgive, resentment, nvc, anger management, blame, grudges
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I hardly had any
money.
I wanted to have a piece of that
same cake that was making others so rich. I called my friend and
asked if I could work for him. We quickly came to an agreement on
my salary and I booked a ticket with the last few dollars I had in
my bank account.
Two weeks of hard but optimistic
work zoomed by and I asked my friend for my paycheck. No such luck
– he told me that he couldn’t pay me until his funding package came
through, about $2M.
Another two weeks passed, and the
excuse given this time was that he’d found a better option, about
$5M waiting for final approvals by the angel investors. By the end
of another month, I had not yet seen a dime. I was upset and
discouraged, and felt betrayed by my friend.
I scraped together a few bucks and
booked a flight back to my home in Hawaii, immediately beginning a
program of constant phone calls to my friend, determined to collect
what was due me. I talked to him several times, and then found out
that he was on vacation in Hawaii.
Guess what? Now I was really
pissed off! I hired a lawyer and tried to get my money back. It
turned into a huge no-win situation in my life that ate up every
ounce of joy and faith I once had in success. Every day I woke up
and felt miserable.
My mind was like a magnet — stuck
on loss and betrayal.
A few months later, another, wiser
friend said something strange to me: "Can you forgive your friend?"
For a moment I was puzzled.
Forgive . . . why should I? He should apologize and send me
my money. My wiser friend
added, "Nothing will ever change until you forgive
him!"
Again, I felt all the hurt and
pain well up. It felt like I was being slapped in the face. Then I
asked the question, "How do I forgive?" I had no idea . . . I
needed help.
Forgiveness can be difficult when
the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve our forgiveness —
it’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more
than the one who is forgiven.
Three weeks later and $2100 lighter, I finally understood
what my professional mentor wanted me to understand: forgiveness of others starts with
ourselves — we have to find that place of forgiveness in ourselves
that allows us to move through our pain and hurt . As soon as I started to forgive my friend, my
anger and frustration miraculously began to dissolve, and . .
.
I was finally free to move on with
my life.
You would not believe how many
people hold on to their resentment. My wife, Aviva, and I see this
happening every day when we speak to people on the phone giving
them a consulting session. Yes, I went on to help others with their
own forgiveness challenges, and Aviva and I continue this service
to this very day.
As you may know most of our customers want to fulfill their
dreams by using one of our products — the Dream
Manifestation Kit — to accomplish this. Aviva and I believe that most dreams
begin with a simple act of forgiveness, and the the Dream Manifestation Kit is the perfect tool accomplish
this.
People sometimes take their anger
and resentment to the grave. What a waste of the wonderful life
such persons could have had if they'd only known how to forgive!
The grave is pretty final in many ways, both to the deceased and to
the living. Friends and relatives that are left behind no longer
have the chance to resolve their issues in person with the person
who passed away.
Why not practice forgiveness while alive? Why not bestow
that particular kind of grace on those who need it the most
— while they are still alive
and hoping for your forgiveness? The Dream Manifestation Kit provides a perfect way to begin
your own practice of forgiveness today.
Chapter 1
The Benefits of Not
Forgiving
"If we say that monsters [people
who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power
they should never have...they are given the power to keep their
evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most.
money.
I wanted to have a piece of that
same cake that was making others so rich. I called my friend and
asked if I could work for him. We quickly came to an agreement on
my salary and I booked a ticket with the last few dollars I had in
my bank account.
Two weeks of hard but optimistic
work zoomed by and I asked my friend for my paycheck. No such luck
– he told me that he couldn’t pay me until his funding package came
through, about $2M.
Another two weeks passed, and the
excuse given this time was that he’d found a better option, about
$5M waiting for final approvals by the angel investors. By the end
of another month, I had not yet seen a dime. I was upset and
discouraged, and felt betrayed by my friend.
I scraped together a few bucks and
booked a flight back to my home in Hawaii, immediately beginning a
program of constant phone calls to my friend, determined to collect
what was due me. I talked to him several times, and then found out
that he was on vacation in Hawaii.
Guess what? Now I was really
pissed off! I hired a lawyer and tried to get my money back. It
turned into a huge no-win situation in my life that ate up every
ounce of joy and faith I once had in success. Every day I woke up
and felt miserable.
My mind was like a magnet — stuck
on loss and betrayal.
A few months later, another, wiser
friend said something strange to me: "Can you forgive your friend?"
For a moment I was puzzled.
Forgive . . . why should I? He should apologize and send me
my money. My wiser friend
added, "Nothing will ever change until you forgive
him!"
Again, I felt all the hurt and
pain well up. It felt like I was being slapped in the face. Then I
asked the question, "How do I forgive?" I had no idea . . . I
needed help.
Forgiveness can be difficult when
the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve our forgiveness —
it’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more
than the one who is forgiven.
Three weeks later and $2100 lighter, I finally understood
what my professional mentor wanted me to understand: forgiveness of others starts with
ourselves — we have to find that place of forgiveness in ourselves
that allows us to move through our pain and hurt . As soon as I started to forgive my friend, my
anger and frustration miraculously began to dissolve, and . .
.
I was finally free to move on with
my life.
You would not believe how many
people hold on to their resentment. My wife, Aviva, and I see this
happening every day when we speak to people on the phone giving
them a consulting session. Yes, I went on to help others with their
own forgiveness challenges, and Aviva and I continue this service
to this very day.
As you may know most of our customers want to fulfill their
dreams by using one of our products — the Dream
Manifestation Kit — to accomplish this. Aviva and I believe that most dreams
begin with a simple act of forgiveness, and the the Dream Manifestation Kit is the perfect tool accomplish
this.
People sometimes take their anger
and resentment to the grave. What a waste of the wonderful life
such persons could have had if they'd only known how to forgive!
The grave is pretty final in many ways, both to the deceased and to
the living. Friends and relatives that are left behind no longer
have the chance to resolve their issues in person with the person
who passed away.
Why not practice forgiveness while alive? Why not bestow
that particular kind of grace on those who need it the most
— while they are still alive
and hoping for your forgiveness? The Dream Manifestation Kit provides a perfect way to begin
your own practice of forgiveness today.
Chapter 1
The Benefits of Not
Forgiving
"If we say that monsters [people
who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power
they should never have...they are given the power to keep their
evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most.
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