How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself by Robert Paul Smith Page A
Book: How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself by Robert Paul Smith
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Authors: Robert Paul Smith
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will do nothing with nobody all alone by themselves. And you get a sense, after Smithâs magisterial symposium on making helicopters out of rubber bands and chicken bones, that there is something more at stake in all this.
âI understand some people get worried about kids who spend a lot of time alone,â Smith muses in his closing lines, â. . . but I worry about something else even more; about kids who donât know how to spend any time all alone, by themselves.â Doing nothing with nobody, and doing it well, is a talent at living.
â Paul Collins
I f things were as they should be, another kid would be telling you how to do these things, or youâd be telling another kid. But since Iâm the only kid left around who knows how to do these thingsâIâm forty-two years old, but about these things Iâm still a kidâI guess itâs up to me.
These are things you can do by yourself. There are no kits to build these things. There are no classes to learn these things, no teachers to teach them, you donât need any help from your mother or your father or anybody. The rule about this book is thereâs no hollering for help. If you follow the instructions, these things will work, if
you donât, they wonât. Once you have built them my way, you may find a better way to build them, but first time, do them the way it says.
First thing is a spool tank. For this you need an empty spool. Hereâs one place your mother can be ootzed into the deal. You can ask her for a spool. If she hasnât got an empty one, youâll have to wait until she does. In the meantime, build something else.
HTDN_10
Okay, now youâve got the spool. You will also need a candle or a piece of hard soap, a rubber band, and three or four large wooden kitchen matches. If you want to be real fancy and youâve got a thumbtack, thatâs okay, but you donât really need it, and itâs really not the right way to build a spool tank. The first thing to do is make the washer. Take
a kitchen knife or your jackknife. We used, sometimes, to hold the blade under the hot water until it got fairly warm, thinking it would make it easier to slice the candle, but Iâve just tried it, and I honestly donât think it makes any difference. You can try it both ways and see. Either way, what you do is cut a slice of candle, from the bottom of the candle. Cut it fairly thick, at least a quarter of an inch. The finished washer doesnât have to be that thick, but itâs easier to cut a thick slice of the candle than a thin slice without its breaking. If the candle, when you cut it, looks as if itâs made in thin layers, like an onion, forget it. Youâll never get a decent washer out of it. Either find the kind of candle thatâs made solid, or use soap. If you find the right kind of candle, keep cutting slices until you get a good solid one. You may find it easier to pull the slice off the candle without cutting through the wick, leaving a hole. If you cut right through the wick, with one of your matches push out the little piece of wick in the center if itâs still there. Now go outside and find a very smooth stone, like a sidewalk, and rub, gently, until the washer is nice and flat on both sides. You donât really need a stone, you can do it on a wooden floor, if your mother is somewhere else. 1
If you use soap, cut a slice with your knifeâyou donât have to heat the blade for soapâand then trim it round, and then poke a hole in the center, with the punch on your knife, or you can even do this with the matchstick too. With the matchstick, rub a little groove in the washer, or cut the groove carefully with your knife.
HTDN_12a
Then thread a rubber band through the hole, and put the matchstick through the loop it makes. Now work the rubber band through the spool. Itâs too short? Get a longer one. Itâs too long? Double it. Now break off
âI understand some people get worried about kids who spend a lot of time alone,â Smith muses in his closing lines, â. . . but I worry about something else even more; about kids who donât know how to spend any time all alone, by themselves.â Doing nothing with nobody, and doing it well, is a talent at living.
â Paul Collins
I f things were as they should be, another kid would be telling you how to do these things, or youâd be telling another kid. But since Iâm the only kid left around who knows how to do these thingsâIâm forty-two years old, but about these things Iâm still a kidâI guess itâs up to me.
These are things you can do by yourself. There are no kits to build these things. There are no classes to learn these things, no teachers to teach them, you donât need any help from your mother or your father or anybody. The rule about this book is thereâs no hollering for help. If you follow the instructions, these things will work, if
you donât, they wonât. Once you have built them my way, you may find a better way to build them, but first time, do them the way it says.
First thing is a spool tank. For this you need an empty spool. Hereâs one place your mother can be ootzed into the deal. You can ask her for a spool. If she hasnât got an empty one, youâll have to wait until she does. In the meantime, build something else.
HTDN_10
Okay, now youâve got the spool. You will also need a candle or a piece of hard soap, a rubber band, and three or four large wooden kitchen matches. If you want to be real fancy and youâve got a thumbtack, thatâs okay, but you donât really need it, and itâs really not the right way to build a spool tank. The first thing to do is make the washer. Take
a kitchen knife or your jackknife. We used, sometimes, to hold the blade under the hot water until it got fairly warm, thinking it would make it easier to slice the candle, but Iâve just tried it, and I honestly donât think it makes any difference. You can try it both ways and see. Either way, what you do is cut a slice of candle, from the bottom of the candle. Cut it fairly thick, at least a quarter of an inch. The finished washer doesnât have to be that thick, but itâs easier to cut a thick slice of the candle than a thin slice without its breaking. If the candle, when you cut it, looks as if itâs made in thin layers, like an onion, forget it. Youâll never get a decent washer out of it. Either find the kind of candle thatâs made solid, or use soap. If you find the right kind of candle, keep cutting slices until you get a good solid one. You may find it easier to pull the slice off the candle without cutting through the wick, leaving a hole. If you cut right through the wick, with one of your matches push out the little piece of wick in the center if itâs still there. Now go outside and find a very smooth stone, like a sidewalk, and rub, gently, until the washer is nice and flat on both sides. You donât really need a stone, you can do it on a wooden floor, if your mother is somewhere else. 1
If you use soap, cut a slice with your knifeâyou donât have to heat the blade for soapâand then trim it round, and then poke a hole in the center, with the punch on your knife, or you can even do this with the matchstick too. With the matchstick, rub a little groove in the washer, or cut the groove carefully with your knife.
HTDN_12a
Then thread a rubber band through the hole, and put the matchstick through the loop it makes. Now work the rubber band through the spool. Itâs too short? Get a longer one. Itâs too long? Double it. Now break off
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