as the leather jacket loser. He’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt over a long-sleeved shirt. If he didn’t know what weather temperature to prepare for, how’s he going to know what kind of a fight to prepare for? A fighter like this has no vision. If you don’t have good vision, you can’t visualize an incoming punch or kick ahead of time and be ready to defend against it.
Before you get into any fight, you should instantly think of at least 14 moves you can hurt your opponent with, all of your opponents’ corresponding reactions, as well as 10 offensive moves your opponent might use. In this particular fight, you have to multiply all of that by 4 .
From looking at the photo and reading my analysis, you now know how to beat up 4 people on a rooftop. And you know how to beat up 4 people on the ground too, because a rooftop fight is more difficult than a fight at sea level . You now also possess the knowledge of how to beat up 1, 2, and 3 persons at once. This book hasn’t even officially started yet, and I’ve already taught you how to beat up more people than any other karate book teaches in its entirety.
By the end of this book you will be able to beat up anybody, including anybody who’s ever written a karate book. Except for me. That’s impossible.
CHAPTER ONE:
Everything in this book is real. There are no staged photos. Everything you are about to see really happened.
I am Judah Friedlander, The World Champion . I am the greatest martial artist in the world. And this is the greatest instructional martial arts book ever made. I made this book the same way I fight—alone. If you’re a real fighter, you don’t need help .
I am also the greatest athlete in the world, have sex with lots of women, and I’m a role model to children. But in this book, I focus on teaching you how to beat up anybody.
To make things simpler, I refer to all martial arts as “karate.” And I pronounce it ku-ROT-ee. Because I’m an American .
I’VE BEATEN UP EVERY MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER IN THE WORLD. INCLUDING BERT JOHNSON.
Before the making of this book, photographing me doing karate was impossible. No one was ever able to photograph The World Champion because I physically move faster than a camera can snap a photograph . But, I have a spaceship that’s also a time machine, and I went into the future and got a camera that shoots photos at a shutter speed that can capture an image at a millionth of a second. This state-of-the-art camera from the future can also time travel by itself. It went back in time and took all of the photos in this book. So now, for the first time ever, you can see my karate moves and learn from the best. In some of the photos, I still come out blurry. That’s because sometimes I move faster than the camera from the future’s speed of a millionth of a second. Which means I’m faster than the future . So if you see a blurry photograph of me, it’s not bad photography, just great karate.
I’M TOO FAST FOR THE CAMERA FROM THE FUTURE.
I MOVE MUCH FASTER THAN 1/1,000,000th OF A SECOND.
You must realize that as The World Champion, there are many karate moves I can do that you will never be able to do. In order to make this book a relevant instructional tool for you, I have toned down my athleticism in many of the photo sequences . I have purposefully fought at a much worse skill level than I normally would, decreased my strength, and slowed my quickness—so that I can simulate the best way for you to beat someone up. I’ve made this book to make you a better fighter, and therefore a better person .
In other photos in this book, I will power-up and operate at full World Champion capacity. I’ll be showing you karate moves that you can never execute . But don’t worry, this won’t make you feel inferior. It will inspire you .
There are some karate moves that I will not show you because they’re top secret . And there will be other moves that I will show you, but you will not see them,
Before you get into any fight, you should instantly think of at least 14 moves you can hurt your opponent with, all of your opponents’ corresponding reactions, as well as 10 offensive moves your opponent might use. In this particular fight, you have to multiply all of that by 4 .
From looking at the photo and reading my analysis, you now know how to beat up 4 people on a rooftop. And you know how to beat up 4 people on the ground too, because a rooftop fight is more difficult than a fight at sea level . You now also possess the knowledge of how to beat up 1, 2, and 3 persons at once. This book hasn’t even officially started yet, and I’ve already taught you how to beat up more people than any other karate book teaches in its entirety.
By the end of this book you will be able to beat up anybody, including anybody who’s ever written a karate book. Except for me. That’s impossible.
CHAPTER ONE:
Everything in this book is real. There are no staged photos. Everything you are about to see really happened.
I am Judah Friedlander, The World Champion . I am the greatest martial artist in the world. And this is the greatest instructional martial arts book ever made. I made this book the same way I fight—alone. If you’re a real fighter, you don’t need help .
I am also the greatest athlete in the world, have sex with lots of women, and I’m a role model to children. But in this book, I focus on teaching you how to beat up anybody.
To make things simpler, I refer to all martial arts as “karate.” And I pronounce it ku-ROT-ee. Because I’m an American .
I’VE BEATEN UP EVERY MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER IN THE WORLD. INCLUDING BERT JOHNSON.
Before the making of this book, photographing me doing karate was impossible. No one was ever able to photograph The World Champion because I physically move faster than a camera can snap a photograph . But, I have a spaceship that’s also a time machine, and I went into the future and got a camera that shoots photos at a shutter speed that can capture an image at a millionth of a second. This state-of-the-art camera from the future can also time travel by itself. It went back in time and took all of the photos in this book. So now, for the first time ever, you can see my karate moves and learn from the best. In some of the photos, I still come out blurry. That’s because sometimes I move faster than the camera from the future’s speed of a millionth of a second. Which means I’m faster than the future . So if you see a blurry photograph of me, it’s not bad photography, just great karate.
I’M TOO FAST FOR THE CAMERA FROM THE FUTURE.
I MOVE MUCH FASTER THAN 1/1,000,000th OF A SECOND.
You must realize that as The World Champion, there are many karate moves I can do that you will never be able to do. In order to make this book a relevant instructional tool for you, I have toned down my athleticism in many of the photo sequences . I have purposefully fought at a much worse skill level than I normally would, decreased my strength, and slowed my quickness—so that I can simulate the best way for you to beat someone up. I’ve made this book to make you a better fighter, and therefore a better person .
In other photos in this book, I will power-up and operate at full World Champion capacity. I’ll be showing you karate moves that you can never execute . But don’t worry, this won’t make you feel inferior. It will inspire you .
There are some karate moves that I will not show you because they’re top secret . And there will be other moves that I will show you, but you will not see them,
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