want, though.”
“You,” Ivan and Samson both said in unison. Ivan stroked her hand with his thumb as she stilled her fidgeting and met Ivan’s gaze. She blinked a few times. Drew her brows together, shook her head, and then squinted at him.
“Did I just hear you right?”
Samson glanced over and caught his eye and grinned. Ivan gave her hand another squeeze to draw her attention and said, “Why are you so surprised? Samson has told me that you’re friends with several ménage groups, so I know it’s not that you’re shocked.”
“Uh…Actually, yeah I am.”
“Why?” Samson replied in a growly voice.
Snorting with wry humor, she looked between them and said, “Because you don’t know what all you’d be giving up, by wanting a ménage…with me .”
Samson gave her a crooked grin before brushing her hair back from her cheek. “All I can see is what I’d be gaining, honey. What would we be giving up?”
She took a deep breath. “You both know me well enough to know I’d never go for a fling. But if we committed to a ménage, there are things you’d give up that the men in the other ménage groupings have .”
“Such as?” Ivan asked.
“I’m assuming you want all the sexual trappings that go along with a ménage. I’ll be fifty years old in a couple of years, and…I have, or will soon have, issues that come along with aging, and I can’t have any more children.” As she spoke, her cheeks grew more and more flushed, and when she mentioned children, her voice broke. “Neither of you are a father yet, and you’re bound to want kids…and I can’t give them to you.”
“Hey,” Samson said in a soothing voice. “Cassandra, we want you . I want you . Ivan wants you .”
“But I’m not…” Her eyes darted around, as she seemed to search for the right word and then placed her hand against her abdomen. “Whole. I’m not whole anymore, which was the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back,’ according to Bill.”
“What happened?” Ivan asked, taking her hand in his again, sympathy warring with protectiveness at the mention of Bill’s name.
“I had problems with my…cycles, which made sex a hit or miss thing, and it caused a lot of tension between us. On a visit to my gynecologist they discovered some…problems and…I had to have a hysterectomy. Bill acted as though they were removing my femininity with my uterus and said that was the last straw and he was done.” It was obvious from her hesitation and the dark flush in her cheeks she wasn’t used to talking about female health issues with a man, much less men. Where had Bill been all their married life?
Ivan could only imagine the stress of running a fledgling business, having a health scare, and her husband walking out on her when she should’ve had his support as she recovered.
Her hand in Ivan’s grasp had grown cool with her agitation, and Samson took her other one again and said, “Are you okay? Did everything turn out all right?”
“Oh yeah,” she said with a shrug since they were both holding her hands and wouldn’t let go. “I was fine once the surgery was behind me and I’d recovered. I have scars, but they’re practically invisible. It’s embarrassing telling you all my private medical stuff, but you need to understand I’m in early menopause. I’m on hormone replacement therapy, and you’re interested in a woman who is past her prime. If I were a couple of men looking for a woman, I’d want her to be a young woman who’s still limber and flexible. Someone who can have kids…who doesn’t have to worry—”
Samson said, “No one else but you will do, Cassandra. I hate that you see yourself as old and past your prime. That’s not the woman I see when I look at you.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. “You’re seeing me with rose-colored glasses, Samson. What I show the world. The toned, teenaged girl is long gone.” Her chin wobbled with the last words, and Ivan’s heart ached for
“You,” Ivan and Samson both said in unison. Ivan stroked her hand with his thumb as she stilled her fidgeting and met Ivan’s gaze. She blinked a few times. Drew her brows together, shook her head, and then squinted at him.
“Did I just hear you right?”
Samson glanced over and caught his eye and grinned. Ivan gave her hand another squeeze to draw her attention and said, “Why are you so surprised? Samson has told me that you’re friends with several ménage groups, so I know it’s not that you’re shocked.”
“Uh…Actually, yeah I am.”
“Why?” Samson replied in a growly voice.
Snorting with wry humor, she looked between them and said, “Because you don’t know what all you’d be giving up, by wanting a ménage…with me .”
Samson gave her a crooked grin before brushing her hair back from her cheek. “All I can see is what I’d be gaining, honey. What would we be giving up?”
She took a deep breath. “You both know me well enough to know I’d never go for a fling. But if we committed to a ménage, there are things you’d give up that the men in the other ménage groupings have .”
“Such as?” Ivan asked.
“I’m assuming you want all the sexual trappings that go along with a ménage. I’ll be fifty years old in a couple of years, and…I have, or will soon have, issues that come along with aging, and I can’t have any more children.” As she spoke, her cheeks grew more and more flushed, and when she mentioned children, her voice broke. “Neither of you are a father yet, and you’re bound to want kids…and I can’t give them to you.”
“Hey,” Samson said in a soothing voice. “Cassandra, we want you . I want you . Ivan wants you .”
“But I’m not…” Her eyes darted around, as she seemed to search for the right word and then placed her hand against her abdomen. “Whole. I’m not whole anymore, which was the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back,’ according to Bill.”
“What happened?” Ivan asked, taking her hand in his again, sympathy warring with protectiveness at the mention of Bill’s name.
“I had problems with my…cycles, which made sex a hit or miss thing, and it caused a lot of tension between us. On a visit to my gynecologist they discovered some…problems and…I had to have a hysterectomy. Bill acted as though they were removing my femininity with my uterus and said that was the last straw and he was done.” It was obvious from her hesitation and the dark flush in her cheeks she wasn’t used to talking about female health issues with a man, much less men. Where had Bill been all their married life?
Ivan could only imagine the stress of running a fledgling business, having a health scare, and her husband walking out on her when she should’ve had his support as she recovered.
Her hand in Ivan’s grasp had grown cool with her agitation, and Samson took her other one again and said, “Are you okay? Did everything turn out all right?”
“Oh yeah,” she said with a shrug since they were both holding her hands and wouldn’t let go. “I was fine once the surgery was behind me and I’d recovered. I have scars, but they’re practically invisible. It’s embarrassing telling you all my private medical stuff, but you need to understand I’m in early menopause. I’m on hormone replacement therapy, and you’re interested in a woman who is past her prime. If I were a couple of men looking for a woman, I’d want her to be a young woman who’s still limber and flexible. Someone who can have kids…who doesn’t have to worry—”
Samson said, “No one else but you will do, Cassandra. I hate that you see yourself as old and past your prime. That’s not the woman I see when I look at you.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. “You’re seeing me with rose-colored glasses, Samson. What I show the world. The toned, teenaged girl is long gone.” Her chin wobbled with the last words, and Ivan’s heart ached for
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