was casually leaning against the stone, but his words weren’t casual at all. He was a man trying to reconcile himself with his choices. I understood that. I was doing the same.
“No,” I answered truthfully. “I am happy here in Alexandria. This is my home, Charmian is here. I am nothing without her or Egypt. I could have left you, sir. I could have left Egypt long ago and avoided this impasse where we are now. But I would not have liked myself. It would have cost me my honor and without that, I am not a man at all.”
“True words,”Antony agreed. “And here in the dark, there is no general and commander. We are friends. Do not call me sir here. Not tonight.”
I nodded.
“I will fight with you to the death, Antony. Until I draw no more breath. It will be an honor. I can think of no one else I would rather die with.”
“We will die with honor,” Antony nodded. “I will have it no other way.”
We fell silent and I listened to the bushes rustling in the breeze, the flowers that tossed their heavy exotic scents into the wind. A few minutes later, Antony broke the silence.
“I will not surrender,” he told me quietly. “I will die as a Roman. Do you understand what I am saying? I would rather live as a hero in the afterlife than stay alive as a mortal as Octavian’s prisoner.”
I nodded. “Understood.” He would rather fall on his own sword before he would allow them to take him alive.
“It’s been an honor fighting with you all of these years,” he told me, slapping me on the shoulder.
“The honor has been mine,” I replied.
“Now, what are we doing down here?” Antony asked, his tone changing from one of melancholy to one of almost jest. “We have women to bed. Again.”
He laughed, the sound carrying far outside of the gardens. He stood and turned and walked for the palace.
“I’ll meet you here in at dawn,” he called over his shoulder.
“I’ll be here,” I replied quietly.
And I would be. I might have played with the idea of snatching Charmian up and running as far as we could; far, far, from here, but I knew that I could never do that. Being a soldier was in my blood. My father had served the Ptolemies, and his father before him and his father before him. It was who I was and my family had always done it with honor. Dying would not change that.
The horizon was just beginning to turn purple as the sun crept toward it and I knew my time was limited. I turned and walked quickly back toward the palace, back to where Charmian was sleeping.
I made one quick stop, in the bedchambers of Iras, Cleoaptra’s second handmaid. She startled when I approached the bed, but she recognized me quickly enough and sat up in confusion.
“General,” she stuttered. “What are you doing here?”
“Iras, I need your promise,” I said firmly, holding her gaze.
“Anything,” she replied.
“After the battle tomorrow, if you hear news that I have fallen, send Charmian to my mother, outside of the city. Tell her to make haste and not to stop for anyone.”
Iras looked at me in confusion. “Shouldn’t you give her these instructions yourself?” She looked at me for a moment and the sighed. “Ah, I see. You do not wish to trouble her. You don’t think she knows that Egypt will fall. I am certain that she knows, General. All of us know.”
“Be that as it may,” I answered. “I do not wish to speak of it before battle. It will bring bad fortune to my soldiers. Please, just give Charmian those instructions. And tell her that I love her.”
“Of course,” Iras answered. I turned and made my way toward the hall. I was fairly certain that I heard Iras weeping as I closed the door behind me.
I crept back into Charmian’s bedchambers and sat on the side of the bed for the longest time, simply watching her sleep. She was exquisite in her beauty, but she was so much more than that.
“No,” I answered truthfully. “I am happy here in Alexandria. This is my home, Charmian is here. I am nothing without her or Egypt. I could have left you, sir. I could have left Egypt long ago and avoided this impasse where we are now. But I would not have liked myself. It would have cost me my honor and without that, I am not a man at all.”
“True words,”Antony agreed. “And here in the dark, there is no general and commander. We are friends. Do not call me sir here. Not tonight.”
I nodded.
“I will fight with you to the death, Antony. Until I draw no more breath. It will be an honor. I can think of no one else I would rather die with.”
“We will die with honor,” Antony nodded. “I will have it no other way.”
We fell silent and I listened to the bushes rustling in the breeze, the flowers that tossed their heavy exotic scents into the wind. A few minutes later, Antony broke the silence.
“I will not surrender,” he told me quietly. “I will die as a Roman. Do you understand what I am saying? I would rather live as a hero in the afterlife than stay alive as a mortal as Octavian’s prisoner.”
I nodded. “Understood.” He would rather fall on his own sword before he would allow them to take him alive.
“It’s been an honor fighting with you all of these years,” he told me, slapping me on the shoulder.
“The honor has been mine,” I replied.
“Now, what are we doing down here?” Antony asked, his tone changing from one of melancholy to one of almost jest. “We have women to bed. Again.”
He laughed, the sound carrying far outside of the gardens. He stood and turned and walked for the palace.
“I’ll meet you here in at dawn,” he called over his shoulder.
“I’ll be here,” I replied quietly.
And I would be. I might have played with the idea of snatching Charmian up and running as far as we could; far, far, from here, but I knew that I could never do that. Being a soldier was in my blood. My father had served the Ptolemies, and his father before him and his father before him. It was who I was and my family had always done it with honor. Dying would not change that.
The horizon was just beginning to turn purple as the sun crept toward it and I knew my time was limited. I turned and walked quickly back toward the palace, back to where Charmian was sleeping.
I made one quick stop, in the bedchambers of Iras, Cleoaptra’s second handmaid. She startled when I approached the bed, but she recognized me quickly enough and sat up in confusion.
“General,” she stuttered. “What are you doing here?”
“Iras, I need your promise,” I said firmly, holding her gaze.
“Anything,” she replied.
“After the battle tomorrow, if you hear news that I have fallen, send Charmian to my mother, outside of the city. Tell her to make haste and not to stop for anyone.”
Iras looked at me in confusion. “Shouldn’t you give her these instructions yourself?” She looked at me for a moment and the sighed. “Ah, I see. You do not wish to trouble her. You don’t think she knows that Egypt will fall. I am certain that she knows, General. All of us know.”
“Be that as it may,” I answered. “I do not wish to speak of it before battle. It will bring bad fortune to my soldiers. Please, just give Charmian those instructions. And tell her that I love her.”
“Of course,” Iras answered. I turned and made my way toward the hall. I was fairly certain that I heard Iras weeping as I closed the door behind me.
I crept back into Charmian’s bedchambers and sat on the side of the bed for the longest time, simply watching her sleep. She was exquisite in her beauty, but she was so much more than that.
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