about? thought Henry.
“Once upon a time there was a boy and his pig. They played together every day. The pig went oink.”
Sounds good to me, thought Henry.
Then there was A Pig and his Boy. And, of course, A Boyish Pig. A Piggish Boy. Two Pigs and a Boy. Two Boys and a Pig.
Horrid Henry wrote and wrote and wrote. When he had filled up four pages with books and reports, and his hand ached from writing, he stopped and counted.
Twenty-seven books! Surely that was more than enough!
Miss Battle-Axe rose from her seat and walked to the podium in the school hall. Horrid Henry was so excited he could scarcely breathe. He had to win. He was sure to win.
“Well done, everyone,” said Miss Battle-Axe. “So many wonderful books read. But sadly, there can be only one winner.”
Me! thought Horrid Henry.
“The winner of the school reading competition, the winner who will be receiving a fabulous prize, is—” Horrid Henry got ready to leap up— “Clare, with twenty-eight books!”
Horrid Henry sank back down in his seat as Clever Clare swaggered up to the podium. If only he’d added Three Boys, Two Pigs, and a Rhinoceros to his list, he’d have tied for first. It was so unfair. All his hard work for nothing.
“Well done, Clare!” beamed Miss Battle-Axe. She waved Clare’s list. “I see you’ve read one of my very favorites, Boudicca’s Big Battle.”
She stopped. “Oh dear. Clare, you’ve put down Boudicca’s Big Battle twice by mistake. But never mind. I’m sure no one else has read twenty-seven books—”
“I have!” screamed Horrid Henry. Leaping and shouting, punching the air with his fist, Horrid Henry ran up onto the stage, chanting: “Theme park! Theme park! Theme park!”
“Gimme my prize!” he screeched, snatching the tickets out of Clare’s hand.
“Mine!” screamed Clare, snatching them back.
Miss Battle-Axe looked grim. She scanned Henry’s list.
“I am not familiar with the Boy and Pig series,” she said.
“That’s ’cause it’s Australian,” said Horrid Henry.
Miss Battle-Axe glared at him. Then she tried to twist her face into a smile.
“It appears we have a tie,” she said. “Therefore, you will each receive a family pass to the new theme park, Book World. Congratulations.”
Horrid Henry stopped his victory dance. Book World? Book World? Surely he’d heard wrong?
“Here are just some of the wonderful attractions you will enjoy at Book World,” said Miss Battle-Axe. “‘Thrill to a display of speed-reading! Practice checking out library books! Read to the beat!’ Oh my, doesn’t that sound fun!”
“AAAAAARGGGGGGGGG!” screamed Horrid Henry.
2
HORRID HENRY’S STINKBOMB
“I hate you, Margaret!” shrieked Sour Susan. She stumbled out of the Secret Club tent.
“I hate you too!” shrieked Moody Margaret.
Sour Susan stuck out her tongue.
Moody Margaret stuck out hers back.
“I quit!” yelled Susan.
“You can’t quit. You’re fired!” yelled Margaret.
“You can’t fire me. I quit!” said Susan.
“I fired you first,” said Margaret. “And I’m changing the password!”
“Go ahead. See if I care. I don’t want to be in the Secret Club any more!” said Susan sourly.
“Good! Because we don’t want you.”
Moody Margaret flounced back inside the Secret Club tent. Sour Susan stalked off.
Free at last! Susan was sick and tired of her ex-best friend Bossyboots Margaret. Blaming her for the disastrous raid on the Purple Hand Fort when it was all Margaret’s fault was bad enough. But then to ask stupid Linda to join the Secret Club without even telling her! Susan hated Linda even more than she hated Margaret. Linda hadn’t invited Susan to her sleepover party. And she was a copycat. But Margaret didn’t care. Today she’d made Linda chief spy. Well, Susan had had enough. Margaret had been mean to her once too often.
Susan heard roars of laughter from inside the club tent. So they were laughing, were they? Laughing at her, no
“Once upon a time there was a boy and his pig. They played together every day. The pig went oink.”
Sounds good to me, thought Henry.
Then there was A Pig and his Boy. And, of course, A Boyish Pig. A Piggish Boy. Two Pigs and a Boy. Two Boys and a Pig.
Horrid Henry wrote and wrote and wrote. When he had filled up four pages with books and reports, and his hand ached from writing, he stopped and counted.
Twenty-seven books! Surely that was more than enough!
Miss Battle-Axe rose from her seat and walked to the podium in the school hall. Horrid Henry was so excited he could scarcely breathe. He had to win. He was sure to win.
“Well done, everyone,” said Miss Battle-Axe. “So many wonderful books read. But sadly, there can be only one winner.”
Me! thought Horrid Henry.
“The winner of the school reading competition, the winner who will be receiving a fabulous prize, is—” Horrid Henry got ready to leap up— “Clare, with twenty-eight books!”
Horrid Henry sank back down in his seat as Clever Clare swaggered up to the podium. If only he’d added Three Boys, Two Pigs, and a Rhinoceros to his list, he’d have tied for first. It was so unfair. All his hard work for nothing.
“Well done, Clare!” beamed Miss Battle-Axe. She waved Clare’s list. “I see you’ve read one of my very favorites, Boudicca’s Big Battle.”
She stopped. “Oh dear. Clare, you’ve put down Boudicca’s Big Battle twice by mistake. But never mind. I’m sure no one else has read twenty-seven books—”
“I have!” screamed Horrid Henry. Leaping and shouting, punching the air with his fist, Horrid Henry ran up onto the stage, chanting: “Theme park! Theme park! Theme park!”
“Gimme my prize!” he screeched, snatching the tickets out of Clare’s hand.
“Mine!” screamed Clare, snatching them back.
Miss Battle-Axe looked grim. She scanned Henry’s list.
“I am not familiar with the Boy and Pig series,” she said.
“That’s ’cause it’s Australian,” said Horrid Henry.
Miss Battle-Axe glared at him. Then she tried to twist her face into a smile.
“It appears we have a tie,” she said. “Therefore, you will each receive a family pass to the new theme park, Book World. Congratulations.”
Horrid Henry stopped his victory dance. Book World? Book World? Surely he’d heard wrong?
“Here are just some of the wonderful attractions you will enjoy at Book World,” said Miss Battle-Axe. “‘Thrill to a display of speed-reading! Practice checking out library books! Read to the beat!’ Oh my, doesn’t that sound fun!”
“AAAAAARGGGGGGGGG!” screamed Horrid Henry.
2
HORRID HENRY’S STINKBOMB
“I hate you, Margaret!” shrieked Sour Susan. She stumbled out of the Secret Club tent.
“I hate you too!” shrieked Moody Margaret.
Sour Susan stuck out her tongue.
Moody Margaret stuck out hers back.
“I quit!” yelled Susan.
“You can’t quit. You’re fired!” yelled Margaret.
“You can’t fire me. I quit!” said Susan.
“I fired you first,” said Margaret. “And I’m changing the password!”
“Go ahead. See if I care. I don’t want to be in the Secret Club any more!” said Susan sourly.
“Good! Because we don’t want you.”
Moody Margaret flounced back inside the Secret Club tent. Sour Susan stalked off.
Free at last! Susan was sick and tired of her ex-best friend Bossyboots Margaret. Blaming her for the disastrous raid on the Purple Hand Fort when it was all Margaret’s fault was bad enough. But then to ask stupid Linda to join the Secret Club without even telling her! Susan hated Linda even more than she hated Margaret. Linda hadn’t invited Susan to her sleepover party. And she was a copycat. But Margaret didn’t care. Today she’d made Linda chief spy. Well, Susan had had enough. Margaret had been mean to her once too often.
Susan heard roars of laughter from inside the club tent. So they were laughing, were they? Laughing at her, no
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