thought I was holding you back. Obviously, you thought so too because you left me at the altar." The tired old ache was back in her heart. "I waited for you for over an hour that day. You just left me, like I was trash." There, she'd said out loud what she'd been thinking since returning to Seward and finding him.
"Trash?" Rick sat up a little straighter. "No."
The words were said softly and she heard the sincerity behind them.
"I never meant to hurt you." He reached for her hand. "We were young. I got cold feet. For a number of reasons, none of which had to do with you, your family, or my grandparents."
She snatched her hand away. "How can you say that? Of course it had to do with me. I wasn't good enough, or smart enough, or loveable enough." Tawney shot off the sofa. "Tell me the truth. I can take it."
"I am telling you the truth." Rick stood. "Come on, you know we weren't ready to be married. I wanted you, and marriage was a way to get what I wanted. I'm not proud of that, but I was a teenager. I didn't do my thinking with my head."
"So you just wanted sex?" she asked, trying to understand. "That's stupid. I would have given it to you anyway if we'd stayed together, marriage or no marriage. Instead you left me. You broke my heart. I lost faith in men. Do you know that my sisters and I call you the Destroyer?"
He winced. "I wish I had a better defense, but I don’t. I was young and stupid. I had dreams. I wanted to go to college, study law enforcement, be a cop. I didn't have parents to guide me, just grandparents and June. She was my voice of reason."
"June talked you out of marrying me?" Tawney asked.
"She did, but not because she didn't like you. She thought we were too young. She told me we had all the time in the world to be in love."
Tawney looked deep into his eyes. In his gaze she saw truth, sincerity, and sorrow. He was right. They had been kids. For God's sake, her own mother should have warned her off of Rick, but Destiny had been too wrapped up in her own life as always. And try as she might, Tawney couldn't remember if Patsy had known about the almost wedding or not. If she had known, maybe Tawney would have been the one to walk away. She'd had her own dreams of being a dancer in those days, dreams Patsy had encouraged. She really couldn't fault Rick for leaving her. He'd done them both a favor. He'd already apologized and she'd accepted. It was time to let the whole matter die.
Tawney resumed her seat on the sofa. "Well, I guess it's all water under the bridge. Interesting that neither of us is married now. Maybe we've both had too many hard knocks in this life. Are we emotional cripples, Rick?"
"No," he said, sitting beside her. "We are just living our lives like everyone else." He gave her a tired smile. "Friends?"
She returned his smile. "Friends. Let's start over as grownups."
"Deal."
"Do you miss Seattle?" she asked, wanting to change the subject. "You have to."
"I miss certain things." His features took on a pensive look. "I miss the weather. It's mild. Summers there are beautiful, the water, the mountains, all the green. Seattle truly is the Emerald City."
She nodded. "What else?"
"I miss all the places to get coffee." He grinned.
"I miss that about Vegas, too."
"I miss the buzz." He leaned back, his head resting on the back of the sofa, his eyes on the ceiling. "The excitement. The smell of the police station. My place on Queen Anne. My view of Lake Union and the Space Needle. What do you miss about Vegas?"
She smiled. "The excitement of life moving quickly. The trends. I like being on the cutting edge when it comes to fashion. I think I might be some kind of pop culture girl."
He scrubbed his chin. "I'm not into pop culture so much, but I liked having a lot of choices."
"Restaurants." Her hand went to her stomach. "I miss the food and the way you can get anything you want to eat twenty-four hours a day."
"Me, too."
This time they both smiled. At last they were talking and it
"Trash?" Rick sat up a little straighter. "No."
The words were said softly and she heard the sincerity behind them.
"I never meant to hurt you." He reached for her hand. "We were young. I got cold feet. For a number of reasons, none of which had to do with you, your family, or my grandparents."
She snatched her hand away. "How can you say that? Of course it had to do with me. I wasn't good enough, or smart enough, or loveable enough." Tawney shot off the sofa. "Tell me the truth. I can take it."
"I am telling you the truth." Rick stood. "Come on, you know we weren't ready to be married. I wanted you, and marriage was a way to get what I wanted. I'm not proud of that, but I was a teenager. I didn't do my thinking with my head."
"So you just wanted sex?" she asked, trying to understand. "That's stupid. I would have given it to you anyway if we'd stayed together, marriage or no marriage. Instead you left me. You broke my heart. I lost faith in men. Do you know that my sisters and I call you the Destroyer?"
He winced. "I wish I had a better defense, but I don’t. I was young and stupid. I had dreams. I wanted to go to college, study law enforcement, be a cop. I didn't have parents to guide me, just grandparents and June. She was my voice of reason."
"June talked you out of marrying me?" Tawney asked.
"She did, but not because she didn't like you. She thought we were too young. She told me we had all the time in the world to be in love."
Tawney looked deep into his eyes. In his gaze she saw truth, sincerity, and sorrow. He was right. They had been kids. For God's sake, her own mother should have warned her off of Rick, but Destiny had been too wrapped up in her own life as always. And try as she might, Tawney couldn't remember if Patsy had known about the almost wedding or not. If she had known, maybe Tawney would have been the one to walk away. She'd had her own dreams of being a dancer in those days, dreams Patsy had encouraged. She really couldn't fault Rick for leaving her. He'd done them both a favor. He'd already apologized and she'd accepted. It was time to let the whole matter die.
Tawney resumed her seat on the sofa. "Well, I guess it's all water under the bridge. Interesting that neither of us is married now. Maybe we've both had too many hard knocks in this life. Are we emotional cripples, Rick?"
"No," he said, sitting beside her. "We are just living our lives like everyone else." He gave her a tired smile. "Friends?"
She returned his smile. "Friends. Let's start over as grownups."
"Deal."
"Do you miss Seattle?" she asked, wanting to change the subject. "You have to."
"I miss certain things." His features took on a pensive look. "I miss the weather. It's mild. Summers there are beautiful, the water, the mountains, all the green. Seattle truly is the Emerald City."
She nodded. "What else?"
"I miss all the places to get coffee." He grinned.
"I miss that about Vegas, too."
"I miss the buzz." He leaned back, his head resting on the back of the sofa, his eyes on the ceiling. "The excitement. The smell of the police station. My place on Queen Anne. My view of Lake Union and the Space Needle. What do you miss about Vegas?"
She smiled. "The excitement of life moving quickly. The trends. I like being on the cutting edge when it comes to fashion. I think I might be some kind of pop culture girl."
He scrubbed his chin. "I'm not into pop culture so much, but I liked having a lot of choices."
"Restaurants." Her hand went to her stomach. "I miss the food and the way you can get anything you want to eat twenty-four hours a day."
"Me, too."
This time they both smiled. At last they were talking and it
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