broken into. For all you know he was using you.”
“Why? Because I’m not beautiful like you? Why would a guy want to pay any attention to me? Right?”
“Anna , that is not what I meant and you know it.”
“No , Katie, I don’t,” I yell and storm away.
***
After my blow up at Katie I don’t see her for the rest of the day. Just as well. Having Katie—of all people—lecture me makes me see shades of red I didn’t know possible.
Her choice in guys has never been stellar. Like Bobby Binklestein who used to ditch her constantly to hang out with his friends. Carl Mathews, who used to get drunk and pass out on her all the time. And my all-time favorite, Marcus Scott, who cheated on her every chance he got. So who is she to tell me who I should and shouldn’t like? As if my judge of guys can be any worse than hers.
“Anna can you get some more forks from the back,” Barney says without taking his eyes off the table of food he’s arranging.
The time to open the doors is approaching. I’m tempted to peek and see if Dean is there.
When I come back from getting the forks, Barney is outside the door giving his usual speech. My heart thumps in anticipation.
Barney comes back and the people file in. I don’t want to look desperate so I keep my eyes on the bread and the plates. Once the first person gets to me I hand over a plate and can’t control my desire to look.
My eyes scan the line of people waiting for a free hot meal. I see Lucille. It looks like she got a new coa t. Thank God. The one she had was filthy and full of holes. It made me wonder if it actually kept her warm at all.
The man I yelled at is behind her.
No Dean.
My heart si nks. I don’t know what I was expecting. For him to walk in with his hood up, looking all dark and mysterious, for us to lock eyes and have a moment like in the movies, where the camera pans out, only to zoom back in on the two of us looking at each other with pure untainted happiness.
Of course not.
I was just hoping to see him.
“Hey darling, how are you today?”
“Hey, Lucille, I’m good and I see you got yourself a new coat.” Lucille spins, giving me a better look at the long gray coat with a fur-trimmed hood. “Very nice.”
“Isn’t it? The lady at the Salvation Army held it on the side for me. She didn’t even charge me for it.”
“You look beautiful.” From volunteering at the Salvation Army in the past I’m sure it was Michelle who gave her the coat. Michelle’s heart is bigger than anyone I’ve ever known. She probably slipped some money into the register to cover it.
Lucille shows me the fur on the hood and the inside layer of lined and quilted fleece. People have begun walking around her in order to get to the rest of the food.
“A nd this is the best feature…” Her words fade as my eyes catch Dean’s. His hood is pulled up like always, but as he makes his way in the door he removes it. His hair is slightly messy, but it only makes him look that much cuter. I smile at him. A smile that says, “Hi” opposed to, “Oh my God I am so happy to see you. My life is now complete.”
When he smiles back I bite my lip to conceal how much of an affect it has on me.
“Honey, did you see how the…oh I see.” Lucille’s eyes travel between Dean and I. “We’ll talk later, dear.” Lucille walks away and Dean moves closer.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Anna. It’s ridiculous to think she feels the same way, but not as ridiculous as to think I could actually pursue this.
My situation doesn’t seem like it will be changing anytime soon. Why would a girl like Anna even think about me let alone want to be with me?
Even if she is interested, what can I give her? I literally have nothing to offer. A girl like her can have her choice of guys , at least one who has a house to live in and a family.
On my way here I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Over and over I kept repeating,
“Why? Because I’m not beautiful like you? Why would a guy want to pay any attention to me? Right?”
“Anna , that is not what I meant and you know it.”
“No , Katie, I don’t,” I yell and storm away.
***
After my blow up at Katie I don’t see her for the rest of the day. Just as well. Having Katie—of all people—lecture me makes me see shades of red I didn’t know possible.
Her choice in guys has never been stellar. Like Bobby Binklestein who used to ditch her constantly to hang out with his friends. Carl Mathews, who used to get drunk and pass out on her all the time. And my all-time favorite, Marcus Scott, who cheated on her every chance he got. So who is she to tell me who I should and shouldn’t like? As if my judge of guys can be any worse than hers.
“Anna can you get some more forks from the back,” Barney says without taking his eyes off the table of food he’s arranging.
The time to open the doors is approaching. I’m tempted to peek and see if Dean is there.
When I come back from getting the forks, Barney is outside the door giving his usual speech. My heart thumps in anticipation.
Barney comes back and the people file in. I don’t want to look desperate so I keep my eyes on the bread and the plates. Once the first person gets to me I hand over a plate and can’t control my desire to look.
My eyes scan the line of people waiting for a free hot meal. I see Lucille. It looks like she got a new coa t. Thank God. The one she had was filthy and full of holes. It made me wonder if it actually kept her warm at all.
The man I yelled at is behind her.
No Dean.
My heart si nks. I don’t know what I was expecting. For him to walk in with his hood up, looking all dark and mysterious, for us to lock eyes and have a moment like in the movies, where the camera pans out, only to zoom back in on the two of us looking at each other with pure untainted happiness.
Of course not.
I was just hoping to see him.
“Hey darling, how are you today?”
“Hey, Lucille, I’m good and I see you got yourself a new coat.” Lucille spins, giving me a better look at the long gray coat with a fur-trimmed hood. “Very nice.”
“Isn’t it? The lady at the Salvation Army held it on the side for me. She didn’t even charge me for it.”
“You look beautiful.” From volunteering at the Salvation Army in the past I’m sure it was Michelle who gave her the coat. Michelle’s heart is bigger than anyone I’ve ever known. She probably slipped some money into the register to cover it.
Lucille shows me the fur on the hood and the inside layer of lined and quilted fleece. People have begun walking around her in order to get to the rest of the food.
“A nd this is the best feature…” Her words fade as my eyes catch Dean’s. His hood is pulled up like always, but as he makes his way in the door he removes it. His hair is slightly messy, but it only makes him look that much cuter. I smile at him. A smile that says, “Hi” opposed to, “Oh my God I am so happy to see you. My life is now complete.”
When he smiles back I bite my lip to conceal how much of an affect it has on me.
“Honey, did you see how the…oh I see.” Lucille’s eyes travel between Dean and I. “We’ll talk later, dear.” Lucille walks away and Dean moves closer.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Anna. It’s ridiculous to think she feels the same way, but not as ridiculous as to think I could actually pursue this.
My situation doesn’t seem like it will be changing anytime soon. Why would a girl like Anna even think about me let alone want to be with me?
Even if she is interested, what can I give her? I literally have nothing to offer. A girl like her can have her choice of guys , at least one who has a house to live in and a family.
On my way here I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Over and over I kept repeating,
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