Hollowgirl by Sean Williams Page A

of this,” seethed Clair One. “This doesn’t concern you.”
    â€œIf it concerns you, it concerns me.”
    â€œWhy? Because I’m you? I’m not you. I’m nothing like you. I would never be an Abstainer. I would never date him . I wouldn’t break d-mat or destroy the world or kill anyone, ever. Whoever you are, I want you to stay the hell away from me!”
    Clair didn’t back down, but she didn’t raise her voice, either, although it took considerable effort.
    â€œYou’re not me,” she said. “That’s right. But you became me, and I’m not your enemy now. I’m certainly not keeping you here by force. If you choose to leave, go right ahead. No one will stop you, if that’s what you really want.”
    â€œListen to her, Clair,” said Libby to Clair One. “She’s making sense. You always make sense, even when you’re being an idiot.”
    â€œI’m not an idiot,” Clair One said to Libby, looking betrayed. “I’m trying to look after us. All of us, including me. I don’t want to become her .”
    â€œWell, if I’d had a choice,” said Clair, “I might have felt the same. But here I am. You’re stuck with me.”
    â€œNot if I leave.”
    â€œIf you leave, I’ll have to go with you.”
    â€œNo—”
    â€œ Yes. Because you need me out there. Haven’t you figured that out yet? Ask Kari, if you don’t believe me.” Clair looked around for the PK. “Where is she, by the way?”
    â€œTalking to Señor Linwood about something they didn’tshare with us,” said Zep.
    â€œDad’s like that,” said Jesse with a roll of his eyes.
    â€œCome on, Clair,” Tash said to Clair One. “If you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?”
    Clair One simmered for a moment, then thought of something. “That’s a good point. And that’s why I think we should split up.”
    â€œGive it a rest,” said Libby.
    â€œNo, think about it. She should trust me . We need information about Wallace that we won’t find hiding down here. There must be someone out there who knows where he and the exit are, and I volunteer to go looking for them. Does anyone want to come with me?”
    â€œI think that’s a great idea,” said Ronnie. “I’ll go.”
    â€œIt’s too dangerous,” said Jesse. “The hollowmen—”
    â€œI didn’t ask you,” Clair One cut him off. “What about you, Zep? Are you in or out?”
    He looked from Clair to Clair One to Libby. “In. You, Libs?”
    â€œNo way,” she said. “But I won’t stop you from running off with your new girlfriend. Just don’t expect me to be waiting for you when you get back.”
    That dropped like a bomb into the conversation. Clair One, Libby, and Zep stared at one another with an entirely new, silent intensity that only Clair truly understood. And Jesse, to a lesser extent. She had told him some of it before his pattern had been copied into the Yard.
    â€œUh, if you’re talking about me . . . ,” Ronnie started to say.
    â€œWe’re not,” said Libby. “You’re not idiot enough to fall for your best friend’s boyfriend.”
    Clair, through pangs of shame that might possibly never leave her, could only admire how Libby had defused the situation—by moving everyone from one crisis to another, distracting them from the almost certainly disastrous plan of splitting up.
    â€œLibby—” Clair One started to say.
    â€œSave it. The time for that conversation isn’t now. You’re right about one thing, though. A little space is just what we all need to get our heads straight, so I’ll get the ball rolling.”
    Libby gathered up her blanket and went to sit elsewhere in the cave. Tash hesitated, then went after her, but not before giving Zep an