while, just like this conversation. Whenever Jeremy and I talk about race it’s not a good thing. I wish I could afford the luxury of being curious about other cultures when it’s convenient and in denial when it’s uncomfortable. But as a sistah, I never have that comfort.
“I don’t think you ever forget.” And he’s damn right. “Sounds like you have some race issues to deal with, Miss Jackson.”
“Say what?” Ignoring my shock, Jeremy picks up the television remote and begins flipping through the channels like I’m arguing with myself all of a sudden. This fool is tripping if he thinks he can throw out an ignorant comment like that and keep eating his food like he didn’t just say the stupidest thing ever. “Did you just call me a racist?”
“No. You came to that conclusion all on your own.” Jeremy finishes the last of his orange juice and sits back likes he’s got the itis, but we both know that’s not the case.
“You can’t be serious. I tell you something is more complicated than you make it out to be and you jump to the conclusion that I’m a racist. What the hell type of reasoning is that?” I’m so vexed that I’ve lost my appetite for the time being. Maybe it’ll come back once Jeremy leaves, which will be sooner than later if he keeps going on like this.
“Look, Jayd, you can’t sleep because your friend was murdered and your other friend got caught in the crossfire because he’s messing with another friend of yours who happens to be the girlfriend of a gangster. Am I missing anything here?” Jeremy’s smart-ass smirk is about to get slapped off of his pretty face if he keeps messing with me.
“What’s your point?” He’s got the gist of the details without the depth, as usual. That’s usually how the black gossip floats to the white side of campus. I didn’t have to tell Jeremy much of anything about why I’ve been absent from school, with Nigel getting shot and being out for a week. When the star quarterback misses even one game it’s everyone’s business why he’s not present. And in Jeremy’s eyes, Nigel’s business coincides with my business, making it indirectly his business. I would be flattered but I have enough faulty daddies in my life to deal with. The last thing I need is another one.
“My point is that you think I don’t understand because I’m white, when race isn’t the issue here at all. I understand all too well, and have for a long time, that you might want to consider a different crew to hang out with. And by the way, Maggie and her gangster boyfriend shouldn’t be your fall-back option.”
“Damn, Jeremy. Do you think you’re my daddy or what?”
“All I’m saying is that you can alleviate a lot of the drama in your life by making better choices. That’s what I mean by it being simple.”
“What, are you watching who I hang with now? But that would require you to actually be present at school on a regular basis.” Just because the fool brought me breakfast doesn’t mean he has the right to tell me who I should roll with. “Most people told me that I should have left you alone when we first starting kicking it but I didn’t listen to them then. I’m not listening to you now.”
“Jayd, come on. This is completely different,” Jeremy says, taking the rest of my hash browns from the table and eating them, since I’m obviously done. “I don’t want you making one bad decision after the next. I’m just saying I care about you and your safety.”
“Yeah, you care enough to judge who I choose to associate with. Sounds to me like you have some control issues, Mr. Weiner,” I say, snatching my blanket from under the pillow on my side of the couch and curling up like a cat. Jeremy laughs at my emotional response. He thinks it’s adorable when I get mad, but I’m not feeling cute at all right now. I feel like if I could pick his six-foot ass up I’d throw him off of my mom’s balcony.
“Miss Independent, that’s why I
“I don’t think you ever forget.” And he’s damn right. “Sounds like you have some race issues to deal with, Miss Jackson.”
“Say what?” Ignoring my shock, Jeremy picks up the television remote and begins flipping through the channels like I’m arguing with myself all of a sudden. This fool is tripping if he thinks he can throw out an ignorant comment like that and keep eating his food like he didn’t just say the stupidest thing ever. “Did you just call me a racist?”
“No. You came to that conclusion all on your own.” Jeremy finishes the last of his orange juice and sits back likes he’s got the itis, but we both know that’s not the case.
“You can’t be serious. I tell you something is more complicated than you make it out to be and you jump to the conclusion that I’m a racist. What the hell type of reasoning is that?” I’m so vexed that I’ve lost my appetite for the time being. Maybe it’ll come back once Jeremy leaves, which will be sooner than later if he keeps going on like this.
“Look, Jayd, you can’t sleep because your friend was murdered and your other friend got caught in the crossfire because he’s messing with another friend of yours who happens to be the girlfriend of a gangster. Am I missing anything here?” Jeremy’s smart-ass smirk is about to get slapped off of his pretty face if he keeps messing with me.
“What’s your point?” He’s got the gist of the details without the depth, as usual. That’s usually how the black gossip floats to the white side of campus. I didn’t have to tell Jeremy much of anything about why I’ve been absent from school, with Nigel getting shot and being out for a week. When the star quarterback misses even one game it’s everyone’s business why he’s not present. And in Jeremy’s eyes, Nigel’s business coincides with my business, making it indirectly his business. I would be flattered but I have enough faulty daddies in my life to deal with. The last thing I need is another one.
“My point is that you think I don’t understand because I’m white, when race isn’t the issue here at all. I understand all too well, and have for a long time, that you might want to consider a different crew to hang out with. And by the way, Maggie and her gangster boyfriend shouldn’t be your fall-back option.”
“Damn, Jeremy. Do you think you’re my daddy or what?”
“All I’m saying is that you can alleviate a lot of the drama in your life by making better choices. That’s what I mean by it being simple.”
“What, are you watching who I hang with now? But that would require you to actually be present at school on a regular basis.” Just because the fool brought me breakfast doesn’t mean he has the right to tell me who I should roll with. “Most people told me that I should have left you alone when we first starting kicking it but I didn’t listen to them then. I’m not listening to you now.”
“Jayd, come on. This is completely different,” Jeremy says, taking the rest of my hash browns from the table and eating them, since I’m obviously done. “I don’t want you making one bad decision after the next. I’m just saying I care about you and your safety.”
“Yeah, you care enough to judge who I choose to associate with. Sounds to me like you have some control issues, Mr. Weiner,” I say, snatching my blanket from under the pillow on my side of the couch and curling up like a cat. Jeremy laughs at my emotional response. He thinks it’s adorable when I get mad, but I’m not feeling cute at all right now. I feel like if I could pick his six-foot ass up I’d throw him off of my mom’s balcony.
“Miss Independent, that’s why I
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