post-traumatic stress disorder.’
Billy stared at his brother, then at Zoe. The television blared too loud in the background. ‘What the hell are you talking about? Like war veterans?’
‘Kind of,’ Charlie said. ‘In your case, from the accident.’
Billy shook his head. ‘I’m not suffering from anything except guilt because of killing someone and covering it up.’
‘See, this is what Charlie is talking about.’ Zoe stepped towards him. ‘We all feel guilty, of course we do, but . . .’
‘But I was driving,’ Billy said.
‘Yes,’ Charlie said. ‘We know. We were there, remember?’
‘Don’t fucking patronise me, Charlie.’
Charlie had his hands held out in a peacemaking gesture. ‘I’m not patronising you, Bro.’
Billy let out a laugh and looked from one of them to the other. ‘You’ve got it all worked out, haven’t you?’
‘We’re worried,’ Zoe said. ‘You seem to be losing perspective, having to cover the story as well. Just listen to Charlie.’
‘How have you been feeling?’ Charlie’s voice was even.
‘How the hell do you think I’ve been feeling?’
‘Any flashbacks or bad dreams?’
‘Charlie, I can’t believe you’re trying to diagnose me with this bullshit.’
‘It’s not bullshit, it’s a real medical condition. Have you been having panic attacks?’
Billy didn’t answer.
‘Amnesia, difficulty breathing?’
Billy remembered fainting in the toilets and at the press conference.
‘What about strange physical sensations?’
Billy thought about his tingling body, his twitching leg, his numb face. The throbbing pain that even now was coursing through his neck and shoulders, making him crick his neck. The solid lump on his temple, pulsing his guilty secret out into the ether.
‘Look.’ Charlie put an arm round Billy. He was distracted by Jeanie entering the room. She must’ve been sniffing out the bedrooms first, checking her new territory.
Charlie and Zoe stared at the dog.
‘What the hell is that?’ Zoe said.
‘I got a dog.’
Charlie shook his head. ‘What the fuck? Why?’
Billy shrugged. ‘I was at the Dog and Cat Home seeing if they had the Whitehouse dog . . .’
‘Wait,’ Zoe said. ‘The Whitehouses have a missing dog?’
Billy nodded. ‘Frank was walking it when…’
Zoe rubbed her eyes. ‘I don’t remember a dog. Was there a dog, Charlie?’
Charlie sighed. ‘Never mind that, what about this mutt?’
Jeanie padded calmly around as if she’d always lived there. She investigated the bin in the corner of the room.
‘She’s not a mutt.’
‘Why the hell would you get a dog? See this is all part of what we’re talking about, you’re losing your grip on things.’
‘People get dogs all the time. They’re not all in the queue for the psychiatric ward, are they?’
‘You know what I mean.’
Zoe was petting the dog now, scratching it between the ears. ‘What’s she called?’
‘Jeanie.’
Charlie took his hand from Billy’s shoulder and moved away. ‘You are fucking kidding me.’
‘What?’
‘You called her after Mum?’
‘Why not?’
‘Why not?’ Charlie was raging. ‘Don’t you see what the fuck is happening to you?’
‘What do you mean?’
Charlie sucked in a deep breath and took something from his pocket. More pills. Billy didn’t recognise them.
Charlie held them out. ‘Ideally, you should speak to a shrink about this, but in the circumstances I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘So you’re just going to drug me up, is that it?’ Billy clicked his fingers to get Jeanie’s attention. She wandered over, unfazed by the raised voices.
‘It’s not like that,’ Zoe said.
‘Sounds like it. What are they anyway?’
‘Mood stabilisers.’ Charlie showed Billy the packet. It had Tegretol stamped on it.
‘Fuck off, I’m not taking them.’
Charlie gave him a look. ‘You’ve been taking plenty of other shit. Without asking. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’ He
Billy stared at his brother, then at Zoe. The television blared too loud in the background. ‘What the hell are you talking about? Like war veterans?’
‘Kind of,’ Charlie said. ‘In your case, from the accident.’
Billy shook his head. ‘I’m not suffering from anything except guilt because of killing someone and covering it up.’
‘See, this is what Charlie is talking about.’ Zoe stepped towards him. ‘We all feel guilty, of course we do, but . . .’
‘But I was driving,’ Billy said.
‘Yes,’ Charlie said. ‘We know. We were there, remember?’
‘Don’t fucking patronise me, Charlie.’
Charlie had his hands held out in a peacemaking gesture. ‘I’m not patronising you, Bro.’
Billy let out a laugh and looked from one of them to the other. ‘You’ve got it all worked out, haven’t you?’
‘We’re worried,’ Zoe said. ‘You seem to be losing perspective, having to cover the story as well. Just listen to Charlie.’
‘How have you been feeling?’ Charlie’s voice was even.
‘How the hell do you think I’ve been feeling?’
‘Any flashbacks or bad dreams?’
‘Charlie, I can’t believe you’re trying to diagnose me with this bullshit.’
‘It’s not bullshit, it’s a real medical condition. Have you been having panic attacks?’
Billy didn’t answer.
‘Amnesia, difficulty breathing?’
Billy remembered fainting in the toilets and at the press conference.
‘What about strange physical sensations?’
Billy thought about his tingling body, his twitching leg, his numb face. The throbbing pain that even now was coursing through his neck and shoulders, making him crick his neck. The solid lump on his temple, pulsing his guilty secret out into the ether.
‘Look.’ Charlie put an arm round Billy. He was distracted by Jeanie entering the room. She must’ve been sniffing out the bedrooms first, checking her new territory.
Charlie and Zoe stared at the dog.
‘What the hell is that?’ Zoe said.
‘I got a dog.’
Charlie shook his head. ‘What the fuck? Why?’
Billy shrugged. ‘I was at the Dog and Cat Home seeing if they had the Whitehouse dog . . .’
‘Wait,’ Zoe said. ‘The Whitehouses have a missing dog?’
Billy nodded. ‘Frank was walking it when…’
Zoe rubbed her eyes. ‘I don’t remember a dog. Was there a dog, Charlie?’
Charlie sighed. ‘Never mind that, what about this mutt?’
Jeanie padded calmly around as if she’d always lived there. She investigated the bin in the corner of the room.
‘She’s not a mutt.’
‘Why the hell would you get a dog? See this is all part of what we’re talking about, you’re losing your grip on things.’
‘People get dogs all the time. They’re not all in the queue for the psychiatric ward, are they?’
‘You know what I mean.’
Zoe was petting the dog now, scratching it between the ears. ‘What’s she called?’
‘Jeanie.’
Charlie took his hand from Billy’s shoulder and moved away. ‘You are fucking kidding me.’
‘What?’
‘You called her after Mum?’
‘Why not?’
‘Why not?’ Charlie was raging. ‘Don’t you see what the fuck is happening to you?’
‘What do you mean?’
Charlie sucked in a deep breath and took something from his pocket. More pills. Billy didn’t recognise them.
Charlie held them out. ‘Ideally, you should speak to a shrink about this, but in the circumstances I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘So you’re just going to drug me up, is that it?’ Billy clicked his fingers to get Jeanie’s attention. She wandered over, unfazed by the raised voices.
‘It’s not like that,’ Zoe said.
‘Sounds like it. What are they anyway?’
‘Mood stabilisers.’ Charlie showed Billy the packet. It had Tegretol stamped on it.
‘Fuck off, I’m not taking them.’
Charlie gave him a look. ‘You’ve been taking plenty of other shit. Without asking. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’ He
Similar Books
