His Kiss by Melanie Marks Page A

was so going to let him kiss me this time; I would just go with my heart and enjoy a little heaven. My entire body filled with tingles. I closed my eyes and leaned in for it. But then … Griffin didn’t kiss me. Instead, he gently brushed another piece of popcorn out of my hair.
    “Good night, Heaven,” he said.
    He opened the car door, and then he was gone. He went back into the party and I was left with snoring Destiny and a pounding heart.
     
    ***
     
    All that night I thought about Griffin—about our near kiss. It had me tossing and turning and feeling all agitated. There was this one scene from the night—this perfect moment. It kept playing over and over in my head.
    When Griffin brought his mouth down to my ear. “I didn’t really get your poem … but I liked it.” His leaning in even closer. “I like you , Heaven.”
    I like you, Heaven.
    I like you, Heaven.
    I like you, Heaven.
    Oh! There was no way I could sleep, never again.
    I got out of bed and started writing in my ratty old song-journal. I wrote about Griffinan> !— I kept thinking about that scene. Of course he hadn’t gotten my poem. I had made it impossible to “get.” I had done that on purpose. But he had liked it. He liked me !
    The thought had me all tingly. For a moment. Until I started thinking about later—in my car. When he didn’t even try to kiss me. He had just pulled that stupid piece of popcorn out of my hair and then … left. Went back into the party to give his heart-stopping , seductive pick-up lines to some other girl. An easier girl.
    Ugh!
    I was such a sap.
    I crawled into bed and immediately started crying. I was so screwed—liking a guy that I could never even date.
     
    ***
     
    The next day I read Aiden’s newest text. It just said, Ally, are you ever going to talk to me?
    When I’d been with Aiden I’d been stable, comfortable. My stomach didn’t feel all fluttery or violent or in knots all the time. It just felt … normal.
    I wanted to feel that again. I needed to feel it. Milo was too boring and Griffin was too exciting but Aiden ?— Aiden was just right. Only, ugh! Despite Aiden’s constant texts he seemed to be with Fiona now. Sure, I’d catch him looking at me with longing—but did that actually mean anything? I wasn’t sure. I mean , he hadn’t really tried to woo me back, at all. I’d kept waiting and waiting. But no. Nothing. He never did. Just his stupid texts.
    “Maybe you just shouldn’t have a boyfriend for a while,” Jazz said the next day when I discussed how I was contemplating getting back together with Aiden while she gushed about Conner Watts.
    Deep down I knew she was probably right, I knew that. But the thing was I had this ache inside me, this need. Okay actually, in reality the need was Griffin. My heart wanted him, ached for him. But my heart was so messed up! It was stupid.
    I sighed, unable to tell her that—explain to her that the real reason I wanted Aiden back—the real, true reason—was just so I could stop fantasizing about Griffin. I didn’t like fantasizing about The Griff. I hated it. It left me so unsettled, made me want to scream or cry or rip out my hair. I mean , it was so incredibly pointless to yearn for him. Because I couldn’t have him—even if he somehow miraculously wanted me. Which, of course, he didn’t. Not really. It was just a game to him. Seeing how far he could stir “School Girl.” Ugh.
    But if I had Aiden—if we got back together—maybe things could go back to the way they were. Maybe I could feel happy and satisfied with my life again. Like I used to feel … before Griffin’s kiss.
     
    ***
     
    Monday morning I got another text from Aiden. It said: Can we talk?
    I thought about it a long time, then during World History I finally wrote back: Sure. After School?
    Aiden texted back almost immediately. Okay! Meet me outside the gym at 3:00.
    Seeing the words—from Aiden—dear, sweet Aiden—almost made me cry. It was so easy. Why