Highland Protector by Hannah Howell Page A

had grown more and more difficult to spend even a few moments alone with the man before he retreated behind that cold, distant shield he had so perfected. Used to a family that did not hide their emotions, good and bad, she was finding dealing with Simon very difficult.
    She stood up and moved to stand right next to him. The way his whole body grew tense both amused her and saddened her. It was funny how she, a small woman, could make a man like Simon afraid, but it hurt, too. Ilsabeth knew she loved him. The way her heart had grown so full it hurt when he had announced what he had done for the children told her so. The object of her devotion, however, sat there as if waiting for her to stick a knife in his ribs.
    And that, she mused, was probably the problem. Sometime in his past he had been badly used and hurt by a woman. Ilsabeth suspected it was a little more than that, that the incident had been made more than a heartbreak by other circumstances, for Simon was too intelligent to shield himself as he had over one simple heartache when he had been a young man. The problem was, how did she fight that memory, that hard lesson?
    “I thank ye for what ye did for Reid and Elen today,” she said, and brushed a kiss over his mouth.
    Suddenly his hand was at the back of her head holding her in place. A soft groan escaped him and she captured the sound of frustration and desire in her mouth. Ilsabeth was just slipping her arms around his neck to fully savor the deep, hungry kiss he was giving her when she felt him tense again. This time she pulled back, not wanting to suffer another of his abrupt retreats.
    “Nay,” she said, and started toward the door. “I will be the one to run away–this time. Good sleep, Simon.”
    Simon stared at the door for long moments after it had closed behind Ilsabeth. She saw him too clearly. That, he decided, was not a good thing. He doubted any man wanted a woman who could see him clearly.
    She had it right, however. He did run away. He pulled her close, gave himself a taste of the passion they could share, and then ran for the hills. The fact that Ilsabeth knew he did actually brought the heated sting of a blush to his cheeks and he had not blushed since he had been a beardless boy.
    “She isnae Mary, ye great fool,” he muttered as he filled his goblet with wine.
    A nudge at his leg drew his gaze down to Bonegnasher and he slipped the dog a piece of roasted venison. “There are many reasons I should stay far away from her, my old friend. Many, many reasons.”
    Bonegnasher rested its head on his thigh.
    “But, when I sort through it all, the biggest is that, if I grab what I want, I fear I will never want to let go. Mary’s lies cut me to the bone but it wasnae just her; it was all the other lies and betrayals that happened at that time. I fear that Ilsabeth could do so much worse with naught but a simple smile of regret as she walked away from me and left me all alone.”
    After kissing the children good night, Ilsabeth started to leave only to have Reid pull her back to his side with a soft whisper of her name. “What is it, laddie?”
    “It was verra good of Sir Simon to do what he did for me and Elen, aye?” said Reid.
    She sat down on the edge of his little bed and gently brushed the hair from his forehead. “It was verra good of him. He is a verra fine mon.”
    “If he is so fine then mayhap ye and him would get married and Elen and I can stay with both of ye. And the cat and Bonegnasher.”
    And that was something she wanted so badly she could taste it, but she would not raise the child’s hope. It was difficult enough to keep her own hopes under control. “I wouldnae set my heart on that happening, loving.”
    “Ye dinnae like him? I mean as a lass likes a laddie?”
    “Oh, I like him, but when one is grown, liking isnae enough. Let it be, Reid. What happens will happen nay matter how much any of us want it or dinnae want it. Dinnae forget that I am in hiding and Sir