Hienama by Storm Constantine

what
happened,’ I said.
    What happened was this. Ysobi
had stayed overnight with me the night before the pearl arrived and
while I’d slept he’d laid his hand on my stomach to feel the pearl.
He liked to do that; more so than I did, anyway. He’d felt movement
inside me, and psychically he’d begun to suspect my time was near.
This feeling had nagged at him during the morning, and he’d decided
he would come to me in the early afternoon. Then the episode with
Gesaril had occurred. ‘I intended to give him half an hour of my
time,’ Ysobi said. ‘I intuited Orphie would come to you, so I knew
you wouldn’t be alone, but it wasn’t my intention not to be part of
the pearl drop.’
    ‘So he hurt himself to keep you
there?’ I asked.
    Ysobi sighed. ‘I tried to
dismiss him, as gently as I could. But he begged me not to leave
the Nayati. He said he was terrified of something and he wasn’t
making it up, Jass. I could tell. He said he could see faces all
around him that wished to harm him.’
    Ysobi had been firm, or so he
told me. He’d told Gesaril that there were no evil influences
around him. But Gesaril wouldn’t accept this. He’d reminded Ysobi
that he was responsible for his students. In return, Ysobi had told
Gesaril that most of his fears were in his imagination, and he’d
got to start taking more responsibility for himself. He’d also said
why he wanted to come to me, which perhaps had been a mistake.
Eventually, Gesaril had calmed down and left the room. He’d spoken
about wanting to use the bathroom before he left.
    What he’d actually done was go straight
to the kitchen and hack at his wrists and throat with the sharpest
blade he could find. I imagine it made quite a mess.
    I didn’t want to hear what
Gesaril had said, as Ysobi – and later Tibar and the other hienamas
– had patched him up. But Ysobi wanted to tell me so I had to
listen. ‘If I’m dead, I won’t be a bother to you any more. I won’t
be a bother to anyhar. Let me die.’ And so on.
    Was this really a plea from the
heart from a damaged soul or a calculated dramatic act? I wondered
if I was just exceptionately hard-hearted and cold. After all, here
I was, surrounded by supporters and Gesaril was lying alone,
virtually under guard, in a bedroom of the Nayati. Ysobi was here
with me and I held against my side the one thing that was perhaps
my most potent weapon in this war. If it was a war.

3
    At least Ysobi accepted that Gesaril
was too reliant on him, and agreed to let Sinnar monitor the har
for the next few days. Gesaril was removed to the phylarch’s house,
and Ysobi carried on working with Orphie. I knew Orphie was
disgusted by the whole affair and shared my views. But that might
just have been because he cared for me.
    I was unaware of public opinion
over the Gesaril business, or even how much others in the community
knew about it, but my friends tactfully kept quiet on the subject.
They came to visit me all the time, and one night, I got blissfully
drunk with Fahn, Minnow and Vole. We laughed a lot. There was no
mention of Gesaril.
    Ysobi came to stay with me more
often. Once, I said to him, ‘Will Gesaril be sent home now?’
    Ysobi hesitated before answering.
‘We’ve sent a letter to Kyme.’
    ‘Meaning?’ A hard edge had come
into my voice. I couldn’t help it.
    ‘We can’t just abandon him,
Jass.’
    I thought I could abandon him
quite easily, preferably naked, on an exposed hillside during a
snowstorm. ‘Are you still going to try and work with him?’
    ‘He has to work on himself,
mainly. I think most of his fears are imaginary.’
    ‘You think it’s possible to
help him, then?’
    ‘I don’t think it’s
impossible.’
    I wanted to say more, but held
my tongue. I’d decided that arguments should not be part of my
arsenal.
    Before I continue with the
story of Gesaril, there has to be an interlude. I have to talk
about my son.
    The harling came into our lives
properly about a week after the