Hidden Barriers by Sara Shirley Page B

wondering how to approach the subject with Josh for a while now. I wasn’t sure he would even speak to me. I told him not to call me, but I never actually thought he would do as I asked. He hasn’t even been in with Nick to Vines, which means either he is moving on or just avoiding me.
    The only way to know for sure is to call him. As if the gods above heard my thoughts and took matters into their own hands, my phone begins ringing on my nightstand. Turning off the hypnotizing voices of The Wailin’ Jennysthat’s been on repeat for what seems like hours, I glance at the caller ID and read Josh’s name on the screen.
    It’s time to face your fears, Sam. You have to tell him.
    After sliding my finger across the screen, I bring the phone to my ear. “Hey.”
    We continue to talk briefly before deciding it would be best if he were to stop by the house so I can tell him my story face-to-face. Before hanging up, the words “Anytime, Sam” pass over his lips, and I have to believe there is still hope for us yet.

    A little over an hour later, I hear the sounds of tires pulling up in the driveway. Glancing out my bay window, I see Josh making his way to the front door, brown paper bag in hand. Lucy is the only other person home with me tonight, so when the doorbell chimes, I hear her yell, “I got it!”
    The other two girls are at derby practice. Lucy and I have the night off since we are on the “B” team. Kim and Rose secured their places on the all-star team last year, and they train more since they are part of the traveling derby team that competes nationally. Usually on these nights when it’s just Lucy and me, we find some chick flick and order Chinese while she does my hair in some crazy updo.
    Tonight is not one of those nights. After I told the girls about my situation with Stone’s parole and everything that happened with Josh, they understood I needed to get my crap together, and I had to work quickly, too. Opening day for roller derby was in a couple of weeks.
    I hear a brief commotion coming from downstairs before footsteps on the stairs announce Josh’s arrival. Standing in my doorway, he takes in my room before his eyes seek out mine. As he takes a few steps inside the room, I watch as he slowly places the brown bag of liquor onto the bureau next to the bedroom door before taking off his jacket. He looks freshly showered, and his hair appears slightly wet. It’s not my place to ask where he was coming from when he called. All that matters is that he called, and he’s here now.
    “Hey, can I come in?” he asks as he slowly makes his way over to my window bench where I’ve been sitting contemplating the words that need to be said. I nod silently in approval as he stands just feet away from me.
    “I’m glad you called. I hope I didn’t interrupt your plans for the night,” I say, standing and tossing my blankets back behind me.
    “No, I was just heading home anyway,” he admits as he sits on the opposite end of the window bench.
    Walking toward my closet, I pull out a fleece pullover before grabbing the Jack and walking over to the window. I sit opposite of Josh and pull my feet underneath me while the Jack sits on the floor next to me. “Josh, I feel as though I need to apologize for my actions the other night. I should have never let you leave like that, not knowing…” How do I even form this explanation? Reaching out his hands, he cautiously links his fingers over my hand. “See, this is what I mean. You shouldn’t have to be so worried about touching me or wondering how I’m going to react, whether I’ll freak out, or if I’ll be okay like I was in your bedroom that night we first kissed. I have to try harder to get past things, but you have to know how I feel about you before I tell you what I need to. Because once I tell you my story, you may not want to hear anything more from me.”
    “Sam.” He slowly runs his hands along my arms. “Whatever you need to tell me, I’ll