to protect you. They were my boys, after all."
"Let them all come," I said. "I've never depended on you for protection."
He nodded slightly, admitting the point. "This new case of yours, Taylor..."
"Yes."
"Drop it."
I leaned back in my chair, studying him thoughtfully. Walker isn't usually that direct. "Why?"
"Because the Authorities don't take kindly to anyone investigating the Nightside's history and beginnings."
"Why not?"
Walker sighed, as though faced with a very dim pupil. "Because it is possible that you might discover things better left lost and forgotten, things that might threaten or even upset the status quo. If only because an awful lot of people, and I use the term loosely, would be very interested in obtaining such information. And would almost certainly make every effort to buy, steal, or torture it from you. We are talking about the kind of people even you would have trouble saying no to. They might even go to war with each other over its possession, and we can't have that. We're still recovering and rebuilding after the recent angel war— a war you helped to bring about. The Authorities would quite certainly order me to have you eliminated, rather than risk another war in the Nightside."
"And you'd hate to have to do that," I said.
"Of course," said Walker. "There's still a lot of use I was hoping to get out of you, before your inevitable early death."
"You'd really have me killed, after all the jobs I've done for you? After all the messes I've cleaned up for you? After I saved the whole Nightside by bringing the angel war to a close?"
"Only after you started it."
"Details, details."
Walker looked at me narrowly. "There is a line you can't be allowed to cross, Taylor. A line no-one can be allowed to cross. For the good of all. So; who hired you?"
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "I thought you knew everything, Walker?"
"Normally, I do. Whoever hired you must be incredibly powerful, to hide their identity from my people, and that in itself is worrying."
"I never reveal the identity of a client, Walker. You know that. I will say ... I was offered as payment the identity of my mother."
Walker put down his knife and fork and looked at me for a long moment. He looked suddenly older, tireder.
"Trust me, John," he said finally. "You don't want to know."
When Walker starts calling me by my first name, it usually means I'm in real trouble, but this time there was something in his voice, and in his face ...
"You know! All this time, you've known who my mother is and kept it from me!"
"Yes," said Walker, unmoved by the clear anger and accusation in my voice. "I never told you because I wanted to protect you. Your father and I were ... close, once."
"So where were you when he was drinking himself to death?"
My voice must have been cold as ice, but Walker didn't flinch. He met my gaze squarely, and his voice was calm. "There was nothing I could have done for him. He'd stopped listening to me a long time before. And we all have the right to go to Hell in our own way. Sometimes I think that's what the Nightside is all about."
"Tell me," I said, and it wasn't a request. 'Tell me the name of my mother."
"I can't," said Walker. "There are ... reasons. I'm one of only two people who know, and God willing we'll take the knowledge to our graves with us."
"The other being the Collector."
"Yes. Poor Mark. And he won't tell you either. So let it go, John. Knowing who your mother was won't make you happy or wise. It killed your father."
"What if she comes back?" I said.
"She won't. She can't."
"You're sure of that?"
"I have to be." Walker leaned back in his chair. He looked smaller, diminished. "Give up this case, John. No good will come of it. The origins of the Nightside are best left lost and forgotten."
"Even to the Authorities?"
"Quite possibly. There are things they don't tell me. For my own protection. Let the past stay in the past. Where it can't hurt anyone."
I did consider it, for a
"Let them all come," I said. "I've never depended on you for protection."
He nodded slightly, admitting the point. "This new case of yours, Taylor..."
"Yes."
"Drop it."
I leaned back in my chair, studying him thoughtfully. Walker isn't usually that direct. "Why?"
"Because the Authorities don't take kindly to anyone investigating the Nightside's history and beginnings."
"Why not?"
Walker sighed, as though faced with a very dim pupil. "Because it is possible that you might discover things better left lost and forgotten, things that might threaten or even upset the status quo. If only because an awful lot of people, and I use the term loosely, would be very interested in obtaining such information. And would almost certainly make every effort to buy, steal, or torture it from you. We are talking about the kind of people even you would have trouble saying no to. They might even go to war with each other over its possession, and we can't have that. We're still recovering and rebuilding after the recent angel war— a war you helped to bring about. The Authorities would quite certainly order me to have you eliminated, rather than risk another war in the Nightside."
"And you'd hate to have to do that," I said.
"Of course," said Walker. "There's still a lot of use I was hoping to get out of you, before your inevitable early death."
"You'd really have me killed, after all the jobs I've done for you? After all the messes I've cleaned up for you? After I saved the whole Nightside by bringing the angel war to a close?"
"Only after you started it."
"Details, details."
Walker looked at me narrowly. "There is a line you can't be allowed to cross, Taylor. A line no-one can be allowed to cross. For the good of all. So; who hired you?"
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "I thought you knew everything, Walker?"
"Normally, I do. Whoever hired you must be incredibly powerful, to hide their identity from my people, and that in itself is worrying."
"I never reveal the identity of a client, Walker. You know that. I will say ... I was offered as payment the identity of my mother."
Walker put down his knife and fork and looked at me for a long moment. He looked suddenly older, tireder.
"Trust me, John," he said finally. "You don't want to know."
When Walker starts calling me by my first name, it usually means I'm in real trouble, but this time there was something in his voice, and in his face ...
"You know! All this time, you've known who my mother is and kept it from me!"
"Yes," said Walker, unmoved by the clear anger and accusation in my voice. "I never told you because I wanted to protect you. Your father and I were ... close, once."
"So where were you when he was drinking himself to death?"
My voice must have been cold as ice, but Walker didn't flinch. He met my gaze squarely, and his voice was calm. "There was nothing I could have done for him. He'd stopped listening to me a long time before. And we all have the right to go to Hell in our own way. Sometimes I think that's what the Nightside is all about."
"Tell me," I said, and it wasn't a request. 'Tell me the name of my mother."
"I can't," said Walker. "There are ... reasons. I'm one of only two people who know, and God willing we'll take the knowledge to our graves with us."
"The other being the Collector."
"Yes. Poor Mark. And he won't tell you either. So let it go, John. Knowing who your mother was won't make you happy or wise. It killed your father."
"What if she comes back?" I said.
"She won't. She can't."
"You're sure of that?"
"I have to be." Walker leaned back in his chair. He looked smaller, diminished. "Give up this case, John. No good will come of it. The origins of the Nightside are best left lost and forgotten."
"Even to the Authorities?"
"Quite possibly. There are things they don't tell me. For my own protection. Let the past stay in the past. Where it can't hurt anyone."
I did consider it, for a
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