Hero! by Dave Duncan Page A

it: “Truthspeak,” or “Revelations.” Not this pretty little unknown.
    His hesitation had her staring at him in frank dismay. “I mean, I was so awe-inspired to meet you last night! I’ve always dreamed of meeting you, and I felt so honored and I just wished I’d got a chance to speak to you alone, and then I thought of the interview, and you can see what a wonderful opportunity this would be for you to make your views known—in such a very important, such a catastrophically important matter—and it would certainly be a boost to my career, because I admit I’m new to this, and if you’ll only just say yes, then I’ll be more than happy, I mean overjoyed to come to Valhal any time you want me to and it won’t take very long.” Last night she had been tongue-tied and shivery when he shook her hand. Apparently her tongue had broken free since then.
    “…and of course those bruises on your face won’t matter, because the gnomes downstairs can edit them out, and I won’t be awkward, and I’ll certainly ask any questions you want to be asked.” She drew a quick breath, her blue eyes anxiously searching his face for signs of agreement. “I’ll be so grateful,” she sighed.
    Now that was more like it. Did he detect a trace of a blush?
    “I’ll have to think about the interview, Feirn. I’d be accusing the Patrol of gross incompetence, and that would be a pretty drastic step…Why don’t you come and visit at Valhal for a day or two, so we can talk about it?”
    “Can I? I mean, will you? Oh…Any time! I’ve heard so much about Valhal, and I’ve always dreamed of seeing it. Can I? Can I really come?”
    Why did she doubt? “And stay? Three days at the very least!”
    “Oh, I’d love to!” Yes, she was certainly blushing. Girls could be very complex and confusing creatures at times, but he had no doubts now that this one knew what was needed.
    “I’ll be home by noon, or a little after. You will come? As soon as possible?”
    “Oh, yes, yes!”
    “I shall count the minutes!” He felt his bruises twinge as he smiled.
    Citizen Feirn sighed soulfully. “I feel terribly honored, Admiral.”
    “No, I’m the honored one. Noon, then?”
    She beamed and faded out, blue eyes full of stars.
    He flexed his shoulders. He had the bed warmer he needed, obviously. The interview…Well, he would think about it. Maybe she could be granted a follow-up, after one of the big names had broken the story. It would still be a big score for a small-timer.
    And yet, something felt wrong. He turned his attention to the sneering sim. “Analysis of motives?”
    “The girl’s motives The lummox scratched its head and twitched. “Insufficient data for reliable analysis. Preliminary evaluation of facial expressions and other physical manifestations suggest—”
    “Never mind the technicalities. Am I going to get laid?”
    “Affirmative, at ninety-nine percentile.”
    Vaun chuckled, wondering why he had ever doubted. “For love or money?”
    “Neither. Analysis at a relatively low confidence level indicates nonrational motivation.”
    He was startled. “You mean she’s nuts?” If so, then he had a responsibility to turn the girl in for curing.
    “Negative. Preliminary assessment…”
    “No technicalities!”
    “A tendency toward romantic delusions, is all, and a dominant self-image in the role of the Hero’s Lady.”
    Ah! Vaun had been right in assessing her reactions as hero worship. Well, he would just have to perform like a hero!
    “And your own motives,” the sim continued, “were much as usual, in that you wished to be refused.”
    “ What! Balls, I did! Why in hell would I want to be refused?”
    “Sir,” the sim said, with a complete absence of its usual sneer, “this conversation might best be completed in more confidential surroundings.”
    Vaun glared around the dusty little office and listened to the hush of the great house. It felt private enough, but of course the equipment was