that cycle goes… and has been turning for twenty years. Every time I get a little bit closer to going for good, but I never quite make it.
‘That’s why we are on a cruise together. Yet another “new footing” after a sobbing young lady turned up at the house to tell me what my husband had been doing to her behind my back. Zander doesn’t want me to divorce him. Not until I’ve inherited what my parents decide to leave me in their wills, anyway. Oh yes, this holiday was going to wipe the slate completely clean. Alas, the ship had barely left Southampton when we had our first argument and that is why I was in Malaga by myself, to get away from him. He hasn’t spoken one word to me since the sail-away party, unless you count the voicemail message he left on my mobile when he realised I’d missed the ship. He said he hoped that I never got back on it.’
Angie found tears seeping from the corners of her eyes and she didn’t know whether it was because of her own shattered fantasies or her old friend’s suffering.
Selina smiled, leaned over the table and squeezed Angie’s hand. ‘You have to be careful what you wish for sometimes. I hoped, on this holiday, to find something that gave me a great big kick up the bottom so I could finally say those words, “I’m leaving you, Zander” and mean them.’
Angie wiped at her eyes with a serviette. Who would ever have thought the feisty, beautiful, perfect Selina would have this sort of life.
‘Do you think you will?’
‘Oh, absolutely, without a doubt. You have no idea what verbal abuse I have in store for him when I get back on the ship. He won’t be there to greet me, he will be in our suite glowering, his whole being full of festering fury waiting to vent in my direction. He’ll expect me to take it silently as usual. But this time, I won’t.’ Selina’s eyes began to sparkle. ‘Seeing you again has made me think a lot about the girl I was. She didn’t grow up into the woman she should have been, like you did: smart, savvy, living with a man who obviously adores you. You look like a happy woman, Ange.’
‘Do I?’
‘Yes, you do. And these past couple of days, horrific as they’ve been, have put a pair of jump leads on my spirit. I’m ready to change things.’
‘It’s been a bit mad, hasn’t it?’ grinned Angie, dabbing at the ever-increasing flow from her eyes.
‘Crazy. But this,’ she spread her arms towards the table, the sky, the sea, the whole island, ‘money couldn’t buy the serenity I feel at this moment. It’s like a taste of the freedom I could have if I walked out of my marriage.’
‘I’m glad. I want you to be happy,’ said Angie, smiling through her tears. ‘Even if you have been a thorn in my brain for twenty years.’
‘I acted like a cow, I know I did. I think I felt I deserved to be punished for it.’
‘Oh Sel, no,’ Angie shook her head wildly. ‘Well, you can stop now.’
‘Ange, you don’t know how many times over the years I’ve wanted to find you and turn up on your doorstep and say hi. But I was totally convinced that you would tell me to piss off.’
‘I would have done.’
They grinned at each other.
‘Let’s have dessert. There’s still plenty of room left in my dress. I’ve got just enough money left to buy us cake, coffee and another carafe of wine,’ said Selina.
‘Please no coffee, just cake and wine.’
So they ordered two desserts and another carafe of the icy cold house white and talked about old friends from school and teachers and laughed like the girls they once were.
‘Remember that awful square dancing we had to do?’ giggled Angie. ’You used to pretend every week to have hurt your ankle in hockey so you could sit at the side. Now I know why Mrs Weaver let you get away with that one so much.’
‘I love dancing now,’ replied Selina, making Angie’s eyebrows rise.
‘Rubbish. You would rather follow my sister into a convent than dance.’
‘It’s true. A
‘That’s why we are on a cruise together. Yet another “new footing” after a sobbing young lady turned up at the house to tell me what my husband had been doing to her behind my back. Zander doesn’t want me to divorce him. Not until I’ve inherited what my parents decide to leave me in their wills, anyway. Oh yes, this holiday was going to wipe the slate completely clean. Alas, the ship had barely left Southampton when we had our first argument and that is why I was in Malaga by myself, to get away from him. He hasn’t spoken one word to me since the sail-away party, unless you count the voicemail message he left on my mobile when he realised I’d missed the ship. He said he hoped that I never got back on it.’
Angie found tears seeping from the corners of her eyes and she didn’t know whether it was because of her own shattered fantasies or her old friend’s suffering.
Selina smiled, leaned over the table and squeezed Angie’s hand. ‘You have to be careful what you wish for sometimes. I hoped, on this holiday, to find something that gave me a great big kick up the bottom so I could finally say those words, “I’m leaving you, Zander” and mean them.’
Angie wiped at her eyes with a serviette. Who would ever have thought the feisty, beautiful, perfect Selina would have this sort of life.
‘Do you think you will?’
‘Oh, absolutely, without a doubt. You have no idea what verbal abuse I have in store for him when I get back on the ship. He won’t be there to greet me, he will be in our suite glowering, his whole being full of festering fury waiting to vent in my direction. He’ll expect me to take it silently as usual. But this time, I won’t.’ Selina’s eyes began to sparkle. ‘Seeing you again has made me think a lot about the girl I was. She didn’t grow up into the woman she should have been, like you did: smart, savvy, living with a man who obviously adores you. You look like a happy woman, Ange.’
‘Do I?’
‘Yes, you do. And these past couple of days, horrific as they’ve been, have put a pair of jump leads on my spirit. I’m ready to change things.’
‘It’s been a bit mad, hasn’t it?’ grinned Angie, dabbing at the ever-increasing flow from her eyes.
‘Crazy. But this,’ she spread her arms towards the table, the sky, the sea, the whole island, ‘money couldn’t buy the serenity I feel at this moment. It’s like a taste of the freedom I could have if I walked out of my marriage.’
‘I’m glad. I want you to be happy,’ said Angie, smiling through her tears. ‘Even if you have been a thorn in my brain for twenty years.’
‘I acted like a cow, I know I did. I think I felt I deserved to be punished for it.’
‘Oh Sel, no,’ Angie shook her head wildly. ‘Well, you can stop now.’
‘Ange, you don’t know how many times over the years I’ve wanted to find you and turn up on your doorstep and say hi. But I was totally convinced that you would tell me to piss off.’
‘I would have done.’
They grinned at each other.
‘Let’s have dessert. There’s still plenty of room left in my dress. I’ve got just enough money left to buy us cake, coffee and another carafe of wine,’ said Selina.
‘Please no coffee, just cake and wine.’
So they ordered two desserts and another carafe of the icy cold house white and talked about old friends from school and teachers and laughed like the girls they once were.
‘Remember that awful square dancing we had to do?’ giggled Angie. ’You used to pretend every week to have hurt your ankle in hockey so you could sit at the side. Now I know why Mrs Weaver let you get away with that one so much.’
‘I love dancing now,’ replied Selina, making Angie’s eyebrows rise.
‘Rubbish. You would rather follow my sister into a convent than dance.’
‘It’s true. A
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