she’d woken to the blare of the smoke alarm.
He shrugged, his gaze fixed on their hands, clasped atop the
rough rail of the fence. “I don’t know. Adrenaline takes over, I guess. I’ve
always been that way about any physical challenge—give me a cliff to climb or a
roof to jump off, and I’m your man.”
Ryan was giving her a window into his soul that she suspected he
didn’t open for many people.
“Is that a good thing?”
“I used to think so. Now, I’m not so sure.”
She’d thought she didn’t understand what made him tick. Now he
was showing her. Trusting her with it.
“What changed that for you?” she asked carefully.
His fingers moved restlessly against hers. “You know my father
had a heart attack on the job.”
She nodded. Had that been what made him realize his own
mortality?
“You probably don’t know it was my fault.” His voice sounded
even, but she could hear the pain in it. That pain grasped her heart and
wouldn’t let go.
“How could it be? Ryan—”
“I was first in. I outran my support. Got trapped. My father was
trying to get to me when he collapsed.”
She clasped his hand, immeasurably moved by his confiding in
her, longing to help and not sure how to do it. “I’m sure he didn’t blame you.”
“I blamed myself. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a job where I can
endanger other people.”
Saying the right thing seemed impossible. “Is that the real
reason why you want to join the arson team?”
He shrugged. “At least I don’t put someone else in danger when
I’m using my brains.” His smile flickered. “Not that North thinks I’m overly
endowed in that department.”
“He looks like the kind of person who doesn’t think highly of
anyone.” This seemed to be her opportunity to ask about the investigation, but
she hesitated.
“North is chronically suspicious, that’s for sure. He even—”
He stopped, but she thought she knew what he’d been going to
say.
“He’s suspicious of me. Is that what you mean?”
Ryan seemed to draw back, even though he didn’t move. “There’s
no reason to suspect you,” he said.
A chill went down her spine at his careful choice of words. “But
he does. Why on earth would he think that? Did he find something in the
investigation that points to me?”
Ryan’s eyes met hers. “Don’t ask me that, Laura. I can’t talk to
you about the investigation.”
There was a finality to his tone that shook her—a cool
professionalism that seemed to turn him from her friend into someone else
entirely. The man who’d confided in her was gone, replaced by someone she
didn’t know.
“I see.” She pulled her hand away from his.
“I’m sorry.” He had the grace to look miserable about it. “It’s
my job.”
“I know.” She tried to muster a smile, but she couldn’t quite
manage.
It was his job. She’d seen that single-minded determination in
him before, when he’d disregarded her protests and snatched Mandy from her when
he’d rescued them from the fire.
She’d learned more than she’d expected about Ryan today, but she
wasn’t sure it was what she’d wanted to know. For all his friendliness and
charm, all the caring he’d shown her and Mandy, Ryan would put his job before
other people.
Before her.
Chapter Seven
H e just
plain wasn’t good at this personal relationship stuff, Ryan decided. He helped
Jerry White unload the plastering supplies in front of Laura’s house a couple
of nights after the Sunday picnic that had started so well and ended so badly.
“Good thing you showed up to lend a hand, buddy,” Jerry
grumbled. “I was already up to my eyeballs without this extra job.”
“You’re just lucky anyone trusts you enough to do their
plastering. If they knew you like I do—”
Jerry slammed the door of the panel truck and elbowed him. “So,
is this woman the latest girlfriend?”
“Just an old friend. That’s all.” At least that’s what he
intended. After the way
He shrugged, his gaze fixed on their hands, clasped atop the
rough rail of the fence. “I don’t know. Adrenaline takes over, I guess. I’ve
always been that way about any physical challenge—give me a cliff to climb or a
roof to jump off, and I’m your man.”
Ryan was giving her a window into his soul that she suspected he
didn’t open for many people.
“Is that a good thing?”
“I used to think so. Now, I’m not so sure.”
She’d thought she didn’t understand what made him tick. Now he
was showing her. Trusting her with it.
“What changed that for you?” she asked carefully.
His fingers moved restlessly against hers. “You know my father
had a heart attack on the job.”
She nodded. Had that been what made him realize his own
mortality?
“You probably don’t know it was my fault.” His voice sounded
even, but she could hear the pain in it. That pain grasped her heart and
wouldn’t let go.
“How could it be? Ryan—”
“I was first in. I outran my support. Got trapped. My father was
trying to get to me when he collapsed.”
She clasped his hand, immeasurably moved by his confiding in
her, longing to help and not sure how to do it. “I’m sure he didn’t blame you.”
“I blamed myself. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a job where I can
endanger other people.”
Saying the right thing seemed impossible. “Is that the real
reason why you want to join the arson team?”
He shrugged. “At least I don’t put someone else in danger when
I’m using my brains.” His smile flickered. “Not that North thinks I’m overly
endowed in that department.”
“He looks like the kind of person who doesn’t think highly of
anyone.” This seemed to be her opportunity to ask about the investigation, but
she hesitated.
“North is chronically suspicious, that’s for sure. He even—”
He stopped, but she thought she knew what he’d been going to
say.
“He’s suspicious of me. Is that what you mean?”
Ryan seemed to draw back, even though he didn’t move. “There’s
no reason to suspect you,” he said.
A chill went down her spine at his careful choice of words. “But
he does. Why on earth would he think that? Did he find something in the
investigation that points to me?”
Ryan’s eyes met hers. “Don’t ask me that, Laura. I can’t talk to
you about the investigation.”
There was a finality to his tone that shook her—a cool
professionalism that seemed to turn him from her friend into someone else
entirely. The man who’d confided in her was gone, replaced by someone she
didn’t know.
“I see.” She pulled her hand away from his.
“I’m sorry.” He had the grace to look miserable about it. “It’s
my job.”
“I know.” She tried to muster a smile, but she couldn’t quite
manage.
It was his job. She’d seen that single-minded determination in
him before, when he’d disregarded her protests and snatched Mandy from her when
he’d rescued them from the fire.
She’d learned more than she’d expected about Ryan today, but she
wasn’t sure it was what she’d wanted to know. For all his friendliness and
charm, all the caring he’d shown her and Mandy, Ryan would put his job before
other people.
Before her.
Chapter Seven
H e just
plain wasn’t good at this personal relationship stuff, Ryan decided. He helped
Jerry White unload the plastering supplies in front of Laura’s house a couple
of nights after the Sunday picnic that had started so well and ended so badly.
“Good thing you showed up to lend a hand, buddy,” Jerry
grumbled. “I was already up to my eyeballs without this extra job.”
“You’re just lucky anyone trusts you enough to do their
plastering. If they knew you like I do—”
Jerry slammed the door of the panel truck and elbowed him. “So,
is this woman the latest girlfriend?”
“Just an old friend. That’s all.” At least that’s what he
intended. After the way
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