caroming together on the sidewalk. The cobblestoned street was shiny under the gaslights, then turned to black, then shiny again at the next light. Momma saw them too, Bella knew, because her body became alert as she studied the degree of drunkenness from their walk. When Poppa was very drunk, he was not able to beat Momma and the boys (why doesnât he beat me?): he threatened, but that was all. Tonight he was very drunk. Bella got up to go to bed and was almost to the kitchen door when she heard Momma gasp lightly, almost choke. She ran back and looked out the window, where Momma was staring. Down below the house, right under a gaslight, Poppa was vomiting in the street. Father Stefan stood beside him holding his fat belly and laughing. Poppa vomited and vomited. Bella stared. She looked at Momma, whose face was horrified. Then Bella ran to her room and leaped in bed, covering her eyes with her hands as if she could thereby blot out the sight.
Poppa vomiting in the street! Shaming himself, humiliating himself! Her proud, arrogant father, allowing himself to be so demeaned! And right under the light! And the priest laughing! Cruel as Michael was, Bella wanted him to remain proud and noble, a big man. That way his treatment of his family seemed somehow justified, or anyway, permitted. If he was better than they, he was allowed to act so. But here he was, vomiting in public! Bella knew Momma was deeply shocked and shamed, and when she heard Mommaâs step in the hall, she sat straight up. Momma was going to bed before Poppa returned! She had never done that before. Bella wondered if she had turned off the gas lamp and left the apartment dark, if Poppa would fall, if he would be angry and beat them all. She remained sitting, listening for his step.
Beside her, Euga slept peacefully as the stumbling steps broke the night silence. There was no tramping tonight, just a kind of slurred sound. Poppa was a long time at the door. Maybe he couldnât find his key, maybe heâd dropped it. Eventuallyâit seemed an hour to Bellaâshe heard the sound of the door creaking open, and a stumbling shuffling step inside. Then the door slammed hard. Then silence. Bella waited and waited, but there were no more sounds. What had happened to Poppa? She wanted to get up and see, but was too frightened. Suppose he was angry? She waited, and was still waiting when she fell asleep; she waited all through her dreams.
The next day, when she got up, Momma looked grim, and Poppa was not to be seen. The bedroom door was shut. Bella did not dare to ask Momma where Poppa was, and if he had gone to bed last nightâbut she noticed his collar and tie, vest and jacket lying on the couch in the dining room. Momma said nothing. When Bella went down to the street on her way to her third-grade class, she tried to see without turning her head. It was there: a big puddle of disgusting yellowish green. She held her head rigid and walked on to school.
Birthdays in the family were not really celebrated, but usually Momma would make a special cake or get some candy for the event. This year, she entirely forgot Bellaâs birthday in January. Bella forgot it too, so it didnât matter. The situation went on the same, although it seemed Momma dragged more and Poppa was more subdued and yet even angrier. And Bella too dragged more, because she couldnât seem to do her work properly at school and she was failing all her tests. She didnât tell Momma, but each morning when she went to school, her stomach ached.
One night Poppa came in very bad; Bella could hear Momma almost dragging him to bed. But the next morning he was up and dressed, prepared to leave the house at the usual time. Momma had put on a light coat, for it was May and the trees near the schoolyard had little green balls on them. She was almost at the door when Poppa came in from his bedroom with his face funnyâvery whiteâand his mouth open as if he were going to
Poppa vomiting in the street! Shaming himself, humiliating himself! Her proud, arrogant father, allowing himself to be so demeaned! And right under the light! And the priest laughing! Cruel as Michael was, Bella wanted him to remain proud and noble, a big man. That way his treatment of his family seemed somehow justified, or anyway, permitted. If he was better than they, he was allowed to act so. But here he was, vomiting in public! Bella knew Momma was deeply shocked and shamed, and when she heard Mommaâs step in the hall, she sat straight up. Momma was going to bed before Poppa returned! She had never done that before. Bella wondered if she had turned off the gas lamp and left the apartment dark, if Poppa would fall, if he would be angry and beat them all. She remained sitting, listening for his step.
Beside her, Euga slept peacefully as the stumbling steps broke the night silence. There was no tramping tonight, just a kind of slurred sound. Poppa was a long time at the door. Maybe he couldnât find his key, maybe heâd dropped it. Eventuallyâit seemed an hour to Bellaâshe heard the sound of the door creaking open, and a stumbling shuffling step inside. Then the door slammed hard. Then silence. Bella waited and waited, but there were no more sounds. What had happened to Poppa? She wanted to get up and see, but was too frightened. Suppose he was angry? She waited, and was still waiting when she fell asleep; she waited all through her dreams.
The next day, when she got up, Momma looked grim, and Poppa was not to be seen. The bedroom door was shut. Bella did not dare to ask Momma where Poppa was, and if he had gone to bed last nightâbut she noticed his collar and tie, vest and jacket lying on the couch in the dining room. Momma said nothing. When Bella went down to the street on her way to her third-grade class, she tried to see without turning her head. It was there: a big puddle of disgusting yellowish green. She held her head rigid and walked on to school.
Birthdays in the family were not really celebrated, but usually Momma would make a special cake or get some candy for the event. This year, she entirely forgot Bellaâs birthday in January. Bella forgot it too, so it didnât matter. The situation went on the same, although it seemed Momma dragged more and Poppa was more subdued and yet even angrier. And Bella too dragged more, because she couldnât seem to do her work properly at school and she was failing all her tests. She didnât tell Momma, but each morning when she went to school, her stomach ached.
One night Poppa came in very bad; Bella could hear Momma almost dragging him to bed. But the next morning he was up and dressed, prepared to leave the house at the usual time. Momma had put on a light coat, for it was May and the trees near the schoolyard had little green balls on them. She was almost at the door when Poppa came in from his bedroom with his face funnyâvery whiteâand his mouth open as if he were going to
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