Chapter 1
“Isn’t she beautiful?” I whispered, without prying my eyes off of my beautiful baby girl. She let out a little yawn as I tucked the pink blanket tighter around her. I read that swaddling babies gave them comfort and I wanted her to feel just that. It was hard to look away from her, she was too perfect.
“Bells?” I asked when she didn’t respond. She was staring at the ceiling without looking in my direction.
“Bells?” I repeated.
“What?” she snapped as she looked down, cutting her eyes at me before staring at the TV.
I just shook my head. I wasn’t going to fight with her here, not now. I didn’t understand why she was so angry all the time. If she wasn’t angry, she was disgusted - with me, with her life, with the world around her. I couldn’t seem to make her happy anymore.
She hated being pregnant, she bitched about it constantly. It’s like that little plus sign on that stick triggered everything else that was wrong with her world. I did my best to do right by her. As soon as we found out she was pregnant I arranged to have the house built. I remembered all the things she wanted - we would talk about it after we first got married. But once the build started, she said she didn’t care what it looked like. So, I took it upon myself to make it the way she wanted, back when she had dreams. Now, she acted like her life was a nightmare. But I’d made a vow to stick with her through better or worse, and things were definitely getting worse. But a promise was a promise.
“Miss Belinda, how are you feeling, honey?” a young nurse squeaked as she bounced into the room with a couple of magazines in her hand.
“I’m feeling good,” Bells replied, and gave the nurse a sweet smile. Her eyes were bright and cheerful; the cold stare she just gave me had disappeared in an instant.
“Well, that’s good to hear. You’re a trooper,” she said as she patted her shoulder, and put the magazines on her lap. “I grabbed these from the nurse’s station for you.”
“Thanks,” Belinda grinned as she picked up the magazines.
“How’s that beautiful little bundle doing?” she asked as she looked in my direction.
“She’s great!” Belinda chimed in before I could answer. The truth is she had only held our baby briefly a couple of times, usually if there was a hospital staff person around. Otherwise, she had completely ignored Samantha. I didn’t even look up; I kept my eyes on my beautiful little girl, listening to her little grunts as she wiggled around.
“But, would you mind taking her to the nursery for a little bit?” Belinda asked without looking in my direction. I jerked my head up as I glared my eyes at her, willing her to look at me.
“My husband has to run some errands and I could use a nap, I’m a little tired,” she said, and started to yawn.
She was lying. I didn’t have any errands to run. I didn’t want to put my baby down. I sure as hell didn’t want to send her to the nursery. I wanted to tell the nurse that it wasn’t true. That she was lying, even about the yawn. It was as fake as the smile she was wearing for the nurse.
But I didn’t. I didn’t want to cause a scene or start an argument.
“Sure thing, honey,” she said as she walked over to me, and held her arms out for Samantha. I darted my eyes over to Belinda, who was giving me the cold stare again.
“I’ll take good care of her, dad, I promise,” she said as she put her arms under the pink blanket, and took my baby out of my arms. I tried to return her smile.
“You just give us a buzz when you’re ready for us to bring her back,” the nurse said to Belinda as she compared their armbands to make sure they matched before leaving the room.
“I sure will,” Belinda said quietly as she put her head back on the pillow, and closed her eyes.
“I don’t have errands to run,” I said quietly as soon as the door shut.
“Just go home, Joe,” she said with her eyes still
“Isn’t she beautiful?” I whispered, without prying my eyes off of my beautiful baby girl. She let out a little yawn as I tucked the pink blanket tighter around her. I read that swaddling babies gave them comfort and I wanted her to feel just that. It was hard to look away from her, she was too perfect.
“Bells?” I asked when she didn’t respond. She was staring at the ceiling without looking in my direction.
“Bells?” I repeated.
“What?” she snapped as she looked down, cutting her eyes at me before staring at the TV.
I just shook my head. I wasn’t going to fight with her here, not now. I didn’t understand why she was so angry all the time. If she wasn’t angry, she was disgusted - with me, with her life, with the world around her. I couldn’t seem to make her happy anymore.
She hated being pregnant, she bitched about it constantly. It’s like that little plus sign on that stick triggered everything else that was wrong with her world. I did my best to do right by her. As soon as we found out she was pregnant I arranged to have the house built. I remembered all the things she wanted - we would talk about it after we first got married. But once the build started, she said she didn’t care what it looked like. So, I took it upon myself to make it the way she wanted, back when she had dreams. Now, she acted like her life was a nightmare. But I’d made a vow to stick with her through better or worse, and things were definitely getting worse. But a promise was a promise.
“Miss Belinda, how are you feeling, honey?” a young nurse squeaked as she bounced into the room with a couple of magazines in her hand.
“I’m feeling good,” Bells replied, and gave the nurse a sweet smile. Her eyes were bright and cheerful; the cold stare she just gave me had disappeared in an instant.
“Well, that’s good to hear. You’re a trooper,” she said as she patted her shoulder, and put the magazines on her lap. “I grabbed these from the nurse’s station for you.”
“Thanks,” Belinda grinned as she picked up the magazines.
“How’s that beautiful little bundle doing?” she asked as she looked in my direction.
“She’s great!” Belinda chimed in before I could answer. The truth is she had only held our baby briefly a couple of times, usually if there was a hospital staff person around. Otherwise, she had completely ignored Samantha. I didn’t even look up; I kept my eyes on my beautiful little girl, listening to her little grunts as she wiggled around.
“But, would you mind taking her to the nursery for a little bit?” Belinda asked without looking in my direction. I jerked my head up as I glared my eyes at her, willing her to look at me.
“My husband has to run some errands and I could use a nap, I’m a little tired,” she said, and started to yawn.
She was lying. I didn’t have any errands to run. I didn’t want to put my baby down. I sure as hell didn’t want to send her to the nursery. I wanted to tell the nurse that it wasn’t true. That she was lying, even about the yawn. It was as fake as the smile she was wearing for the nurse.
But I didn’t. I didn’t want to cause a scene or start an argument.
“Sure thing, honey,” she said as she walked over to me, and held her arms out for Samantha. I darted my eyes over to Belinda, who was giving me the cold stare again.
“I’ll take good care of her, dad, I promise,” she said as she put her arms under the pink blanket, and took my baby out of my arms. I tried to return her smile.
“You just give us a buzz when you’re ready for us to bring her back,” the nurse said to Belinda as she compared their armbands to make sure they matched before leaving the room.
“I sure will,” Belinda said quietly as she put her head back on the pillow, and closed her eyes.
“I don’t have errands to run,” I said quietly as soon as the door shut.
“Just go home, Joe,” she said with her eyes still
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