Her Best Mistake by Jenika Snow

of awkward time to spend together. “Why me?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. He leaned back in his seat as if he were surprised by her question.
    “Why you?”
    She nodded.
    “Honestly, I don’t know what it is about you that has me so drawn.”
    “Um, thanks?” She had no clue if that was a compliment or not.
    He smiled and then chuckled. “I meant that in only the best of ways. “Why not you is a better question.” Before he could elaborate the waitress came by with their drinks.
    “I just don’t know what you’re trying to do here with me.” A date didn’t constitute a serious, monogamous relationship, she knew that, but for her this was more than just that one-night stand.
    “I’m going to be honest and lay everything out there, Shoshanna, because that is one of the reasons I wanted to see you again … to be honest with you.” He rested one arm over the back of his chair and straightened his leg out the side. “My home life was shitty, my father a drunk that liked to beat his wife and son, and that was all I ever knew until I could fight back.”
    Her heart went in her throat at his words. “I am so sorry. I had no clue.”
    He shook his head. “No one did, not really. My dad could hide shit pretty well. He partied, made friends, and everyone loved him.” Toby started messing with the napkin in front of him. “But then he’d take out his anger and frustration on my mom and me, hit us because he thought he was stronger.” He stared at her eyes now. “That is, he used to until I started fighting back.” He exhaled roughly, looked at the ceiling for a moment as if he were trying to get his bearings, and when he spoke this time it was filled with so much emotion. “I party too much, probably shouldn’t even be drinking alcohol, and have gotten into my fair share of fights. I shouldn’t be with the women I associate with, should be more responsible. We shared a connection back then, Shoshanna, and I knew I needed to be a better person. I have never felt anything else like it since.”
    Her breath stalled at his words.
    “I won’t sugarcoat my life, and I don’t have much to offer.” He leaned forward another inch. “But despite the rumors you heard, which I won’t deny are probably true for the most part, I do know that I want you.”
    “Toby—”
    “Please, baby, let me finish.” He took a deep breath. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I want to be honest and tell you where I stand.” He took a deep breath and looked away. A frown marred the area between his eyes, and for a moment he seemed so vulnerable and lost. He schooled his features and looked back at her. “Whether you believe this or not, I want you, Shoshanna. I think about you constantly, have since that year in high school. I was just a stupid asshole that got in too much trouble to have the balls to do something about what I want.”
    This whole conversation had turned into something so much deeper. Here he was, baring his soul because he wanted her? “I just don’t understand. You never even spoke to me directly in school, didn’t even know I was alive until we knocked into each other at school.” She swallowed. “And so much time has passed, Toby. After one night of sex, and you having to be gone due to … due to your father passing, you’re now saying you want me for something more, like a serious commitment?” she asked sincerely, not sure if all of this was actually happening.
    He took her hand in his. “Yes, all of that and more, Shoshanna. I want you, and I know you want me, too. Whether or not I deserve to be with you is your call.” He squeezed her hand gently. “But I promise I want to show you that I do want this more than I have ever wanted anything, Shoshanna.”
    “This is so crazy, Toby.”
    He smiled softly. “I know, baby, and I swear I can’t even begin to describe why I feel this strongly, but I promise I do, and it feels fucking incredible.”
    You might