enjoyed, the danger. He asked himself whether he should be able to speak if he were to try, and then he knew that he should not, that the words would stick in his throat, that he should make sounds which would dishonour his cause. There was no real choice nor decision, then, on Benyon's part; his silence was after all the same old silence, the fruit of other hours and places, the stillness to which Georgina listened while he felt her eager eyes fairly eat into his face, so that his cheeks burned with the touch of them. The moments stood before him in their turn; each one was distinct. Ah, well, said Mr. Roy, perhaps I interrupt; I will just dash off my note. Benyon knew that he was rather bewildered, that he was making a protest, that he was leaving the room; knew presently that Georgina again stood before him alone.
You are exactly the man I thought you! she announced, as joyously as if she had won a bet.
Page 62
You are the most horrible woman I can imagine. Good God, if I had to live with you! That is what he said to her in answer.
Even at this she never flinched; she continued to smile in triumph. He adores mebut what's that to you? Of course you have all the future, she went on; but I know you as if I had made you!
Benyon considered a moment. If he adores you, you are all right. If our divorce is pronounced you will be free, and then he can marry you properly, which he would like ever so much better.
It's too touching to hear you reason about it. Fancy me telling such a hideous storyabout myselfmeme! And she touched her breasts with her white fingers.
Benyon gave her a look that was charged with all the sickness of his helpless rage. Youyou! he repeated, as he turned away from her and passed through the door which Mr. Roy had left open.
She followed him into the hall, she was close behind him; he moved before her as she pressed. There was one more reason, she said. I wouldn't be forbidden. It was my hideous pride. That's what prevents me now.
I don't care what it is, Benyon answered, wearily, with his hand on the knob of the door.
She laid hers on his shoulder; he stood there an instant, feeling it, wishing that her loathsome touch gave him the right to strike her to the earth, to strike her so that she should never rise again.
How clever you are, and intelligent always, as you used to be; to feel so perfectly and know so wellwithout more scenesthat it's hopelessmy ever consenting! If I have, with you, the shame of having made you promise, let me at least have the profit!
His back had been turned to her, but at this he glanced round. To hear you talk of shame!
You don't know what I have gone through; but, of course, I don't ask any pity from you. Only I should like to say something kind to you before we part. I admire you so much. Who will ever tell her, if you don't? How will she ever know, then?
Page 63
She will be as safe as I am. You know what that is, said Georgina, smiling.
He had opened the door wide while she spoke, apparently not heeding her, thinking only of getting away from her for ever. In reality he heard every word she said, and felt to his marrow the lowered, suggestive tone in which she made him that last recommendation. Outside, on the stepsshe stood there in the doorwayhe gave her his last look. I only hope you will die. I shall pray for that! And he descended into the street and took his way.
It was after this that his real temptation came. Not the temptation to return betrayal for betrayal; that passed away even in a few days, for he simply knew that he couldn't break his promise, that it imposed itself on him as stubbornly as the colour of his eyes or the stammer of his lips; it had gone forth into the world to live for itself, and was far beyond his reach or his authority. But the temptation to go through the form of a marriage with Kate Theory, to let her suppose that he was as free as herself and that their children, if they should have any, would, before the law, have a right to
You are exactly the man I thought you! she announced, as joyously as if she had won a bet.
Page 62
You are the most horrible woman I can imagine. Good God, if I had to live with you! That is what he said to her in answer.
Even at this she never flinched; she continued to smile in triumph. He adores mebut what's that to you? Of course you have all the future, she went on; but I know you as if I had made you!
Benyon considered a moment. If he adores you, you are all right. If our divorce is pronounced you will be free, and then he can marry you properly, which he would like ever so much better.
It's too touching to hear you reason about it. Fancy me telling such a hideous storyabout myselfmeme! And she touched her breasts with her white fingers.
Benyon gave her a look that was charged with all the sickness of his helpless rage. Youyou! he repeated, as he turned away from her and passed through the door which Mr. Roy had left open.
She followed him into the hall, she was close behind him; he moved before her as she pressed. There was one more reason, she said. I wouldn't be forbidden. It was my hideous pride. That's what prevents me now.
I don't care what it is, Benyon answered, wearily, with his hand on the knob of the door.
She laid hers on his shoulder; he stood there an instant, feeling it, wishing that her loathsome touch gave him the right to strike her to the earth, to strike her so that she should never rise again.
How clever you are, and intelligent always, as you used to be; to feel so perfectly and know so wellwithout more scenesthat it's hopelessmy ever consenting! If I have, with you, the shame of having made you promise, let me at least have the profit!
His back had been turned to her, but at this he glanced round. To hear you talk of shame!
You don't know what I have gone through; but, of course, I don't ask any pity from you. Only I should like to say something kind to you before we part. I admire you so much. Who will ever tell her, if you don't? How will she ever know, then?
Page 63
She will be as safe as I am. You know what that is, said Georgina, smiling.
He had opened the door wide while she spoke, apparently not heeding her, thinking only of getting away from her for ever. In reality he heard every word she said, and felt to his marrow the lowered, suggestive tone in which she made him that last recommendation. Outside, on the stepsshe stood there in the doorwayhe gave her his last look. I only hope you will die. I shall pray for that! And he descended into the street and took his way.
It was after this that his real temptation came. Not the temptation to return betrayal for betrayal; that passed away even in a few days, for he simply knew that he couldn't break his promise, that it imposed itself on him as stubbornly as the colour of his eyes or the stammer of his lips; it had gone forth into the world to live for itself, and was far beyond his reach or his authority. But the temptation to go through the form of a marriage with Kate Theory, to let her suppose that he was as free as herself and that their children, if they should have any, would, before the law, have a right to
Similar Books
